I started us off with eccentric New Year’s Eve customs. We learned that….
Returning TM Jose will gobble up minuscule seedless skinless grapes to avoid choking at the stroke of midnight, while carrying an empty suitcase around the block to ensure travel is a’plenty in 2022. He Won Best Table Topics Award.
TM Paolo will reinstate the as-of-late waning Italian custom of throwing furniture out the window on New Year’s Eve by disposing of his sectional divano and his gondola, for starters.
Guest Terry’s tenure in a large grocery store makes her follow some eccentric New Year’s Eve customs, especially the South American tradition of wearing red underwear for prosperity.
TM Jim will strictly adhere to the New Year’s Eve belief that cleaning house washes good luck away and with great self-control and sacrifice will refrain from vacuuming those dust bunnies under the bed.
TM BeckyJo will scare evil spirits and omens away by loudly snoring and purring on New Year’s Eve.
TM Lois will play “Dane for a Day” and smash lots of plates on the last night of the year, in direct competition with the Greeks, who specifically abstain on New Year’s Eve.
Then came the prepared speeches…
TM Marie raised our curiosity as to whether we as individuals are amiable drivers or expressive analyzers. One thing became certain: Marie is NOT a neutral gray sweater, by golly! She Won Best Speaker Award.
DTM Kip shared thoughts about effective evaluations and reminded us to avoid speaking from the chair of authority – which Paolo will have hurled out the window in Italy, anyway.
And speaking of evaluations…
TM Jose praised TM Marie’s presentation, preparation and her effective use of the little black box. He would like a Q&A period to ascertain who among us is indeed a neutral gray sweater. Determined to make up for lost time, He Won Best Evaluator Award.
TM Tom liked the rhythm and congruency of DTM Kip’s speech and encouraged him to use more emphasis while being rhythimically congruent.
The Word of the Day was
ASTUTE, adj.
Having an ability to notice and understand things clearly; mentally sharp and clever.
Example: Astute DTM Kip will yet find a way to use his thrice-thwarted Word of the Day, BYZANTINE. It’s his New Year’s Resolution!
TM Jim G. led us in a Solstice Invocation, which marked the way to Solstice-inspired Table Topics by TM Aleta. We thus discovered that…
TM Chris used to play midnight hopscotch growing up with her friends in Alaska, where solstice is known as an oxymoron. She Won Best Table Topics Award.
TM Paolo used to like Florida’s hot, hotter and hottest seasons but after 20 years he now likes it cold, colder, coldest – but balmy indoors.
DTM Kip does his level best to help the sun rise by reveling, partying, carousing and yuletiding – everywhere except in the Mediterranean, where the sun doesn’t need his help.
I, Ana, agree that guests and fish get smelly after a few days. This applies specifically to in-laws, and excludes my dear brother.
TM Marie is convinced that the elf-on-the-shelf is creating a new generation of paranoid humans with delusion of persecution. Her personal Santa Claus does not keep score.
And then came the prepared speeches…
TM Lois told the story of Judah Maccabee, who led the Maccabean Revolt against the Syrians which gave birth to Hannukah, when she and her family have a Secret Maccabee Gift Exchange. Her gifts were heartwarming this year.
TM Jim G. delighted us with an excellent rendition of “A Visit From St Nicholas”, a tradition started by late EarlyBird TM Neil many years ago. He Won Best Speaker Award.
DTM Kip reminded us that in the world of speaking, laughs are gold. Call to action: Consider using a mentor, we don’t know how far we will go.
As far as evaluations…
TM Paolo lauded TM Lois for her passion, enthusiasm and excitement and encouraged her to stand up for her next speech to give us a greater range of vision. He Won Best Evaluator Award.
TM Marie praised TM Jim G., storyteller extraordinaire, for an almost ethereal impersonation of St. Nicholas, including the hearty laugh and the twinkle in the eye.
TM Aleta commended DTM Kip for his speech on mentoring. Kip, mentor of mentors. Motivational speaker par excellence…
The Word of the Day was:
ETHEREAL, adj.
Extremely delicate and light in a way that seems too perfect for this world.
EarlyBirds voted to have another ethereal meeting next week, on the eve of New Year’s Eve.
TM Chris started the morning with Table Topics choices:
TM Tom waxed poetic when choosing mountain or beach vacay …”the reason for the season – to wander thereabouts….”
TM Lois likes choosing personal gifts while gift cards are best for students – and visiting a neighbor during Christmas definitely takes the cake.
TM Carmine chooses bed over lazyboy or couch, as his lazybed is where he does his best thinking, his best reading and, let’s face it, his best lazying.
TM Pam chooses both vegetable and flower garden. Just please get rid of the chemically-induced South Florida lawns which in turn will drive local leaf blower companies out of business. Oh well…. She Won Best Table Topics Award.
TM BeckyJo gave us a handy life formula: comedy = tragedy + time. She binge-watches Frasier, a timeless show with a crazy cast for crazy audiences. To a tee.
We had outstanding prepared speeches today…
TM Paolo’s motivational speech encouraged us to soar like an eagle with vision, focus, fearlessness, training hard and performing extracurricular activities in midair – for the latter, we humans must join the highly unofficial Mile High Club. He Won Best Speaker Award.
TM Aleta courageously delivered a speech about whether to plod like a turtle or race like a rabbit, while dealing with repeated interruptions from a rambunctious audience. In humorous speeches, to pause before the punchline… or… after the punchline? That, my friends - as Billy Shakespeare would say- is the question.
And then came our evaluations…
TM Jim G. praised TM Paolo for his excellent speech delivery and generous hand and body gestures while intently keeping and eagle-like laser-focused eye contact with the camera lens. He Won Best Evaluator Award.
DTM Kip praised TM Aleta for actually delivering a useful speech while effectively managing a bunch of crazies – call them bulls in a china shop or an unruly mob of muppets.
The Word of the Day was:
CELEBRATION, noun
the action of marking one's pleasure at an important event or occasion by engaging in enjoyable, typically social, activity.
"The Empty Nest syndrome actually turned out to be a cause for celebration" – a quote attributed to United Burned Out Parents Of The World, LLC.
This week’s recording can be accessed on this link:
TM Tom started us off with common and uncommon sayings. We thus discovered that…
TM Lois takes the plunge by daily swimming in her multiple heated pools while preparing her Toastmasters’ speeches.
TM Kip no longer has to pull his socks up because to avoid slips and falls he walks barefoot and besides, his clothes dryer has voraciously decoupled all his socks anyway.
TM BeckyJo returned to her birthplace, Hawaii, and to her dismay found that they paved paradise and put up a parking lot (sung to the tune of They Paved Paradise And Put Up a Parking Lot by Counting Crows)
TM Chris revealed candidly that she and her husband live in a menage a trois of only the two of them. He, she and the symbiotic ChrisJim.
Guest Terry relied on the saying better safe than sorry while working at Florida DOT – where sometimes it was sorry better than safe.
TM Aleta confessed that she’s a hugger, a toucher, a feeler, and a smoker, and a joker, and a midnight toker (sung to the tune of The Joker by the Steve Miller band)
I, Ana, like a deer in the headlights, talked about the homeless steer Rudolph the Red Nosed Raindeer heading for a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. I Won Best Table Topics Award.
And along came the prepared speeches…
DTM Kip is trying to get on with the endgame by decluttering stuff, reminiscing of strange people he met in strange lands in need of computer fixes and he now has a keypad lock for the rescue team to access the premises.
TM Chris recited The Cremation of Sam McGee and her journey from icy cold Alaska to sunbathing with baby oil in Florida beaches and making frequent visits to Florida State University’s popular bar called “The Late Night Library”.
I, Ana, aka Chaunceyna Gardner (*see PBS (Post Blog Scriptum) fortuitously became a well-renowned Pioneer of the Blogosphere – without even trying! I Won Best Speaker Award.
As far as evaluations go….
TM Marie praised DTM Kip for his zany interpretation of life as a computer repairman who makes house calls.
DTM Kip enjoyed the poetic opening and closing of TM Chris’ speech and the wooly gear that she donned. He encouraged her to wear a bathing suit for the beach portion next time.
TM Carmine liked my use of language and admired the fact that I’m clueless and here because I’m not all there. He Won Best Evaluator Award.
The very timely Word of the Day was:
FESTIVE, adj.
Indicative of or marked by high spirits or good humor.
And by golly, we used it and lived our festive spirit well today!!!
P.B.S. “Being There” 1979 movie starring Peter Sellers and Shirley McLaine.
Middle-aged, simple-minded Chance lives in the townhouse of a wealthy old man in Washington, D.C. He has spent his whole life tending the garden and has never left the property. Other than gardening, his knowledge is derived entirely from what he sees on television. When his benefactor dies, Chance naively tells the lawyers that he has no claim against the estate and is ordered to move out.
Chance wanders aimlessly, discovering the outside world for the first time. Passing by a TV shop, he sees himself captured by a camera in the shop window. Entranced, he steps backward off the sidewalk and is struck by a chauffeured car owned by elderly business mogul and advisor to the President of the United States, Ben Rand. In the car is Rand's glamorous and much younger wife Eve, who mishears "Chance, the gardener" in reply to the question who he is, as "Chauncey Gardiner". Chauncey is introduced to the Prez, and In a discussion about the economy, Chance takes his cue from the words "stimulate growth" and talks about the changing seasons of the garden. The President misinterprets this as optimistic political advice and quotes “Chauncey Gardiner” in a speech. Chance now rises to national prominence, attends important dinners, develops a close connection with the Soviet ambassador, and appears on a television talk show during which his detailed advice about what a serious gardener should do is misunderstood as his opinion on what would be his presidential policy.
Though he has now risen to the top of Washington society, the Secret Service and some 16 other agencies are unable to find any background information on him. During this time Rand's physician, Dr. Allenby, becomes increasingly suspicious that Chance is not a wise political expert and that the mystery of his identity may have a more mundane explanation. Dr. Allenby considers telling Rand this, but realizing how happy Chance is making him in his final days keeps him silent.
While the President delivers a speech at Rand's funeral, the pallbearers hold a whispered discussion over potential replacements for the President in the next term of office and unanimously agree on Chauncey Gardiner as successor. Oblivious to all this, Chance wanders off through Rand's wintry estate. He straightens out a pine sapling flattened by a fallen branch, then walks across the surface of a lake. He pauses, dips his umbrella deep into the water under his feet, then continues on, while the President is heard quoting Rand: "Life is a state of mind."
TM Marie started our meeting with various aspects of the holiday season. It was revealed to us that….
TM Pam is searching for lost donation checks in 3 homes ago; Dang! Who knew it was soooo hard to give money away! She’s starting in January 2022 to make the “Giving Tuesday” November 2022 date.
Guest Brittany does not partake in “Black Freeedaaaay” (as it is known in Spain) because – like most of us – she avoids “spending money she doesn’t have, buying things she doesn’t need, to impress people she doesn’t even like”!
TM Lois did declare that this is indeed the most wonderful time of the year – she gave her family a magnanimous Thanksgiving speech and was loved right back by them!
Newlywed TM Jeff is adapting to his bride’s new holiday traditions, starting with a very different – nonetheless beautifully simple- Christmas tree, and eliminating sparkly nonsense.
TM Chris and TM Jim deplete greeting card companies’ inventory for TM Jim’s extended family and then omit mailing or hand-delivering the greeting cards. It’s all for the forgetful greeting card giver, presumably.
TM Jim concurred that it is indeed important for greeting card givers who don’t give greeting cards to remember that they must help greeting card manufacturing companies. It’s all about being magnanimous to the greeting card companies’ survival in this Virtual Age Of Thumb and Send.
TM Paolo reminisced about looking for moss, wood and hay to create a natural Nativity scene in the home of his youth. He will do it this year with his own children and build the manger in the wine cellar. He Won Best Table Topics Award.
DTM Jim D.has concocted a Machiavellian plan to have a bucket of water drop on the heads of Porch Pirates, while hoping it’s not a relative showing up unannounced.
TM Aleta conspires and dreams by the fire, hypnotically conjuring up plans for roasting chestnuts and pondering which chainsaw to buy on Black Friday….
And then came the much-awaited Dealing With a Difficult Audience speech by Unflappable Maestro DTM Kip…
Being accosted un-magnanimously by the audience of innate hecklers, DTM Kip kept his cool and insisted that Canadian Parliament reads bills – not once, not twice, but THREE times – in unison before obtaining Royal Assent from the Faraway Queen in Balmoral Castle who is on Direct Dial with the Canadian Governor General, as it’s practically the last remnant of their Old Dominion Commonwealth holdings. Now what they do in Saskatchewan… that’s another story. Hecklers varied from deeming it a humorous speech to repeatedly stating that they were in the wrong meeting. DTM Kip Won Best Speaker Award in an absolute landslide.
As far as the evaluation is concerned….
TM Paolo was fascinated by the amazing exercise of DTM Kip handling a difficult audience and recommended a more composed posture to attempt to control the uncontrollable hecklers and to refrain from conversing with them under any circumstances by keeping his eyes fixed unblinkingly on the camera at all times. Eyedrops before the speech may help. And one might ask, why Canadian Parliamentary Procedure??? In another contested race, TM Paolo Won Best Evaluator Award.
The Word of the Day was
MAGNANIMOUS, adj.
Generous or forgiving, especially toward a rival or less powerful person.
Example: Alliteration King TM Carmine had a field day with synonyms Benevolent, Beneficent and Big-Hearted, and magnanimously urged those who don’t know what Alliteration is to go look it up.
Note from the Recap Writer: Just hang around TM Carmine a little longer and you won’t need to look it up!
After inducting our newest member, TM Julie, I started us off on a journey of November commemorations. We learned that….
TM Jim G. is not into football that much but he somehow manages to smuggle spicy guac in his otherwise spicy-free environs.
TM BeckyJo has a definite proclivity to get herself into pickles without even trying. She is now getting a whole new landscape. She Won Best Table Topics Award.
TM Julie is defined by the sandwiches she eats but does not really care what goes in them – all the while she’s busy at the roulette.
TM Lois is happy that we still have that remnant of olden times, “Young Readers’ Day”, and the hardest thing she ever has to do is find a book for a young ‘un.
As far as prepared speeches go….
TM Chris took us on RV Debris – The Sequel and artfully combined magnificent panoramic views with the Only-One-Person-Fits Kitchen, where she cooked more than the rest of her life combined. Go figure. Size really doesn’t matter! She Won Best Speaker Award.
TM Aleta explained her Western Pennsylvania home winterizing where she uses a chainsaw to amputate words frozen in midair and prefers cold air leaks to Florida temperature, humidity and average age in the 80s (Fahrenheit).
We had some great evaluations…
TM Marie praised TM Chris for incorporating in her speech heartwarming daily RV life minutae with the magnificence of the Canadian rear view of Mount Rushmore.
TM Tom concluded that TM Aleta could never be a politician because she actually responds to audience questions with logical relevant answers. He Won Best Evaluator Award.
The Word of the Day was
PROCLIVITY, noun
Natural disposition or tendency
For example: EarlyBirds Club has a proclivity to be chuck-full of humorous members.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
See you in 2 weeks. Kip has hoarded 2 speaking slots for that day. We’re looking for hecklers!
TM Carmine started us off with some foreign proverbs. We thus learned that….
Guest Brittany’s ego got bruised by the flexuous tree that got axed. She’d rather be a potato!
TM Julie learned the hard way that you can’t count your chickens before the next-door predators snatch them before they hatch. She Won Best Table Topics Award.
TM Randolph got caught in a self-imposed flexuous loop of quickly slowly hastening delaying postponing impulsivity that created a collective dizzy spell.
TM BeckyJo talked about The Italian Game, one of the oldest Chess openings. Dating back to the the fifteenth century, the move was started by Italian players such as Damiano and Greco, hence its name ! ... As a consequence, a lot of lines in the Italian Games are made possible by this pressure on f7. The King and the Pawn (ie all of us) end up in the dust at the end, Italian or not.
I, Ana, fondly reminisced about being a mouse with my teenaged daughters and throwing pool parties while The Cat (aka Hubby/Dad) was away on business.
In the prepared speeches…
TM Lois talked about a special Thanksgiving started by the Pequot natives, who planted corn, squash and beans, nuts and fruits. For the main course, they shot deer, turkeys, and small game. Thus, they designed the Thanksgiving menu back in 1621. They invited the settlers who brought the marshmallows.
TM Julie pointed out that every time we engage in conversation, we’re really in negotiation mode. Is it a game table? Or a garage sale table? Or the dinner table? In the latter, it’s best to be collaborative if you want to save your marriage and eat dinner in peace.
TM Marie practiced follow the leader behavior until her parents told her to stay away from bridges. She is now reading Benedict’s Rule, which clearly states that to be worth following, you must drink Benedictine, a secret elixir / herbal liqueur produced in France by Benedictine monks while meditating. It’s flavored with twenty-seven flowers, berries, herbs, roots, and spices – great for digestion! She Won Best Speaker Award.
As far as evaluations….
TM Paolo praised TM Lois for following prior suggestions, accurately positioning the lights and reading the notes in a flexous manner while preparing her Thanksgiving feast. He Won Best Evaluator Award.
TM Pam admired TM Julie’s neutral and nondistracting background and her good use of hands – a virtually elusive art for most of us – and suggested she pick one negotiation table for specificity, instead of depicting The History Of The World in one single poster.
DTM Kip pointed out that TM Marie made a big flexuous splash at the end of her speech and encouraged her to buy Teleprompter Pro. I bought one on his recommendation, too. Question to ponder at this point: Is Kip on their payroll? Hmmmm…..
The Word of the Day was
FLEXUOUS, adj
Having curves, turns or windings
Lithe or fluid in action or movement
Ex: If only they had been Toastmasters, The Beatles could have titled their song “The Long and Flexuous Road”….
We did not falter in the face of a morphing schedule, and I, Ana, started us off with some definitely twisted cliches….
TM BeckyJo revealed that she's had some serious dreamy time warps and likes to access EarlyBirds from the comfort of her natural habitat.
TM Aleta does not look gift unicorns in the mouth because their long protruding horn could cause irreparable indentations.
TM Lois compared the souffle crumbles to an unfaltering resolve to approach every day crumble-free.
TM Randolph urged everyone to let the confetti fall where it may, much like he does!
Guest Brittany has great fun engaging in worldwide zoomeranging.
TM Jim reminded us that after all, love is a battle between privates and corporals.
TM Carmine rejoiced in not faltering to jiffy his way through life, in spite of shrinking parts. He Won Best Table Topics Award.
We had 2 excellent prepared and unprepared speeches….
TM Pam foresees the macabre day when the State of Florida (aka Heaven's waiting room) will renew her driver's license at age 102.
In unprepared topics, DTM Kip pictured himself as an anchovy schooling in a can and the Communist plot to revise the Coca Cola recipe which led him to Pepsi. He Won Best Speaker Award.
As far as evaluations go….
TM Aleta praised TM Pam's ability to learn new tricks and her very clearly disdainful facial gestures as she recalls the motto: no vax, no visit, no brainer. She just got her 5th booster.
TM Chris praised DTM Kip's outstanding ability to be prepared to be funny and unprepared. It's all about eating the pizza slice pointing at him. She Won Best Evaluator Award.
The Word of the Day was
FALTER, noun and verb
V: walk, talk unsteadily
N: the act of pausing uncertainly
Ex. When faced with smooth sailing, do not falter! Turn the boat engines on…. (Huh?? Whatever)
To mark the start of a FUN Halloween meeting, tuxedoed and top-hatted Amazing TM Aleta launched us with very a propos topics. We discovered that….
TM Marie’s black cats – Puma, Suma and Sammy Miami – are very friendly and bring her good luck, although their noses and their warts protrude at night and they sleep freakingly close to the broom closet…. Just sayin….
TM Jose plans to take flowers and clean the tomb of departed loved ones and then join millions of Madrid residents in a tumultuously horrendous traffic caravan straight to the nearest beach. It beats picnicking in a Mexican graveyard! He Won Best Table Topics Award.
TM BeckyJo positively thinks stealing candy from a trick-or-treater bag is the crime of all crimes. BeckyJo’s own mother stole candy from her bag when she was 8 years old and BeckyJo is still in therapy to this day.
TM Chris highly doubts she will meet a vampire or a werewolf because she, Chris, turns into a pumpkin at 7 pm and dreams about the headless horse in The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.
TM Jeff is declining the offer of a high salary paid by now-hiring Ghostbusters, Inc. because he’s got too much going on right now getting married and whatnot.
TM Paolo dearly misses his young daughters’ mischievous trick-or-treating in their outgrown Halloween costumes and will be a candy-hoarding Gondoliere trick-or-treater on All Hallows’ Eve.
We then proceeded to prepared speeches….
TM Lois donned a feather mask and, party girl extraordinaire, told us of her memorable costume party where her younger brother exercised his lifelong role as party crasher.
I, Ana, also donned the same feather mask (Party City special) and took the group on an otherworldy magic carpet ride of weird, weirder and weirdest superstitions.
TM Jim G. looked the part in a maddeningly horrendous 18th century night cap and delivered his extraordinary rendition of The Raven. He Won Best Speaker Award.
As far as evaluations….
TM Paolo loved TM Lois’s speech and is definitely counting on being invited to her next party. Otherwise he’ll crash it.
DTM Kip liked my speech, word usage and my quick recovery from note-fumbling. He seriously encourages me to buy a White House-style teleprompter (currently a Best Buy special).
TM Marie praised TM Jim G.’s delivery of the heart-wrenching story from love to madness, avoiding Raven singsong and making good use of a hoodie. She Won Best Evaluator Award.
The Word of the Day was
HORRENDOUS, adj.
Shockingly dreadful
Ex.: Horrendous is a catchy word – everyone used it multiple times during the meeting today.
Thank you, Kip, for taking on multiple roles – General Evaluator, Evaluator, Timer. You are truly an inspiration to our group.
TM Pam started us off with great quotes that inspired us….
TM Lois dreamily conjured up devoted visions of Gregory Peck, whose memory opens doors in her faithful heart.
TM Tom revealed that improving with age is not gender-specific and his own mother was the best example. He Won Best Table Topics Award.
TM Aleta’s all-time favorite is Lucille Ball, whose formula for old age was honesty – except about her own age. TM Aleta diverges from this theory by revealing her true age.
TM Paolo agrees that it takes courage to grow up to become who you really are – recently demonstrated by his family’s major decision to partially relocate across the pond.
TM Marie feels pure unmitigated terror that her crazy high school classmates are now running the country. She rests her case.
TM Carmine agrees that old age and treachery beats youth and exuberance while he’s challenged to correct his weekly calendar to the right day.
TM Jim G. fully concurs with Einstein’s theory that human stupidity is infinite and thinks Al should have better managed his uncoiffed hair, but then, it’s all relative.
DTM Mary Helen thinks the bastion of education is New Hampshire, closely followed by Massachusetts. At least they know where New Mexico is!
Along came our prepared speeches…
I, Ana, reminisced descriptively about the cigar cabal. From the onset, the industry was an Equal Opportunity Employer (see attached pictures of he/she cigar rollers). It was just not COED.
TM Chris shared tales from the road as RV Debris, never Trailer Trash. The audience clamored for a Part II, Part III and Part IV. She Won Best Speaker Award.
DTM Kip pushed Pathways with a detailed presentation that reminds us, again, that we don’t need to consider it the doldrums, just choose one of 11 paths and move on.
Lastly, the evaluations…
DTM Kip enjoyed my speech and suggested I strategically position my notes so my eyeballs don’t bounce up and down – it’s quite distracting. He Won Best Evaluator Award.
TM Tom called TM Chris’s speech whimsical, delightful, entertaining and wants to know more about how they enjoy the outdoors while making scrambled eggs in a moving vehicle.
TM Carmine congratulated DTM Kip for his comprehensive presentation and pondered how he makes it sound so easy. He encouraged DTM Kip to engage in thunderous speech finales.
The Word of the Day was
CABAL, noun
A group secretly united in a plot.
Example: Our children form a most potent cabal against the parentals.
Welcome back, Gondoliere Paolo, we look forward to you representing our Club at the next contest level!!
I, Ana I., started the morning with comedian quotes:
TM Lois is impatiently trying to slow down, a surefire way to achieve fast-acting relief – much like Dalka Peltzer.
TM Carmine concluded in no uncertain terms that Elvis Pelvis will not be remembered in 100 years – while several in the meeting reported Pelvis sightings as Carmine spoke.
TM Jeff had a near-meltdown while pondering on the incongruity of the misnomer rush hour.
TM Chris reflected on her Book of Morning Meditation, The Jokes of Tao, and officially agreed not to pet sweaty stuff anymore.
TM Marie admired the inherent quality of siblinghood’s life mission – to push buttons and annoy for a lifetime. She Won Best Table Topics Award.
TM Jose is grateful not to live in northern neighborhoods where 22 hours of darkness are spent drinking and eating salmon. He much prefers eating tapas and drinking vino in 10 hours of light a day!
DTM Kip compared North Carolinians, where he’s currently vacationing, to truck-driving rats. He unequivocally stated they are indigenous to the area.
And then we heard prepared speeches…
In a move that was clear as mud, TM Aleta divided her speech into 2 parts and went rogue on the first segment. In the second segment, she avoided giving a sermonette, although she did quote humorous scripture which raised the endorphin levels of the crowd.
TM Jim described the initially somewhat bumpy road from Denise’s to Zoomland and takes full credit for how we Early Birds have Zoomeranged. He Won Best Speaker Award.
Lastly came the evaluations…
TM Tom praised TM Aleta’s vitality, enthusiasm, engaging talents, great sense of humor and was recently spotted signing up for Aleta’s Unconditional Fan Club.
DTM Kip enjoyed TM Jim’s tale, “The Saga of EarlyBird’s Person-to-Zoom Transition” and has formally applied for the movie rights. He Won Best Evaluator Award.
The Word of the Day was
INDIGENOUS, adj.
Living or occurring natively in a particular region or environment.
Relating to the earliest known inhabitants of a place, and especially of a place colonized by the now dominant group.
Opposing Cristoforo Colombo, Cristobal Colon, Christopher Columbus – who sailed west to go east, didn’t know where he had landed, but somehow managed to get financed -twice- by a woman, known familiarly as Isa.
TM Tom exacerbated the duplicitous confusion of some of us ESLrs (English-as-a-Second-Language) with some unusual idioms.
For example…
TM Lois is convinced that the right stuff consists of being a motivational speaker. Period. Fullstop.
TM Paolo was able to duplicitously ramble on about going for the brass ring because he only actually heard the ring, not the brass.
DTM Kip made hay by burning money annually while working for the government as their motto is ‘use it or lose it’ (mostly abuse it).
I, Ana, complained that modern parents make children picky eaters who eat neither fish nor fowl, only chicken fingers and greasy pizzas.
TM Jim G. stays away from flat-footed projects and is as quick as a marsupial. He Won Best Table Topics Award.
We had fabulous prepared speeches…
TM Jose took us on a visual tour of Marrakesh, its tastes, smells, sounds. “Take Me To The Kasbah”, courtesy of cheap Ryan Air, where you practically fly standing and pray while facing Mecca that the plane doesn’t land on top of the Minaret!
TM Pam revealed to us, the unsuspecting audience, that our beloved Ferris Wheels were invented in the Chicago 1893 World’s Fair (held in the Midway section of town which is now merely an airport), along with the Pledge of Allegiance (now slightly adulterated) and the explorer formerly known as Christopher Columbus (now wokely commemorated as Native American Day). Duplicitous, duplicitous, duplicitous is the present!
Guest TM Julie took us over the hoops and hurdles of virtual technology in a speech chock-full of non-duplicitous tips and tricks. The key to success is audio, audio, audio… and wearing a sweaty headband. She Won Best Speaker Award.
As far as evaluations….
DTM Kip praised Jose’s charming eye contact, ease and comfort of speech delivery and suggested to superimpose zoom on the PowerPoint to avoid duplicitous power struggles.
TM Chris reviews old speeches from TM Pam for hidden revelations and wants to know all about the serial killer who stalked the crowds at the 1893 Chicago World Fair (Mayor Daley’s great-great-grandpa?)
TM Marie commended TM Julie on her speech and was extremely relieved – like the rest of us- to learn that the unplanned howling background noise did not refer to TM Julie’s husband. She Won Best Evaluator Award.
The Word of the Day was
DUPLICITOUS, noun
Given to – or marked by – deceptiveness in behavior or speech
Example: Being duplicitous is synonymous with being a politician – it’s clearly stated in the job description.
TM Carmine led us on more Idioms based on the word GET. Get it? Got it! Good!
TM Aleta gets a kick by making lemonade out of lemons – her new neighbors crashed their car against her property fence but oh well, now they’ve become BFF.
TM Jose has learned as a tall man he can’t sit in the back row of the classroom any more, and he gets off the hook by keeping the fish by hook or by crook.
I, Ana, have done most things in my life by getting into the swing of it and found an area of compatibility with my swing dance partner, aka my husband. I Won Best Table Topics Award.
TM Mary is building back the bedlam of the last few weeks by getting on the ground floor and trying to steer her virtual students into a bedlamless life.
TM BeckyJo just realized that her Dad pretended to like her friends but in reality was engaging in water sports child slave labor.
TM Randolph’s motto is get up and go – for starters (pun intended) he’s the family’s alarm clock and gets the whole day going.
Reporting from a lasagna aroma-filled room back home, TM Paolo cleans the body pipes regularly by confronting others and getting things off his chest.
Along came the prepared speeches…
TM Lois delighted us with a story of her lost & found David leather coat purchased in Florence, Italy, returned to her by Michelangelo Buonarotti himself. She Won Best Speaker Award.
TM Jim G. developed his Level 4 plan and built an ipso-facto team made up of ‘all y’all’ unsuspecting EarlyBirds. More to follow!
TM Tom regaled us with a tale of his great-grandpa who lived in Coffeyville, Kansas, where they had bank vaults on timers and resolved conflict with The Daltons via shotgun and had them sign up for a tv series.
As far as evaluations….
TM Jeff admired TM Lois’s storytelling capabilities and good vocal variety and suggested cliffhangers are not the best way to end a speech. He Won Best Evaluator Award.
TM Aleta praised TM Jim G. for his impeccable virtual manners and his uncanny ability to rope us into his team without all y’all even noticing.
DTM Kip lauded TM Tom for his tale of a gunfight on Main Street which has provided Tom with invaluable skills to deal with HOA bedlam conflict resolution.
In case you didn’t GET it yet, the Word of the Day was
BEDLAM, noun
Pandemonium, chaos
Example: Peaceful evenings preceded bedlam at the OK Corral, now known as a national chain called Snarky Tones BBQ and Grill.
