Obscure adages, Pathways Trajectory and Socialism - an omniscient morning at Early Birds!

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

TM Tom started us off with some of his favorite adages, from the likes of Macbeth and McMuffin.  We learned that….

 

• TM Carmine has been pricked in the thumb, in the toes and other parts he cares not to mention and witches inflict negativity.
• TM Pam likes the non-native Whooper Swans found in Lake Eola and feeds them Australian Melba Toast.  She Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM Aleta transported herself to the Garden of Eden where she and Adam hung out by a big ole fig tree in full fig.
• I looked up the meaning (to give someone the screaming abdabs (or habdabs) is a British expression for inducing an attack of extreme anxiety or irritation in someone) ... The modern British meaning is presumably a softening of the idea of delirium tremens.  No wonder TM Jeff  suffered from abdabs in college!
• I, Ana, put my head on the block whenever I take a risk or dive into the unknown.  Everything I’ve ever done is because I thought it was a pretty good idea at the time….
• TM Guest Lois will look up the word fettle because no one, except the Topic Master, has ever heard of this word before.  Keep us posted on your findings, Lois!
• DTM Kip thinks the guilt has been taken off the gingerbread and like the Great Gatsby used to say, we need to have some good ole fashioned guilt back.

 

Along came the prepared speeches…

 

• TM Aleta took us down the carrousel of her trajectory in Persuasive Influence in Pathways, from her surveillance video on a complex legal case to her McDonald’s hat, which prompted DTM Kip ipso facto, to book a flight to Southwestern Rural Pennsylvania with a wifi hotspot.  She Won Best Speaker Award.
• I, TM Ana, told about my life as a Cuban exile and hopefully inspired my audience to not fall for the siren song of insidious socialist demagogues who are keeping their guava pastries all to themselves.

 

And then we had evaluations…

 

• DTM Kip praised TM Aleta’s persuasive influence on her evaluators because he, Kip, had to wine and dine his evaluators before they consented to evaluate him.  This project is not a culmination but a starting point.
• TM Jeff appreciated the dissemination of information to Americans about the real situation in Cuba.  He encouraged me to use more visuals and props.  There will be a sequel!  He Won Best Evaluator Award.

 

DTM Kip kept us entertained with a variety of virtual backgrounds – from his college dorm room to his elementary school dining room to the NYC skyline with bats straight from the Wuhan Lab flying around.

 

The Word of the Day was

 

OMNISCIENT, adj.

Knowing everything; having infinite awareness, understanding and insight.

Ex.  We are not omniscient; we are fallible human beings.

 

Dates to Remember:

August 12 – Speech Evaluation Contest

September 2 – Humorous Speech Contest

 

See you next week!

 

Ana

Recap Writer

Travel Adventures, Analytical Initiatives and Unexpected Evaluations - another successful meeting of EarlyBird Toastmasters!

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

Another successful meeting was started by Topic Master Marie, who took us on journeys to faraway lands.   We heard that…

 

• TM Tom reenacted his favorite movie, Romancing The Boulder, by dining with his wife in the same restaurant in Cartagena de Indias.  He kept calling his wife Kathleen throughout the evening, and she became his ex-wife soon thereafter.
• TM Carmine accomplished his goal to reach the tallest peak in Yosemite in spite of the 10,000 ft altitude by reducing his huffing and puffing to manageable levels.  Just Do It!
• TM Aleta thinks a trip to Publix is her dream vacation at this point in time, only second to her childhood family vacations in a Volkswagen bus along with her many siblings and The Parentals.
• Soon-to-be TM Lois perfected the art of the pivot by describing her greatest adventure while figuring out her lights when zooming into the meeting this morning. Way to go, Lois!  Everyone forgot the question.
• TM Jeff ‘fessed that he gets lost .8 times a day and cannot find his car.  This is a genetic trait directly – and inevitably – traceable to his Mother.   He Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM Paolo confirmed that discovering everything new is the point of travelling in the first place.  Smell the flowers, taste the flavors.  Otherwise, just stay home, per favore!
• TM Jose now travels with his pillow and although it’s good to get away, it’s also good to get back.  The secret is in the transportability of the pillow.
• I, Ana, prefer to travel by plane because planes get you there faster – if you don’t count the extra security measures we endure since 2001.  I’m just realizing that what I believe is a complete myth.

 

In the prepared speeches…

 

• TM Randolph is an innovative musician who punctiliously plans to be spontaneous and whose wife thinks he’s too wordy.
• TM Pam comes from the Fine Family and has realized that she and her husband may not get older if they persist with the nonsense of denying reality.  She Won Best Speaker Award.

 

As for evaluations….

 

• In an unprecedented 25-minute evaluation, TM Carmine wondered why Mrs. Bastein thinks Randolph is wordy.
• TM Jeff praised TM Pam for her skillful combination of metaphors and stories, which she consolidates eloquently and punctiliously.  He Won Best Evaluator Award.

 

The Word of the Day was

 

PUNCTILIOUS, adj.

Marked by or concerned about precise details of codes or conditions.

Example:  He was punctilious in the amenities provided to his guests.

 

First-time Grammarian TM Jose gave a punctilious report of outstanding expressions and flowery phrases.  Good job, Jose!

 

Ah Counter TM Tom only heard one Ah throughout the entire meeting.  Are we definitely avoiding crutch words and fillers?  Or was he still daydreaming about Kathleen and the Cartagena Romance?

 

Zoom Master:  TM Paolo gave us a very detailed visual demo of the equipment he uses for optimal Zoom performance:  a director’s high chair, a classic virtual background, 2 cameras – both at eye level when standing or -barely- leaning on the director’s chair.  Unrestricted chest capacity allows for better breathing and best voice projection.   Thank you, TM Paolo!

 

See you next week!

 

Ana

Recap Writer

 

 

 

 

 

 

Table Topic Extravaganza!! A fun morning at EarlyBirds

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

TM Randolph introduced some intriguing Table Topics Extravaganza Part I,  which helped us learn that…

 

• TM Paolo is inspired by his even-tempered wife who keeps calm in the midst of an offspring extravaganza…
• TM BeckyJo wonders about the secrets kept in the homeless community and would like to be homeless for a day… maybe.
• TM Aleta met her best friend in church by inviting him to visit her private paradise….
• I, Ana, am by nature a cowardly person and I overcome my fear to do it anyway….
• TM Pam, unfiltered, has no hidden talents, especially graciousness and patience, and has the attention span of a gnat….
• TM Carmine self censored things he did and would not do again due to audience rating….
• TM Jose would not change anything but would correct some things and repeat others that served him well.  Ah…  hindsight, hindsight…..
• Guest Lois equates summer with 3 words:  bright, warm and fun!
• Future TM Sofia has lots of fun summer memories, mostly the absence of school and homework, pool and playing with friends…

 

For Table Topics Extravaganza, Part II, TM Pam introduced one-word topics….

 

• “Low” - TM Aleta is reminded of crawling under something, visiting caverns with stalactities and stalacmites and her fear of heights.
• “Shower” – TM BeckyJo likes showers of praise, respect, and mostly  June showers which bring June orchids – she graced us with a visual tour.
• “Inversion” – TM Carmine launched into a merry-go-round of inversion conversion and revision derision.   He won Best Extravagant Table Topics Award.
• “Prognosis” – TM Randolph confiscated his daughter’s phone for 3 days as a consequence for her sins of omission.
• “Cyclone” – I, Ana, was unsure of the difference between cyclone and typhoon and in any case, I prefer just your average tropical summer storm.
• “High Pressure” – Guest Lois thrives under high pressure, it motivates her, and inspires her to say “Hocus Pocus, Where’s My Focus?”
• “Lightning” – TM Paolo believes that the speaker sets the tone by appearing at the lectern like a bolt of lightning.
• “Rain” – Guest Sofia likes heavy clouds that pour down rain so the ducks near her home can finally take good showers.

 

TM Carmine non-lugubriously evaluated our entire meeting and asked the functionaries to give their reports. 

 

• Ah Counter – Double duty done by Timer TM Jose, who, as described by TM Aleta, was AWE-some!
• Grammarian – TM Randolph reported noteworthy expressions, many of which are reported in this recap.  See above. His favorite was TM Carmine’s SALUBRIOUS.   Look it up.
• Zoom Master – I, Ana, expertly opine that we are all becoming experts at muting and unmuting ourselves.

 

The Word of the Day was

 

LUGUBRIOUS – adj.

Looking or sounding sad or dismal

 

Example:  Our Table Topics Extravaganza was everything but lugubrious.

 

See you next week!

 

Ana

Recap Writer

 

 

 

 

Oldies but goodies, Bloodsucking (poli)tics and Outliers - a great morning at EarlyBirds

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

I, Ana, led us down musical memory lane…

 

• DTM Jim D. reminisced about N’Orleans and NOT being born on the bayou….
• TM Jose’s favorite song is The House of the Rising Sun, which during adolescence he interpreted as partying all night and going home to play the guitar while watching the rising sun. He Won Best Table Topics Award.
• Youngster TM Randolph was intrigued by the idea that “Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad”, and will definitely look up the song when he arrives at The House of The Rising Sun.
• Returning TM Pam agrees Ain’t No Mountain High Enough and marveled that her grandson has not even heard about The Beatles* (not to be confused with Ticks)
• Guest Lois (aka Louisa) likes Dancing In the Streets – it makes her feel joyous, alive and full of energy.   Glad you came back, Louisa!
• If TM Paolo could choose a way to die, it would be singing Killing Me Softly With This Song – he enlisted some talented backup singers from the audience, too!

 

As far as prepared speeches….

 

• TM Aleta warned us about bloodsucking bulls-eye rash politicians (Borrelia burgdorferi) to be extracted from our skin with eyebrow tweezers and carefully right-sized into an alcoholic Ziplock bag where they can sip on their Corona with lyme.  These critters are otherwise known as ticks.
• DTM Mary Helen beckoned us to become outliers - an outlier is a truly exceptional individual who, in his or her field of expertise, is so superior that he defines his own category of success – to move to Rosetto, PA and to get rid of electronics to prevent our premature demise from technological frustration.  She Won Best Speaker Award.    After hearing her speech, TM Paolo is booking travel to relocate his family to Risotto, Italy, to enjoy the rice.

 

And then came the evaluations…

 

• TM Tom praised TM Aleta for her dynamite story and powerful introduction which allowed him to be an outlier evaluator in spite of a cardinal technical glitch.
• TM Pam was intrigued by DTM Mary Helen’s idea of being mentored by books and suggested that she circle back to the idea – of cardinal importance to the speech.   She is also out-and-out joining the Outliers Book Club.  She Won Best Evaluator Award.

 

Zoom Master Report by me:

 

• Everyone is perfectly centered in their respective squares. 
• We beat the record of active Co-Hosts in EarlyBirds’ Zoom history (“when the cat’s away, the mice play….”).
• Today’s recording is up in the Cloud, somewhere.  For real.

 

We were all very happy to see TM Carmine back in the fold and signing up for a role next week. 

 

The Word of The Day was

 

CARDINAL, adjective

Of great importance

 

Example:  A recording of this meeting is cardinal to provide a good laugh to our absent members.

 

Note: The adjective is not to be confused with the noun versions –  can gringos please empathize with English-as-a-Second-Languagers in the room?   The Cardinals (Arizona football team), a galero (plural: galeri; from Latin: galerum) a red, broad-brimmed hat with tasselated strings worn by Cardinals (also known as Princes) in the Catholic Church, or Cardinalis cardinalis, popularly known as cardinal the red bird.

 

Next week we will have a TABLE TOPICS EXTRAVAGANZA!!! Come join us

 

Ana

Recap Writer

Spanish Phrases, Espresso Yourself and Unlikely Friendships - an international morning at EarlyBirds!

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 Outgoing President Jeff thanked the outgoing officers and officially installed the new officers for this coming year:

• TM Paolo, President
• DTM Jim D., Treasurer
• TM Tom, Secretary
• TM Chris, VP Public Relations
• DTM Mary Helen, VP Membership
• DTM Kip, VP Ed
• TM Randolph, Sargeant-at-Arms

 Welcome on board! Looking forward to an exciting year!

 DTM Mary Helen led us in Table Topics translated from Spanish expressions:

• DTM Jim D. emphatically questioned “can you ask the question?  Why this question? Why here?  Why now?”  More will be revealed….
• TM Tom wisely stated that wisdom comes from not answering the question so commitment to evidence is avoided.  Translation:  “My mind is made up, don’t confuse me with the facts”.
• I, Ana, will indeed take it the wrong way, depending on how cranky I am when you hurl out your direct criticism under the veiled guise of humor.
• TM Jose does not really want to talk about it, mainly because he’s losing his mind on an empty stomach while creating polls, keeping time and stressing out.  He Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM Randolph thanked imaginary people for letting him know that dinner was at 7 after he showed up at 8, and for announcing that he was having mayo-less sandwiches for lunch so he could bring his own mayo.
• TM Jeff often says I’ve heard enough because ever since he was a teenager, he’s had strong opinions and is definitely not a nuanced person.
• Guest Lois thanked the Topic Master for calling on her so she can learn to process her thinking and avoid going on and on.  Good job, Lois!
• DTM Kip’s wife has helped him shape his lips to say “I’m sorry” even though internally he knows he did NOT make a mistake.  Apologizing is such a bother…
• TM Marie practiced being a locavore when growing up,  as her father showed up with cases upon cases of strawberries and her mother was forced to make cases upon cases of little jars of strawberry jam.  Botulism was simply not permitted.

 

And then came the prepared speeches…

• TM Paolo espressoed himself with a live demo of a palate massage with fragrant, creamy home-made espresso.  When visiting Italy, try a small town espresso bar and order either lungo, correcto, macchiato, ristretto, doppio and drink it standing at the counter while engaging in elaborate conversations with friendly Italian locals.   Never, never, never order Capuccino after 11 am… unless you’re a gringo tourist.  Then, anything goes.  He Won Best Speaker Award.
• TM BeckyJo told us about her unlikely friendship with Ellie, a Dutch-born Holocaust survivor who, through the kindness of angels put in her path, managed to escape death and became a fashion designer for high-end large U.S. retail giants in the Sixties. 

 

As for the evaluations…. 

• TM Jeff was so inspired by TM Paolo that he compared him to his all-time favorite soccer star, Cristiano Ronaldo, an avid espresso drinker himself.  He Won Best Evaluator Award.
• DTM Kip praised TM BeckyJo’s storytelling skills and encouraged her to next time raise the camera so we can see something other than her forehead.

 

TM Marie Toastmastered us smoothly and humorously; TM Aleta General Evaluated us accurately and admiringly; TM Jose timed us, polled us and somehow managed to smile through it all; DTM Kip Tech Evaluated us flawlessly and can’t wait to hightail it to Alaska.   We’ll hold the EarlyBird fort, Kip! 

The Word of the Day was

LOCAVORE, noun

A person who eats only locally-grown produce or food.

Ex.: During mango season, I am definitely a mangovore locavore.

 

See you next week!

 

Ana

Recap Writer

Profound revelations, CRT, Moments of Grace and Possibilities - an inspired morning at Early Birds

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

First-time TopicMaster TM Randolph led us with some profound quotes that generated great responses:

• DTM Kip is convinced it’s all about him…. And then he gets home and he’s told it is NOT all about him.  Secretly, he still believes it, though.
• Returning TM BeckyJo was inspired by a terminally ill fabulous singer to not wait until everything is okay to be happy.  Be happy right here, right now.  She Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM Marie reflected that being in touch with SELF keeps us from being victims of… whatever.  She likes classic fashion instead of fickle fads.
• Guest Matt has a positive mindset as he starts each day which he’s convinced leads to the best outcomes.  Thanks for participating, Matt!
• TM Aleta states that doubt and fear can be defeated.  As Henry Ford said, “If you say you can, you’re right. If you say you can’t, you’re right.” 
• TM Jose reminisced about friends who come into our life for a purpose and fall out when that purpose is accomplished.  Friends or angels? He’s working it out and will keep us posted.

 We had some outstanding speeches today.

• TM Tom recently heard outraged parents in his Alma Mater, Loyola Academy, whose children are being taught CRT – based on his studies,  a program based on fear and aiming to tear down our Founding Documents.  We need to remember we are a nation based on hard work, not biology or ethnicity.   Several of us want to hear more speeches on this very important topic.
• TM Marie wished moments of grace to all of us – those times when we are willing to show up authentically and be present, to ourselves and to our loved ones.  She Won Best Speaker Award.
• DTM Kip asked us to consider the possibilities if we attempt to do one thing new.  Hmmmm…. how about being the Sargeant-at-Arms while TM Jim is out yonder in the Wild, Wild West and he, Kip, is spotting bears and whales in Alaska?  Consider the possibilities….

As far as evaluations….

• TM Chris praised TM Tom for his ever-educational speeches; suggested he position his camera eye level and tell us how his dog really feels about CRT.  She Won Best Evaluator Award.
• TM Jim blew us away with his emulation of “Las Meninas” by Velazquez of TM Marie 3-D  in his evaluator background.  We will miss you and Chris!

 

• TM Joe highly appreciates DTM Kip and his certainly unique way of interpreting the world.  They are both dropping Spanish and picking up a new “Learn German in 30 years and 5 easy lessons” virtual program.

 

The Word of the Day was

BIPARTISAN, adjective

Representing, characterized by or including members from 2 parties or factions.

Ex.: TM BeckyJo is mypartisan.  Husbands are bipartisan – which means their wife is always the right faction.

TM Paolo conducted the meeting smoothly and engagingly. 

Next week we will induct our new slate of officers, you don’t want to miss this bipartisan event.

Link for the recording - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qb2dfCJBhIE

 

The registration for officer training on the 19th is here: https://toastmastersd47.org/cot/

 

See you next week!

 

Ana I.

Recap Writer

Team Players, A Toast to Early Birds, Mr. Olive Oil and a Eulogy - a fabulous Early Bird meeting!

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

Catching us totally off base, TM Marie raised baseball legend David Ross’s points about good teamplayers.  We discovered that…

• TM Randolph stays present and fully engaged by actually listening to his wife.   What a rare and precious gift!
• TM Jose is being a good teamplayer by assisting his attorney non-techie friend to reinstall WhatsApp which is critical for business in Spain.
• TM Joe stated that being a non-blaming problem-solver is the story of his life.  He is drawn to problems like a fly to the light.
• TM Chris stays positive, mainly because she doesn’t use FB too much.  She stated that No Whining Allowed is her motto, as TM Jim cleared his throat…
• I, Ana, build relationships with challenging, combative, cantankerous people by focusing on the commonalities and ignoring the rest.  I Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM Tom explained that he is like a bee – attracted to the honey in flowers, not to vinegar in a salad – and he is fun and approachable himself.

We had some fabulous speeches today…

• Outgoing President TM Jeff gave a beautiful tribute to our EarlyBird club, mentioning each of us by name and listing our individual contributions for the good of the Club.  Where is the wizard?  As a true wizard, he came and went – maybe into the wardrobe? Thank you, Jeff.  You have been a great President!
• Master Chef TM Paolo gave a delicious demonstration of Genie in a Bottle, creating a symphony of flavors and a carnival in the mouth.  It’s called Mr. Olive Oil – and is soon to be available as an intravenous drip to dissolve pesky arterial plaque created by Denny’s Skillets.  He Won Best Speaker Award.
• TM Aleta delivered a heartfelt, emotional and humorous eulogy of a woman who could be called many names but not be called late for dinner. She had many sisters, nieces, nephews, great nieces, great nephews, and lived a good life, leaving others enriched.  In a new career move, Aleta is now Eulogizer For Hire.  Free estimates, moderate prices.

The evaluations….

• TM Tom praised TM Jeff for parceling out a well-crafted toast in a very short time and for his tenure as Prez of our Club.  Jeff served us well during a challenging transition from pre-virtual to virtual reality, and he did it all with a button-down shirt.  Great job, Jeff!  Early Bird Club thanks you!
• DTM Kip loved TM Paolo’s speech which he entitled “The Quest of the Holy Grail” and pointed out that (Mr.) Olive Oil is a male.  By Kip’s  own admission, as a gringo he can’t help but automatically focus on the gender of inanimate objects.
• TM Chris was inspired by TM Aleta’s humorous eulogy which lightened the mood and was chock-full of details in spite of not having personally known the decedent.  She Won Best Evaluator Award.   

The Word of the Day was

NARNIA, noun

Fictitious and magical land

Example: Russian witches sing Ochichornia (Black Eyes) when they fly on their brooms to Narnia to buy a new wardrobe for their pet lions.

Link to the recording - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6BY9bl4xTQ

See you next week!

Ana I.

Recap Writer

Obscure idioms, Women's Zoom Lib, Blockchain and Positivity - a truly hybrid morning at EarlyBirds!

 

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 Thanks to the SALIENT tech acuity of TM Chris, TM Jim and DTM Skillet Kip, we pulled off a successful HYBRID meeting today.  Several members and lots of equipment showed up at our old haunts, Denny’s Back Room, and the rest – wokely said - , is theirstory!   Others of us – near and far – connected from our cozy little black squares.

 TM Tom started us with more obscure idioms….

• TM Carbonprint Carmine has tempered his unkindness when he spots unkindness in others and is a venter who vents his spleen.
• TM Eyes Bigger Than Stomach Aleta is still recovering from a Mexican fiesta of Nachos Grande, pico de gallo, salsa and guac. 
• TM Chris has been sleeplessly going back to the drawing board to cover up EarlyBird election fraud via hybrid polls.
• I, TM Ana, have learned from experience that it’s best to leave things well enough alone instead of trying to convince anyone of anything.
• DTM Kip finds it more interesting to separate the girls from the ladies.   He stays away from the boys and the men, who are usually one and the same.
• TM Marie recalled the 80s Ladies’Nights – you had to try to stay sober to avoid getting off on the wrong foot (on the wrong everything!) She Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM Jeff’s advice is to walk away when others go off half-cocked.  Intoxication is an indication of inevitable confrontation.

 

We enjoyed one virtual speech and two speeches delivered from the lectern today….

• TM Aleta reminded us that anything worth doing is worth overdoing! The Business and Professional Women pulled off a successful virtual Board meeting and are now headed for a virtual Convention next week.   Like Dora The Explorer, they jubilantly shouted “We Did It!”
• TM Chris introduced us to medical blockchain  - a growing list of records, called blocks, that are linked together using cryptography.^[1][2][3][4] Each block contains a cryptographic hash of the previous block, a timestamp, and transaction data (generally represented as a Merkle tree).   I just knew Meghan and Harry were behind this.  Estonians (not to be confused with Aberdonians from Aberdeen) live in a blockchain world.  She Won Best Speaker Award.
• DTM Mary Helen said that because nothing in original in life, we must all positively steal from each other – the trick is to steal from the best!

 

As far as evaluations….

 

• TM Jeff praised TM Aleta for staying on brand – a perfect combo of comedy, wit and substance.  He Won Best Evaluator Award.
• First-time evaluator TM Randolph enjoyed TM Chris’s delivery, good pronunciation and educational speech.  Good job, Randolph!
• TM Jose commended DTM Mary Helen’s playful interactions with both live and virtual audiences and the humor she finds in life’s lessons.

 

The Word of the Day was

 SALIENT, adjective

Most notable, conspicuous

 Ex: the most salient aspect of today’s hybrid meeting is the fact that it merged two parallel universes. 

 Recording the meeting - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCKIRvgt3TY

 See you next week!

 Ana I.

Recap Writer

Phobias, Counterphobias and Other Habits - Just another day at EarlyBirds Toastmasters

Dear Members, Guests and Friends:

 

As TopicMaster, I started us off with some phobias and it soon became confusingly clear that some people have a phobia of the phobia:

 

• TM Jose suffers from a phobia of arachibutyrophobia (the fear of peanut butter) since his basic diet consists of peanut butter and pancakes, backed by heavy doses of statins.
• TM Jim resists ataxophobia (the fear of disorder) – by filing his taxes in a very orderly fashion and he is now on a first-name basis with his IRS auditor.
• TM Paolo has the onset of ephebiphobia (fear of teenagers) which is the #1 phobia worldwide for anyone who is not a teenager.  “Dio me salve!”, he implores of fate and the universe.
• TM Aleta avoids octophobia (fear of figure 8) but suffers from chapodiphobia (fear of octopi) especially in their male human version.  All those arms… with suckers, to boot!
• TM Carmine overcame allodoxaphobia (fear of opinions) by sharing several existential opinions with us within the 2-minute time limit. Open casket or closed casket? It all depends on the state of the teeth.  “A man’s reach is greater than his grasp – or what’s a heaven for?”  But I digress.
• TM Joe fears having to pronounce atychiphobia (fear of failure) which tailspinned us like a wheel within a wheel, never ending or beginning on an ever-spinning reel.  He Won Best Table Topics Award.
• DTM Mary Helen conquered her gamophobia (fear of marriage) by running into a humorous Toastmaster being served Italian wedding soup at a local diner on her wedding day.  Astrology is the name of the game.

 

We had an icebreaker today….

 

• TM Marie guided us through her daily routine which begins promptly at the time most of us retire for the evening.   Centering Prayer has eliminated the jargon from her inner dialogue and her body now actually whispers back to her to please hit the Snooze button.  She Won Best Speaker Award.

 

We then had an evaluation…

 

• TM Pam praised TM Marie for the flow and continuity of her speech and for challenging all of us to send a poll to our bodies and listen to the feedback.  She knows her own body is waiting to hear that she, Pam, will start taking care of it, oh, any day now.  She Won Best Evaluator Award.

 

Zoom Master Report:

 

• TM Paolo, unknowingly suffering from atelophobia (fear of imperfection) praised DTM Kip’s suspenders against the background of the unseen but imagined Jasper, Georgia mountain range and remarked that TM Marie was perfectly well centered to explain Centering Prayer, which could only be topped by wearing a white linen blouse in the pristine tropical beach backdrop.

 

 

The Word of the Day was

 

FLOTILLA, noun

(Mispronounced FLOTILA phonetically – it’s FLOTIYA phonetically)

1. A fleet of ships or boats; 2 or more squadrons of small warships (such as the Dunkirk evacuation, the retaking of the Falkland Islands, or the Mariel boatlift more recently)

2. An indefinitely large number.

 

We conducted our annual Club Elections and after a very intense,  highly competitive campaign, the results are finally in:

 

President – TM Paolo

VP Education – DTM Kip , per secula seculorum

Treasurer – DTM Jim D.

Secretary – TM Tom

VP Membership – DTM Mary Helen

VP Public Relations – TM Chris

Sargeant-at-Arms – TM Randolph

Immediate Past President – TM Jeff

 

Inauguration Ceremony will be held on Thursday, June 24 at 7 am.   The new officers will officially begin their term on July 1.

 

Next week we will have a Hybrid Meeting – DTM Kip, DTM Mary Helen, TM Jim G., TM Chris will be transmitting from the Back Room in our old Denny’s on Powerline and Oakland Park Blvd.  Denny’s has managed to maintain its ambiance throughout this time and is avidly waiting to serve their legendary Skillets.

 

For the rest of us, see you Zoom!  Same login applies.

 

Video link for today’s meeting http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_kNuTetANw

 

Respectfully submitted,

Ana I.

Recap Writer

 

 

 

Captain Grammar, Acceptance and Memories - fun confusion at EarlyBirds

 

Dear Members, Friends and Guests,

 

TM Aleta started us off with popcorn-style eulogies at the funeral of Captain Grammar, lying lifelessly before our very eyes. 

 

• TM Pam reminisced about her favorite hero – Sleeping Beauty, who had to deal with Seven Dwarfs.  All Pam’s granddaughter wants to know is why can’t Granma cook?
• DTM Kip embarked on a dissertation of daily deficiencies as a husband which ultimately took the life of the dearly departed Captain.
• TM Tom pointed out that the Captain called his ex-wives Plaintiffs since he has forgotten all their names.  There’s just too much bourbon in Kentucky.
• TM Jeff is planning his bachelor party in St. Augustine where the Fountain of Youth recently gushes out bourbon.
• TM Jim G. does not imbibe bourbon and is Captain Grammar himself, alive and well.
• DTM Jim D. realized Captain Grammar died because he couldn’t follow Table Topic instructions, moved to Las Vegas and got heavily into debt.  DTM Jim pondered if Captain Grammar was assisted by another in his demise – as he was unable to pay his EarlyBird dues…
• DTM Mary Helen was appalled at the emotionally frozen paid mourners at this wake, and stated that Captain Grammar died because of the current state of the grammar lexicon.   She Won Best Table Topics Award.

 

Along came prepared speeches…

 

• TM Jeff accepted the Presidency of another Club where he wants to emulate a polifacetic member.  He Won Best Speaker Award.
• In a tandem ride, TM Jose and TM Ana took us down their memory lane, back to high school in the ketchup-deficient, Wonderless Bread, ice-cube averse, free-flowing beer tap miniskirt universe that was Madrid in the 60s.

 

Regarding evaluations….

 

• DTM Kip encouraged TM Jeff to rally the troops to support him since they’re a captive audience anyway.
• DTM Mary Helen praised TM Jose’s presentation skills and how they evoked her own shared memories of miniskirts, long haired musicians, drugs and rock & roll.  Tudo Bem, Tudo Bom, as they say in Portuguese.  She Won Best Evaluator Award.
• TM Tom missed the sex part in drugs and rock & roll in today’s speech but is looking forward to enjoying the sprinkles on a chocolate frosted doughnut while listening  to the sequel.

 

 

To add to the confusion, The Word of the Day was

 

LIE

As opposed to LAY, LIED, LAIN

 

Lay is a verb that commonly means “to put or set (something) down.” Lie is a verb that commonly means “to be in or to assume a horizontal position” (or “to make an untrue statement,” but we’ll focus on the first definition). In other words, lay takes a direct object, and lie does not. As for the misconceptions, well, when you look at the two verbs next to each other in different tenses, it becomes a bit more obvious where the confusion is.

 

Example:  We hereby officially declare childhood nursery rhyme “As I lay me down to sleep” and myriads of songs such as  “Lay, Lady, Lay” “As I lay down” FORMALLY CANCELLED.

 

Elections are next week!  You must be present to decline.  Just sayin’…..

 

link to recording:    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VINws3Jxso

 

See you next week!

 

Ana

Recap Writer

Giants Behind Faces, Down Memory Lane and Lots of Spurtles - a fun meeting at Early Birds

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

TM Carmine spurtled our thoughts about skills learned at Toastmasters.  We found out that….

 

• TM Paolo has become a keen observer of vocal variety and nuance, skills that now border on perfect although not always present.
• TM Jeff’s presidential duties have taught him to decipher toddlers’ undecipherable language.
• I, Recap Ana, am not certain about the impact of anything, other than the fact that I have a blast writing zany recaps.
• TM Jonathan, perennial driver,  visits clubs mostly to announce that they have earned Distinguished President’s Award.  We were no exception.
• TM Jose has vastly spurtled his use of crutch words by vividly thinking of us, EarlyBirds, when presenting a work seminar.  He Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM Chris loves being a tech watcher because unlike her professional life audience,  she connects with us at our meetings.
• TM Jim G. embraces technology and likes to stir the pot with a spurtle although he concedes the real spurtle master is Chris.

 

The prepared speeches today provided variety and like a good spurtle, stirred our pot and our senses….

 

• TM Randolph broke out in song (to the tune of This Is A Man’s World by James Brown).   Oh and how true the message is!   He Won Best Speaker Award.
  
  

This is a man's world, this is a man's world
But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl

You see, man made the cars to take us over the road
Man made the train to carry the heavy load
Man made electric light to take us out of the dark
Man made the boat for the water, like Noah made the ark

This is a man's, man's, man's world
But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl

 

• DTM Kip took us down memory lane to the Old Trading Post, where Asian Bistros were allowed to take over those snotty French Cafes in historic Las Olas Boulevard.  In one of them, he married the girl of his dreams – after signing a corporate prenup which has helped the marriage stay strong and has kept those shares intact.

 

As for the evaluations….

 

• TM Marie praised TM Randolph for his speech, with its plethora of information, vocal variety, inspiration and fun facts.  She especially liked the fact that he implemented her suggestions from her first evaluation – a rare occurrence in these instances.    She Won Best Evaluator Award, hands down.
• TM Tom was awed by DTM Kip’s ability to knit together an excellent yarn and he, Tom, got so caught up in his own weave that the cat of Tall Tale fame reappeared and made him lose track of all time.   According to trustworthy sources, he is still evaluating Kip at 9:17 am Eastern Standard Time.

 

Our Toastmaster of the Day, TM Aleta, the woman with many last names,  graciously, good-naturedly and smoothly ran our meeting.   She is one of our group’s Zoom gifts!

 

Tech Watcher TM Jim G. verbally recapped the entire meeting and, without mentioning names,  poignantly reminded the undersigned to get my act together regarding screen sharing.  Awright already….

 

Zoom Watcher TM Barone poetically awarded TM Marie  the Best Zoom Screen Ribbon for her perfectly centered position in a corner angle room with sunrays highlighting her golden tresses and silk blouse.  He also casually alerted the group that TM Randolph’s company prints moolah.  Just sayin’.

 

Timer TM Jose actually hurled a Spanish Spurtle (‘chorro’) across the virtual Atlantic Ocean to those who overstepped their time limits.   It was inadvertently caught by TM Paolo in Italian (“mestolo”, “schizarre”).

 

The Way Overused Word of the Day was

 

SPURTLE, noun

 

A wooden Scottish kitchen tool, dating from the 15^th century, that is used to stir porridge, soups, stews and broths (and to discipline young ‘uns, prior to the Age When Parents Became Afraid Of Their Kids).

 

Recording link - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ge6JMSGmRE

 

Remember:  Group Elections are the last Thursday of May.  Available positions are

President       

VP Education

Secretary

Treasurer

VP Public Relations

VP Marketing

Sargeant-at-Arms

 

Feel free to ask the current officers for more information about the position that interests you.

 

See you next week!

 

Ana

Recap Writer

 

Too Big To Believe - Or Too Great To Ignore - Tall Tales at Early Birds

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

Our Tall Tales started off with…

 

• DTM Kip as The Pied Piper of Las Olas following a beautiful store owner and ending up with a brass rat.
• TM Tom building solid intraspecies relationships in his own private Garden of Eden. Visiting DTM Lois is moving into his back yard!
• I, Ana, recounted the story of Havana’s Gentleman from Paris, who rafted to South Florida and transformed into Barry Gibb.
• TM Aleta theatrically gardened  as Avid Gardner who splashed alcohol down her throat to remove snake toxins in a case of domestic violence while married to Ole Blue Eyes.   She Won Best Speaker Award.
• TM Marie took us in an interplanetary 3D acid trip of dreamers, tossers, turners, skywalkers, moonwalkers and skull collectors – while her hubby and tabby slept peacefully next to her.
• TM Carmine introduced us to all the dead people he knows who have turned him into a voracious reader.  He shoots for the moon and if he misses, he ends up with the stars.

 

And inverting the order of things,  we then had sequential Table Topics, wherein we embarked on a roller coaster ride:

 

• DTM Kip obsessively talked about a ruckus in an Asian Restaurant ….
• TM Chris looked through the window and saw TM Beckyjo in the midst of the ruckus and decided to walk to the (closed for renovation) Floridian, only to notice there were no cars
• TM Paolo wanted to forget about hot air balloons in Arizona and focus get invited to the scrumptious breakfast being prepared for Kip, when he remembered we are on Zoom…
• TM Randolph deep-sixed the hot air balloons going to Spain and instead decided to find out that the Las Olas commotion was because the snakes and the brass rats were eating the cat…
• DTM Lois found a garden snake wrapped around a glistening Brass Rat statue….
• TM Jim G. pondered about finding snakes in gardens, when alligators in The Everglades are overwhelmed by the itty bitty pet snakes turning into swamp reptiles.

 

Evaluations/General Evaluation:  DTM Lois gave incisive individual evaluations with audience participation.  Thank you for visiting us today!

 

Zoom Tech Report:   TM Jim G. is totally captivated by the little square boxes on the screen.  The end.

 

According to Chat Room rumor, TM Pam’s internet was taken hostage by gremlins.  It’s not a Tall Tale!       P.S.  Phone home!!!!

 

The Word of the Day was

 

DEEP SIX, noun

 

To abandon, reject, or otherwise get rid of. This slangy term dates from the mid-1900s and originated in the navy, where it meant throwing something or someone overboard. The “six” refers to the six-foot nautical fathom, the standard unit of measurement for sea depth.

 

Example:  To deep six in the Army is simply unfathomable.

 

Recording can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y94h57HROdc

 

Next week, we’re back to our usual moderate fibbing.

 

Ana

Recap Writer