Social Distancing Musings, Mentorship in the School of Very Hard Knocks, and Honey I'll Fix It! A fun morning at EarlyBirds

 

M Mildred started us off on another virtual carpet ride, and we learned that…


With the advent of Zoom, TM Marie does not even brush the back of her hair nor does she iron the backs of her blouses. Who cares? Zoom viewers only see our fronts. We are now virtually one-dimensional figures.
Returning TM Pretty feels blessed while empathizing with suffering of her fellows and dreams of the day when others will no longer be in pain. She Won Best Table Topics Award.
TM BeckyJo couldn’t select a strange experience since her life nowadays is just chock-full of strange… She suffers from face masks déjà vu and to her own amazement actually misses her day job.
TM Miki pondered the irony that 10 years ago she came to America and could do many things but culture shock kept her from participating; now she would like to participate in many things but circumstances restrict her. Isn’t that usually what happens in life??
Guest Terri would like to help others in more ways – however, she conducts virtual grief groups in the school for the underprivileged where she works, and where the kids are showing increasing signs of P.T.S.D. (probably from being home schooled by their mothers, LOL).
When push comes to shove, DTM Kip would give up his TV, since he can watch his shows on his computer. He would absolutely not give up his cellphone, even though he is painfully aware that it’s a husband-tracker so he must watch his every move, because his wife does, too. Just sayin…..



And then came prepared speeches…


TM Tom told us about how he was successfully mentored in Quantico, where his drill sergeant was more scary than the scariest horror movie; where chaos, confusion and madness reigned, but where he turned into a strong man, proud of his country and fiercely loyal to those who serve. He Won Most Improved Speaker.
TM Jeff told us about his lifelong woodsmith hobby, learned from his handy father who could fix anything. Jeff showed us some of his finest creations and held a Q&A session where we learned all about the pros and cons of repurposing wood. Who knew??? He Won Best Speaker Award.



As for evaluations….


DTM Kip praised TM Tom for showing emotion and accurately replicating the ruthlessness and cruelty inherent to top brass in the military. It’s in their DNA.
TM Marie lauded TM Jeff for an interesting, informative speech and masterful facilitating of a Q&A with different vocal variety and demeanor. He is a master builder of speeches for sure! She Won Best Evaluator Award.



The Word of the Day was



NORMAL, adjective



Conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected. (Note from Editor: In other words, everything that life is NOT at this point in time).



Example: “It’s quite normal for puppies to bolt their food.”



Next week is Tall Tales…. Bring a story, Table Topics, anything you can think of. The only requirement is that it be untrue and a complete exaggeration. Or at least, fool us into thinking so…



Virtually yours,



Ana I.

Sargeant-at-Arms

Blue Bicycle, Mask Addiction and Parenting by Survey, a fun morning at Early Bird Toastmasters

 

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,



TM Aleta launched us off with “Memories” (sung to the tune of “Memories”), and we learned that…


TM John need not look too far for famous people because Toastmasters breeds people into becoming famous people. He’s discovered that each one of us is exactly the same as so-called famous people, minus the ego.
TM Mildred jolted her memories of how she came to Toastmasters all those years ago and now, after an absence of 8 years, is able to zoom in from her home in Orlando. Ah, the marvels of technology!
DTM Jim D. reminisced about his most embarrassing moment, when his prospective employer had to whisper his name to Jim for a formal introduction – and he still kept the job!
In a great display of adaptability, Guest and former Toastmaster Nanette enjoys buying fresh fruit and veggies from the farmers and does not miss store shopping at all!
Guest Aaron’s most memorable vacation was a cruise to “Bermuda, Jamaica, uuuuhhh I want to take ya”, (sung to the tune of “Kokomo”) when his wife had a close encounter of the third kind…. Shark!!!!
Guest Luis recalled an unforeseen encounter with the police, called by his roommate to report a potential burglary, and he immediately thought his roommate had gotten himself into trouble, once again. He was wrong – this time- as his roommate kept reminding him repeatedly. He Won Best Table Topics Award.



As to prepared speeches…


TM BeckyJo, the consummate storyteller, told us about The Blue Bicycle, which became a symbol after World War II – to her own mother, it represented community, to her late friend and Holocaust survivor Ellie, it represented freedom. So when you set yourself free from something that’s been holding you down, remember The Blue Bicycle.
I, TM Ana, told about the exhausting role of a veteran mask addict and how a mentor in Toastmasters helped her shed those masks and become authentic. She Won Best Speaker Award.
DTM Mary Helen compared Pathways’ personality trait survey to her parenting skills, and like every single solitary parent in the world, came up short. Is she a pacesetter (according to Toastmasters) or a self-appointed family motivational speaker (according to her family). Therein, my friends, lies the conundrum. She Won Most Improved Speaker Award.



Along came evaluations….


DTM Kip praised TM BeckyJo’s storytelling skills, pointed out that her speech was a celebration of miracles, with a call to action, and he suggests that she repeat it. Hence, he mapped it to project 2 of any Path. To Kip, all roads (speeches) lead to Pathways…. Go Kip!
TM Tom really enjoyed my speech, my use of props and my choice of an addiction that many of us experience. He suggested I work on my vocal volume.
TM Jeff commended DTM Mary Helen for sharing the survey results on the screen and suggested she emphasize her gestures, to replicate her vivaciousness when speaking at Denny’s. She Won Most Improved Speaker Award.



Speaking of Denny’s PTSD, do any of you find yourselves anxiously anticipating at the most important moment of a speech a VERY loud racket in Denny’s kitchen? Or is it just me? Gosh, I miss Denny’s!!! (Not).



The Word of the Day was



ADAPTABLE, adjective



Capable of becoming adapted. Changeable, elastic, adjustable, flexible.



Example: odern baby strollers are adaptable to any eventuality. (Parents need to mimic strollers)



Virtually yours,



Ana

Sargeant-at-Arms

Quotable Quotes, A Stitch in Time and Pathways Paradigm Shift - EarlyBirds virtual meeting recap

 

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,



I, Ana, launched us off with some profound philosophical quotes. We thus heard some profound revelations….


Guest Jose has been bombarded with so much humorous, sarcastic, ironic, you name it messages on WhatsApp, email, text messaging, you name it, that he’s had to actually become Censor-in-Charge of his Virtual Universe. So much humor may truly be the end of civilization. He Won Best Table Topics Award.
TM Jeff wondered aloud if you smile when no one else is around, does it even count????
Guest Craig agreed that it takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else…. Especially when that person is not in them!! LOL
Guest Michelle tends to agree with the 50-50-90 rule: if you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability that you’ll get it wrong. But hey, if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing it wrong (contrary to what they taught us as children).
Guest Maria believes that if you put a lot of passion and zest into life, living once is definitely enough because you will be absolutely, positively exhausted to even blink your eyes one single more time.
Guest Norah agrees that those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often. It’s so much fun to watch the expressions on their faces….!!!
TM BeckyJo agreed that Mae West was a truly remarkable blonde whose quote reminded her, somehow, that the more she (BeckyJo) ignores her hair, the blonder it gets….
Guest Astrid can’t decide which evil to pick when facing 2 of them. She is just torn and undecided, because they are both usually soooo attractive..



And then came the prepared speeches…


TM Aleta began her speech with clichés about being prepared, such as. “a stitch in time saves nine”, “if it’s to be, it’s up to me”, “a penny saved is a penny earned”, “a fool and his money are soon parted”. And naturally, most of us are prepared “for a rainy day” but not for a Corona monsoon…. She Won Most Improved Speaker and Best Speaker Award.
DTM Kip regaled us with a PowerPoint presentation about the many roads that inevitably lead to Pathways and how much fun it is to beat the system. Kip is available for private tutoring at the Sneaky Pathways Workarounds Virtual Academy.



As for evaluations….


TM Chris compared TM Aleta’s speaking skills to bicycle riding – even if you don’t practice for decades, you’re still a pro. Besides which, Aleta foresees the future and tied in her speech to TableTopics via Extra Sensory Perception from Pennsylvania to Florida. She Won Best Evaluator Award.
TM Pam told DTM Kip that after 30 years of going through Competent Communicator manuals and with a little help from Zoom, he has finally overcome his tendency to mumble when speaking. He has truly made her – and all of us – proud. I’m verklempt….



The Word of the Day was



PARADIGM, noun



A philosophical framework of any kind



Virtually yours,



Ana

Sargeant-at-Arms

Spring Has Sprung, Icebreaker, A Modest Proposal and Wingin' It - another virtual EarlyBird meeting

 

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

Third time’s a charm – EarlyBirds is getting better and better in Zoomworld!!

 

TopicMaster Marie started us off on the topic of Spring….

 

• TM Joe curbs his confinement impatience by looking at the robin’s nest outside his home office window with its beautiful blue eggs awaiting their time to hatch.  Nature goes on, inexorably… He Won Best Table Topics Award.
• Former EarlyBird TM Astrid, eternal fashionista and lasting friend, as a current New Yorker said:  “Conventional fashion?  Foggeddabboudit…  Do what you want; wear what you want.”
• TM Aleta will spend this out-of-the-ordinary Easter donning an Easter bonnet while downstreaming Church services at home, thinking of Easter lilies and anticipating with gusto her scrumptious Egg Salad sandwich Easter dinner.
• TM BeckyJo thinks of Spring Cleaning as making space -getting rid of unused things for donations or the trash.  It cleanses her of her resentment for Spring Cleaning.   A prior saver of useless things, as she has grown older, she’s become more brutal (in her own words) and discards relentlessly.
• Guest Maria told us of family gatherings in her native Russia during the month of May.  Other activities included picnics and kebabs.  Truly a revival time. 

And then came the prepared speeches…

TM Lisa, who deals with stress with humor, told us that she takes this situation very seriously but if she’s learned one thing and one thing only from it, it’s: try not to make out with strangers or at least wash your hands vigorously before you do. Handwashes galore keep the virus outside the door.
TM Pam transitioned haltingly from virus-free Okinawa, Japan to virus-ridden Key Biscayne* (*Note from the editor: Key Biscayne is a Hispanic island strategically connected to the United States by the Rickenbacker Causeway). She modestly proposes a world of Arm Band wearers – virus-survivors, virus-carriers and virus-ignorers. Sort of a Who’s Who of Virusdom. She Won Best Speaker Award.
In a sudden turn of events, TM Jeff cold-turkeyed all of us who so badly wanted to heckle him and told us about life at his college fraternity, Sigma Phi Epsilon, regaining their Frat House when he pledged. In hindsight, he identified all the cracks – unrealized potential drowned in free-flowing booze until the House of Cards fell – giving name to the future Netflix miniseries. He Won Best Speaker Award. We reserve the right to heckle him VERY SOON.



As to evaluations…


TM Carmine praised Lisa for her clearly defined words, her sound advice and in our Zoom world, suggested she look straight into the camera to connect with her audience.
DTM Kip rejoiced that TM Pam is back, praised her for avoiding politics in her speech and suggested she clean her camera lens because her image looks washed out. We have all become tv stars, whether we like it or not.
Former TM Jose pointed out the suspenseful lead-up to TM Jeff’s speech, praised the fact that he did not use notes or read his speech and suggested he keep his eyes on the camera while delivering it. Jeff needs to work on vocal variety but the clarity of his diction is remarkable. He Won Best Evaluator Award.



Lest anyone forget, Grammarian BeckyJo virtually gave (2.) Coronavirus ball eerie lookalikes as Best Grammar Trophies. The recipients’ names seniorly elude me at this point. You know who you are..



See you next week!



Virtually yours,



Ana

Sargeant-at-Arms

questered.... Albeit Connected... Virtual EarlyBirds

Dear Members and Guests,
TopicMaster Carmine zoomed us off with kitchen utensils.  It became real clear, real quick, that female members of EarlyBirds don’t even know where their kitchen is located in the home – let alone their kitchen utensils!
Besides that, we learned that…
• DTM Mary Helen wistfully misses the good ole days when instead of a fancy silicone baster, she resorted to used paintbrushes stored in her garage for basting the turkey.  As a result, her children developed second-to-none immune systems.  This comes in handy today…
• Returning TM Mildred praised the versatility of the kitchen spoon, which included effective disciplinary action used against unruly children when she was growing up.
• Former EarlyBird member Victoria lauded the multi-tasking features of the slotted spoon – doubling up as a toilet plunger and subsequently becoming a garden dirt mover (the virtual room virtually sighed with relief that it didn’t go back to hanging with the other kitchen utensils)…. Pfiuuuu….
• TM BeckyJo vividly described wildly waving a wooden fork during a passionate self-righteous argument with a spouse and breaking off its prongs, slowly, slowly and one-at- a-time for emphasis.  It truly gets your point across – try it!  She Won Best Table Topics Award.
• Returning TM Lisa, for lack of the word “spatula” in her culinary vocabulary,  kept calling the utensil a “cake batter spoon”.  Everyone is invited to her home for a cake-battered-spoon cake when sequestration is over.
And then we zoomed on to the prepared speeches….
• TM Tom recounted his virgin Court appearance representing a client who called her husband by her boyfriend’s name “in the spur of the moment” – or shall we say “in the sperm of the moment”?  He Won Most Improved Speaker Award.
• TM Aleta – loyal member in good standing rejoining us for the first time since she left Florida in the 80s- told us about her lucky breaks in life, where she currently gardens a multi-acre property in Paradise and works as a Labor Mediator, a profession she absolutely adores.  As TM Marie said,  all these years (to some of us) you were only an enigmatic name in the Club Roster!!  And paradoxically, now you are virtually real!! 
• Former EarlyBird TM and lasting friend – my brother Jose– delighted us with a speech about his 60th birthday party – celebrated twice, in Madrid and also in Fort Lauderdale.  Picture slides from the occasion brought us all hope for good parties still to come.  He Won Best Speaker Award
As for evaluations…
• TM Lisa applauded TM Tom for his engaging speech which had humor, the element of surprise, and a good reminder that cheating doesn’t pay if you can’t get their names straight.
• TM Joe applauded TM Aleta for her uplifting speech which exuded optimism and positivity in a spirit of gratitude.
• TM Jeff praised Jose for his charisma and his ability to use technology to make his speech more vivid and descriptive.  He Won Best Evaluator Award.
The Word of the Day was
SEQUESTER, noun
1.      Isolate or hide away
2.      General cut in government spending
We had a delightfully varied attendance made up of former EarlyBirds who are freed from the rigors of commuting in traffic, friends of Jose, family of Jose, fans of Jose.  Let’s keep it going!  Guests, keep coming back, we love having you!
Next Thursday, same time, same Zoom id.  And, once again, thank you to our Tech Wizards for making it all possible.
Virtually yours,
Ana
Sargeant-at-Arms