My Way, Hand Gestures and The Proposal - a fun morning at EarlyBirds!

 I, (Ana) introduced Profound Revelations as Table Topics.  Hence we learned that…

 

• TM Marie does have a magical bed where To Do lists get promptly completed… and then she wakes up!
• TM BeckyJo wants to buy a home in Miami formerly owned by a Cocaine Cowboy and find a serious stash of bills buried under a tropical palm tree.   She Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM Aleta thoroughly enjoys being in the best company – herself, and doing something productive -  I can think of knitting a coat out of dog hair?
• TM Paolo confessed that his favorite activity is sitting on a park bench laughing at joggers – as we all know, laugher is healthier than jogging.
• TM Denis suffered a panic attack at the thought of skydiving and instead got stuck in traffic on the way to Toast of Las Olas.
• Guest Lorena compared her life to falling into the same pothole repeatedly and euphemistically called it experience.
• TM Jim G. blames the pandemic for his morning drinking but still manages to keep accurate time at the group.  Hey, it’s five o’clock somewhere, especially with Zoom!

 

We heard some outstanding speeches from the renowned “Jingston Trio”…

 

• TM Jose took us on an amazing visual travelog to The Way (Pilgrimage Route for foodies to the burial site of St. James- aka Santiago).  Sign up for a tour at Jose’s virtual travel agency!  He Won Best Speaker Award.
• TM Joe made a clear distinction of what can be a friendly gesture anywhere and the same, not-so-friendly gesture in NYC.  It’s just a geopolitical zoning thing.
• TM Jeff succumbed to parental and societal pressure and proposed marriage (he calls it pulling the trigger) to his beloved at Ponce de Leon’s Fountain of Youth.  So far it’s working – we all know it’s all about the design of the ring!

 

As far as evaluations go….

 

• TM Carmine was so impressed with TM Jose’s speech that uncharacteristically, he actually ended up his evaluation on time.  The room was speechless!
• TM Tom praised TM Joe for his wit, his eloquence and his screen share of the unforgettable Gina Lollobrigida. 
• TM Chris lauded TM Jeff for making the decision to propose and in so doing, has lightened the load for some of us – who at times do want to pull the trigger… on The Knot!  She Won Best Evaluator Award.

 

The Word of the Day was

 

PANDEMIC, adjective

Epidemic over a large area

 

Ex.  The pandemic has created pandemonium and the idle overuse of Immodium has caused an excess of acrimonium.

 

Here’s the link to the recording:

 

https://www.facebook.com/EarlyBirdToastmaster/videos/3357436951052480

 

See you next week!

 

Ana

Recap Writer

Humorous contest - let's have some fun at EarlyBirds Toastmasters!!

 Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

Our humorous speech contest started off with a rap’s inspirational lines (rapped to the tune of ….. rap)

 

• Everybody lookin' at you crazy (crazy!)
  What you gonna do? (what you gonna do?)
  Lift up your head and keep moving (keep moving)
  Or let the paranoia haunt you (haunt you)?…An attempted break-in at a Denny’s in his youth took TM Jeff, instead, to the Boulevard of Broken Rapper Dreams… He made the local paper’s front lines as the fastest runner East of the Metacomet Range.  He Won Second Place.

 

• TM Aleta fondly reminisced about her Relay for Recovery, where she piggy-backed her little friend Courtney across 3 football fields while dragging a Flintstone-style homemade cardboard box on wheels.   Aleta has singlehandedly supported her chiropractor for decades now.  He’s been spotted lighting  candles for Relay for Recovery.

 

• TM Joe hilariously told us about one of his wacky Sicilian family’s vacation to Canada with huge watermelons flying inside the car every time  his aggressive driver father hit the brakes, Uncle Enrico the exhibitionist traumatizing the kids, his father dumping a banana peel and the car keys into the dark woods.  Joe sold the movie rights to National Lampoon Goes On A Gitto Vacation and the rest is ….literally…. history.    He Won First Prize.
•  
• TM Carmine introduced us to Senator Big Jim Foghorn, an independent thinking Californian with a Southern drawl, who taught us valuable lessons about money, greed and taking bribes from every side.   In other words, your average politician.
•  
• TM Pam is a self-described somewhat woke person, who has discovered that Pinot Grigio couples very nicely with Cheetos while lying on the couch.  It’s also known as seal repair (pothead) while eating a kiwi fruit and learning native New Zealand language.   “A person walks into a bar, another person walks into a bar, a third person ducked.” Get with the joke telling, unwoke people!  She won Third Prize.
•  
• We received the visit of several members of a Toastmasters Club in Southern India.  Virtual technology has removed barriers of distance and time.
•  

Below is the recording for the meeting:

• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luiwdxmCIp0
•  
• See you next week!
•  
• Ana I.
• Recap Writer

Wisdom of the (S)ages, Non-Brutal Communication and Great Relationships, a fun morning at EarlyBirds

 Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

TM Carmine started us off with some wisdom for the (s)ages.  We thus learned that…

 

• TM Aleta was surprised by her rapacious dog Bogart who last night said to her, amid a cloud of cigarette smoke  “We’ll always have Paris”… She brought him to Toastmasters instead.
• I (Ana) confessed that after 39 years of marriage and 4 months of confinement,  it’s best not buy too much Miracle Gro for character defects, they have taken on a life of their own.
• TM Pam almost went the extra State when she missed an exit and instead of Gainesville, almost ended up in Georgia.  How’s a GPS to know the difference between two Gs???
• TM Joe conceded that he doesn’t act his age and gladly so because he doesn’t intend to, either.  He’s determined to continue growing young.
• TM Tom asks himself every day “What the kale is kale?” Here’s the good news, Tom.  You’re not alone - most of us do, too!
• DTM Mary Helen often ponders what her life may have been like had she made different mistakes.  The possibilities are endless.  She was not a good teenager and she does not consider herself a good oldager – so what’s next?  She is already working on a sequel to her unwritten memoirs.
• TM Jeff vehemently refuted the idea that millennials will write history with misspellings and no punctuation.  What is autocorrect for?
• TM Marie revealed that being an adult is realizing that you are Santa Claus. There’s nowhere else to turn.  Christmas is her favorite time of the year although it makes a deep hole in her pocket.   She Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM Jose holds frequent staff meetings with the committee in his head – he calls the meeting to order, he listens, he answers himself. Lately he tries to bounce things off like-minded people who corroborate that he needs to emphasize the adjourning portion of the meetings.

 

 

In the prepared speeches….

 

• TM Joe has worked long and hard on Pathways to discover his communication style – it has now evolved from sarcasm and boredom while listening to others to dry humor and motivational one-liners.  The fashionable  face masks have helped Joe  to suppress yawns without getting noticed.  He Won Most Improved Speaker Award.
• TM Jeff shared his best advice for a successful relationship:  Get a dog that doesn’t shed while dancing the Roomba.   He Won Best Speaker Award.

 

And then came evaluations…

 

• TM Marie commended TM Joe for his clever way of making this Pathways project appealing and fun for the rest of us, thanks to his use of humor and his vivacious Italian hand movements which remind her of her husband. She Won Best Evaluator Award.
• DTM Kip gave a few tips to TM Jeff about making his speech less analytical and more of a kneeslapper with the use of a Furminator, starring a young Arnold Schwarzenegger.

 

The Word of the Day was

 

RAPACIOUS, adjective

1. Having or showing a strong or excessive desire to acquire money or possess things.  Greedy.
2. Living by killing prey, especially in large numbers.
3. Taking things by force; plundering.

 

The meeting recording may be accessed here:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwQXM6VUACM

 

 

See you next week!

 

Ana I.

Recap Writer

Rose Petals, Life Bloopers and Rainbow Safety Codes

 

 

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

TM Jim G. was inspired by June (origin: Juno, the Roman Goddess of Women, who likes roses – especially live ones):

 

• DTM Kip associated the color red to allegedly color-blind bulls in bullfights but mostly reminisced about his faux pas of bringing dead flowers to his beloved, who did not act so belovedly for a while after that. Clueless to the nuances of rose bouquets, he expects female understanding and compassion.  Oh, puhhhleeeze, Kip, cry me a river!
• TM Carmine has bought more flowers to his wife in the past 13 years than he did in his entire previous life of 70 years.  His wife does not hesitate to demand an explanation when he comes back empty handed from a trip to Publix.  “He loves me, he loves me not”….
• DTM Mary Helen is always happy and appreciative to receive flowers and although the color orange represents pride, orange does not become her. However, after doing the pilgrimage The Way, starring Martin Sheen, (El Camino) in Spain, she witnessed the Gay Pride Parade in Madrid and it was definitely an event to remember.
• TM Mildred likened yellow, the color of friendship, to a childhood friend of hers – they have been there for each other in good times and bad, they talk to each other every day, and this friendship has lasted for 69 years, and still going strong!!
• I, TM Ana, issued  many judgments about opulence (symbolized by the color purple)  and concluded that being Nouveau Riche is far better than being Old Poor.  I Won Best Table Topics Award. Since I was also Vote Counter, many in the audience demanded a recount.  Luckily, in Zoom we don’t have to deal with hanging chads…  Pfiuuuuu….

 

Along came the prepared speeches….

 

• TM Joe delighted us with a humorous speech called “My Life’s Blooper Reel” – which started off with what could have aptly been named “My Cousin Vinnie (and Vic)” relating to a morbid fascination the cousins had to learn where toilet contents end up. More recently, his proclivity for bloopers took him to wear cowboy boots on the NYC subway after a downpour.    Guess how that one ended….   He Won Most Improved Speaker Award.
• TM Marie practiced a speech about Parks and Recreation Safety and Security and reminded us that Awareness + Action = Prevention in the face of summer camp.  She took us down a rainbow patch labyrinth of Safety Codes – oh how we miss the good ole days of hiding under your desk to avoid nuclear fallout! She Won Best Speaker Award.

 

As for evaluations….

 

• TM Chris praised TM Joe’s humorous speech which had us all in stitches (no pun intended) and asked him to deliver his next speech sitting on a wrought iron chair with spikes on the seat back to avoid a look of comfty familiarity such as the one he displayed today.   
• TM Tom highlighted TM Marie’s comprehensive, all-inclusive Safety and Security speech which left no color code unturned.  He suggested she toss the notes for the real speech to maintain a steady, laser-like eye contact with her already terrified audience.  It always works.  He Won Best Evaluator Award.

 

The Word of the Day was

 

GEST

1. A tale of adventures, especially a romance in verse.
2. Adventure, exploit

 

Register for free to the TM Zoom Conference this weekend and watch expert storyteller DTM Kip talk about the Elements of Storytelling on Friday at 4 pm.  Look for his email. Zoom audience capacity has been enlarged to 1000, so you can still squeeze in.

 

Below is today’s recording.  Thank you as always to our tech gurus, Jim and Chris.  Without their generous help and expertise, most of this would not be possible.

 

YouTube Video Recording https://youtu.be/di-jjuhKsno

https://youtu.be/di-jjuhKsno

 

 

See you next week!

 

Ana

Recap Writer

A Morning of Exaggeration, Embellishment and Outright Lies: Early Bird Tall Tales At Its Best

 

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,



We dispensed with Table Topics and got right down to Tall Tales. And we learned that….

• DTM Kip is a time-proven meanderer of rural prairies with lonely bulls and no, if you’re thinking this was Spain, you guessed wrong. The setting was none other than manicured landscaped Boca Raton, Florida near an ALF.
• TM Joe had us in stitches with his family summer trip to Canada when he was 14 years old when Sicilian tempers, dropped down pants, mosquitoes feasting on old Uncles’ butts and seeing things that could never be unseen. It’s certainly “a mad, mad, mad world!”
• At the not-so-gentle insistence of his wife, TM Carmine has drank Lysol repeatedly during the pandemic but so far it hasn’t killed him, although he’s squeeky clean inside. His wife has not given up. Stay tuned.
• I told a story of love and betrayal, starring a Cuban couple with very long names, lots of Cuban food, Santeria, infidelity and a happy ending with impotence caused by a Tofu overdose. More will be revealed.
• DTM Mary Helen told us of the difference between her – good natured, sweet, innocent – and her evil identical twin Maureen – excitable, wicked, twisted – who is actually the one who attends EarlyBirds in her stead.
• DTM Jim D. told us about one of his flights on Aeroflot, a Russian version of a Cartagena de Indias bus with chickens and supplemented by lots of free-floating vodka, consumed mostly by the pilot.
• TM Aleta is a consummate repurposer and recycler, using her lab retriever’s hair to spin a yarn and show off a Lab Retriever coat which she uses to light up her home made lint fire starters in those cold Pennsylvania winters.
• TM Tom told us about the Taming of the Crew – his 4 children- during a vacation by car to visit Grandma up north. They barely survived the anarchic fighting and Tom’s wife started him on a Tofu diet ipso facto.

TM Jim G. kept us on time and gave a great general evaluation of the meeting. We had a number of returning EarlyBirds and guests who said they will come back.



The Word of the Day was EXAGGERATE, which needs no further explanation. Lies, lies and more lies.



Below is the link to the recording of the meeting in YouTube.



https://youtu.be/BmrK4TvU5lg



See you next week!



Virtually yours,



Ana

Sargeant-at-Arms