I started us off with eccentric New Year’s Eve customs. We learned that….
Returning TM Jose will gobble up minuscule seedless skinless grapes to avoid choking at the stroke of midnight, while carrying an empty suitcase around the block to ensure travel is a’plenty in 2022. He Won Best Table Topics Award.
TM Paolo will reinstate the as-of-late waning Italian custom of throwing furniture out the window on New Year’s Eve by disposing of his sectional divano and his gondola, for starters.
Guest Terry’s tenure in a large grocery store makes her follow some eccentric New Year’s Eve customs, especially the South American tradition of wearing red underwear for prosperity.
TM Jim will strictly adhere to the New Year’s Eve belief that cleaning house washes good luck away and with great self-control and sacrifice will refrain from vacuuming those dust bunnies under the bed.
TM BeckyJo will scare evil spirits and omens away by loudly snoring and purring on New Year’s Eve.
TM Lois will play “Dane for a Day” and smash lots of plates on the last night of the year, in direct competition with the Greeks, who specifically abstain on New Year’s Eve.
Then came the prepared speeches…
TM Marie raised our curiosity as to whether we as individuals are amiable drivers or expressive analyzers. One thing became certain: Marie is NOT a neutral gray sweater, by golly! She Won Best Speaker Award.
DTM Kip shared thoughts about effective evaluations and reminded us to avoid speaking from the chair of authority – which Paolo will have hurled out the window in Italy, anyway.
And speaking of evaluations…
TM Jose praised TM Marie’s presentation, preparation and her effective use of the little black box. He would like a Q&A period to ascertain who among us is indeed a neutral gray sweater. Determined to make up for lost time, He Won Best Evaluator Award.
TM Tom liked the rhythm and congruency of DTM Kip’s speech and encouraged him to use more emphasis while being rhythimically congruent.
The Word of the Day was
ASTUTE, adj.
Having an ability to notice and understand things clearly; mentally sharp and clever.
Example: Astute DTM Kip will yet find a way to use his thrice-thwarted Word of the Day, BYZANTINE. It’s his New Year’s Resolution!
TM Jim G. led us in a Solstice Invocation, which marked the way to Solstice-inspired Table Topics by TM Aleta. We thus discovered that…
TM Chris used to play midnight hopscotch growing up with her friends in Alaska, where solstice is known as an oxymoron. She Won Best Table Topics Award.
TM Paolo used to like Florida’s hot, hotter and hottest seasons but after 20 years he now likes it cold, colder, coldest – but balmy indoors.
DTM Kip does his level best to help the sun rise by reveling, partying, carousing and yuletiding – everywhere except in the Mediterranean, where the sun doesn’t need his help.
I, Ana, agree that guests and fish get smelly after a few days. This applies specifically to in-laws, and excludes my dear brother.
TM Marie is convinced that the elf-on-the-shelf is creating a new generation of paranoid humans with delusion of persecution. Her personal Santa Claus does not keep score.
And then came the prepared speeches…
TM Lois told the story of Judah Maccabee, who led the Maccabean Revolt against the Syrians which gave birth to Hannukah, when she and her family have a Secret Maccabee Gift Exchange. Her gifts were heartwarming this year.
TM Jim G. delighted us with an excellent rendition of “A Visit From St Nicholas”, a tradition started by late EarlyBird TM Neil many years ago. He Won Best Speaker Award.
DTM Kip reminded us that in the world of speaking, laughs are gold. Call to action: Consider using a mentor, we don’t know how far we will go.
As far as evaluations…
TM Paolo lauded TM Lois for her passion, enthusiasm and excitement and encouraged her to stand up for her next speech to give us a greater range of vision. He Won Best Evaluator Award.
TM Marie praised TM Jim G., storyteller extraordinaire, for an almost ethereal impersonation of St. Nicholas, including the hearty laugh and the twinkle in the eye.
TM Aleta commended DTM Kip for his speech on mentoring. Kip, mentor of mentors. Motivational speaker par excellence…
The Word of the Day was:
ETHEREAL, adj.
Extremely delicate and light in a way that seems too perfect for this world.
EarlyBirds voted to have another ethereal meeting next week, on the eve of New Year’s Eve.
TM Chris started the morning with Table Topics choices:
TM Tom waxed poetic when choosing mountain or beach vacay …”the reason for the season – to wander thereabouts….”
TM Lois likes choosing personal gifts while gift cards are best for students – and visiting a neighbor during Christmas definitely takes the cake.
TM Carmine chooses bed over lazyboy or couch, as his lazybed is where he does his best thinking, his best reading and, let’s face it, his best lazying.
TM Pam chooses both vegetable and flower garden. Just please get rid of the chemically-induced South Florida lawns which in turn will drive local leaf blower companies out of business. Oh well…. She Won Best Table Topics Award.
TM BeckyJo gave us a handy life formula: comedy = tragedy + time. She binge-watches Frasier, a timeless show with a crazy cast for crazy audiences. To a tee.
We had outstanding prepared speeches today…
TM Paolo’s motivational speech encouraged us to soar like an eagle with vision, focus, fearlessness, training hard and performing extracurricular activities in midair – for the latter, we humans must join the highly unofficial Mile High Club. He Won Best Speaker Award.
TM Aleta courageously delivered a speech about whether to plod like a turtle or race like a rabbit, while dealing with repeated interruptions from a rambunctious audience. In humorous speeches, to pause before the punchline… or… after the punchline? That, my friends - as Billy Shakespeare would say- is the question.
And then came our evaluations…
TM Jim G. praised TM Paolo for his excellent speech delivery and generous hand and body gestures while intently keeping and eagle-like laser-focused eye contact with the camera lens. He Won Best Evaluator Award.
DTM Kip praised TM Aleta for actually delivering a useful speech while effectively managing a bunch of crazies – call them bulls in a china shop or an unruly mob of muppets.
The Word of the Day was:
CELEBRATION, noun
the action of marking one's pleasure at an important event or occasion by engaging in enjoyable, typically social, activity.
"The Empty Nest syndrome actually turned out to be a cause for celebration" – a quote attributed to United Burned Out Parents Of The World, LLC.
This week’s recording can be accessed on this link:
TM Tom started us off with common and uncommon sayings. We thus discovered that…
TM Lois takes the plunge by daily swimming in her multiple heated pools while preparing her Toastmasters’ speeches.
TM Kip no longer has to pull his socks up because to avoid slips and falls he walks barefoot and besides, his clothes dryer has voraciously decoupled all his socks anyway.
TM BeckyJo returned to her birthplace, Hawaii, and to her dismay found that they paved paradise and put up a parking lot (sung to the tune of They Paved Paradise And Put Up a Parking Lot by Counting Crows)
TM Chris revealed candidly that she and her husband live in a menage a trois of only the two of them. He, she and the symbiotic ChrisJim.
Guest Terry relied on the saying better safe than sorry while working at Florida DOT – where sometimes it was sorry better than safe.
TM Aleta confessed that she’s a hugger, a toucher, a feeler, and a smoker, and a joker, and a midnight toker (sung to the tune of The Joker by the Steve Miller band)
I, Ana, like a deer in the headlights, talked about the homeless steer Rudolph the Red Nosed Raindeer heading for a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. I Won Best Table Topics Award.
And along came the prepared speeches…
DTM Kip is trying to get on with the endgame by decluttering stuff, reminiscing of strange people he met in strange lands in need of computer fixes and he now has a keypad lock for the rescue team to access the premises.
TM Chris recited The Cremation of Sam McGee and her journey from icy cold Alaska to sunbathing with baby oil in Florida beaches and making frequent visits to Florida State University’s popular bar called “The Late Night Library”.
I, Ana, aka Chaunceyna Gardner (*see PBS (Post Blog Scriptum) fortuitously became a well-renowned Pioneer of the Blogosphere – without even trying! I Won Best Speaker Award.
As far as evaluations go….
TM Marie praised DTM Kip for his zany interpretation of life as a computer repairman who makes house calls.
DTM Kip enjoyed the poetic opening and closing of TM Chris’ speech and the wooly gear that she donned. He encouraged her to wear a bathing suit for the beach portion next time.
TM Carmine liked my use of language and admired the fact that I’m clueless and here because I’m not all there. He Won Best Evaluator Award.
The very timely Word of the Day was:
FESTIVE, adj.
Indicative of or marked by high spirits or good humor.
And by golly, we used it and lived our festive spirit well today!!!
P.B.S. “Being There” 1979 movie starring Peter Sellers and Shirley McLaine.
Middle-aged, simple-minded Chance lives in the townhouse of a wealthy old man in Washington, D.C. He has spent his whole life tending the garden and has never left the property. Other than gardening, his knowledge is derived entirely from what he sees on television. When his benefactor dies, Chance naively tells the lawyers that he has no claim against the estate and is ordered to move out.
Chance wanders aimlessly, discovering the outside world for the first time. Passing by a TV shop, he sees himself captured by a camera in the shop window. Entranced, he steps backward off the sidewalk and is struck by a chauffeured car owned by elderly business mogul and advisor to the President of the United States, Ben Rand. In the car is Rand's glamorous and much younger wife Eve, who mishears "Chance, the gardener" in reply to the question who he is, as "Chauncey Gardiner". Chauncey is introduced to the Prez, and In a discussion about the economy, Chance takes his cue from the words "stimulate growth" and talks about the changing seasons of the garden. The President misinterprets this as optimistic political advice and quotes “Chauncey Gardiner” in a speech. Chance now rises to national prominence, attends important dinners, develops a close connection with the Soviet ambassador, and appears on a television talk show during which his detailed advice about what a serious gardener should do is misunderstood as his opinion on what would be his presidential policy.
Though he has now risen to the top of Washington society, the Secret Service and some 16 other agencies are unable to find any background information on him. During this time Rand's physician, Dr. Allenby, becomes increasingly suspicious that Chance is not a wise political expert and that the mystery of his identity may have a more mundane explanation. Dr. Allenby considers telling Rand this, but realizing how happy Chance is making him in his final days keeps him silent.
While the President delivers a speech at Rand's funeral, the pallbearers hold a whispered discussion over potential replacements for the President in the next term of office and unanimously agree on Chauncey Gardiner as successor. Oblivious to all this, Chance wanders off through Rand's wintry estate. He straightens out a pine sapling flattened by a fallen branch, then walks across the surface of a lake. He pauses, dips his umbrella deep into the water under his feet, then continues on, while the President is heard quoting Rand: "Life is a state of mind."
TM Marie started our meeting with various aspects of the holiday season. It was revealed to us that….
TM Pam is searching for lost donation checks in 3 homes ago; Dang! Who knew it was soooo hard to give money away! She’s starting in January 2022 to make the “Giving Tuesday” November 2022 date.
Guest Brittany does not partake in “Black Freeedaaaay” (as it is known in Spain) because – like most of us – she avoids “spending money she doesn’t have, buying things she doesn’t need, to impress people she doesn’t even like”!
TM Lois did declare that this is indeed the most wonderful time of the year – she gave her family a magnanimous Thanksgiving speech and was loved right back by them!
Newlywed TM Jeff is adapting to his bride’s new holiday traditions, starting with a very different – nonetheless beautifully simple- Christmas tree, and eliminating sparkly nonsense.
TM Chris and TM Jim deplete greeting card companies’ inventory for TM Jim’s extended family and then omit mailing or hand-delivering the greeting cards. It’s all for the forgetful greeting card giver, presumably.
TM Jim concurred that it is indeed important for greeting card givers who don’t give greeting cards to remember that they must help greeting card manufacturing companies. It’s all about being magnanimous to the greeting card companies’ survival in this Virtual Age Of Thumb and Send.
TM Paolo reminisced about looking for moss, wood and hay to create a natural Nativity scene in the home of his youth. He will do it this year with his own children and build the manger in the wine cellar. He Won Best Table Topics Award.
DTM Jim D.has concocted a Machiavellian plan to have a bucket of water drop on the heads of Porch Pirates, while hoping it’s not a relative showing up unannounced.
TM Aleta conspires and dreams by the fire, hypnotically conjuring up plans for roasting chestnuts and pondering which chainsaw to buy on Black Friday….
And then came the much-awaited Dealing With a Difficult Audience speech by Unflappable Maestro DTM Kip…
Being accosted un-magnanimously by the audience of innate hecklers, DTM Kip kept his cool and insisted that Canadian Parliament reads bills – not once, not twice, but THREE times – in unison before obtaining Royal Assent from the Faraway Queen in Balmoral Castle who is on Direct Dial with the Canadian Governor General, as it’s practically the last remnant of their Old Dominion Commonwealth holdings. Now what they do in Saskatchewan… that’s another story. Hecklers varied from deeming it a humorous speech to repeatedly stating that they were in the wrong meeting. DTM Kip Won Best Speaker Award in an absolute landslide.
As far as the evaluation is concerned….
TM Paolo was fascinated by the amazing exercise of DTM Kip handling a difficult audience and recommended a more composed posture to attempt to control the uncontrollable hecklers and to refrain from conversing with them under any circumstances by keeping his eyes fixed unblinkingly on the camera at all times. Eyedrops before the speech may help. And one might ask, why Canadian Parliamentary Procedure??? In another contested race, TM Paolo Won Best Evaluator Award.
The Word of the Day was
MAGNANIMOUS, adj.
Generous or forgiving, especially toward a rival or less powerful person.
Example: Alliteration King TM Carmine had a field day with synonyms Benevolent, Beneficent and Big-Hearted, and magnanimously urged those who don’t know what Alliteration is to go look it up.
Note from the Recap Writer: Just hang around TM Carmine a little longer and you won’t need to look it up!
