Iceland Trolls, It's Not Funny and Church Fundraisers - a fun morning at Early Birds!

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

Recently Northern Lighted TM Scott led us in very intriguing Icelandic table topics:

 

• TM Carmine – who makes a mini speech even out of a self-introduction- philosophized that trolls and elves, gremlins and imps, devils and saints are all a projection. No more, no less.
• DTM Jim D. thinks viking canoes would do pretty well in Lake Okeechobee and at least Florida is not as cold as misnamed Greenland.
• TM Marie pictured having the Katla volcano near her home and would respect life more and watch the miniseries Katla with more intention.  She Won Best Table Topics Award.
• I, TM Ana, realized that I live in a rather safe neighborhood where I leave my front door – and often my garage door – unlocked overnight, so I won’t contemplate moving to Iceland anymore to escape crime.
• TM Paolo, dry in Miami, lives up to ‘in vino veritas’ while in Italy and guzzles rose even with pizza.  What’s life without vino anyway?
• TM Chris would rename Fort Lauderdale the murder and mayhem Venice of Florida and entice others to move to Iceland.   Her hidden agenda?  To scuba dive with TM Jim G. in total exclusivity!
• DTM Mary Helen surmises that Iceland has the highest publishing rate in the world because the population gets tired of jumping over geysers and watching volcanos and resorts to writing books – about geysers and volcanos.
• TM Jose revealed that in spite of recent persistent downpours, Spain is in a drought and people must take dry showers to be ecofriendly.  He’s starting next year!
• TM Aleta used to own a quarter horse but prefers half horses, which abound in Iceland, and reminded us that you should never approach a horse from the rear, as Danny Saradon used to say.

 

Along came the prepared speeches…

 

• TM Pam laid on her couch and -while eating Cheetos paired with Pinot Grigio - realized that seal repairs means fixing potheads in certain circles.  She Won Best Speaker Award.
• DTM Kip confessed that his church fundraiser owes its success to the fact that he sent unstapled letters out. As a very spiritual pastor said, “Your checkbook contains the footprints of your soul”.

 

In terms of the evaluations…

 

• TM Randolph commended TM Pam for her professionalism and her great sense of humor which caused him to unmute and chuckle throughout her speech.  He Won Best Evaluator Award.
• TM Carmine praised DTM Kip, the Double Dipper Pathways Master Wizard, and still continues to give his evaluation at this very hour.

 

The Word of the Day was

 

HOT TAKE, noun

 

Piece of commentary typically produced quickly in response to a recent event, whose primary purpose is to attract attention.

 

Example:   Political commentators give a hot take while eating a hot cake cooked in a hot bake oven.

 

Here’s the link to the recording.  By the way, TM Chris added ALL the Recaps to our blog since we started meeting virtually.  It’s all a hot take blog now.  Thanks TM Chris!!!

 

YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSthfP1megA

 

See you next week!

 

Ana I.

Recap Writer

Spring, Mentoring and New Tricks - a fun morning at EarlyBirds!

 

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

Spring has sprung!  I, Ana, led us in Springish topics.  We soon discovered that…

 

• TM Tom knows that the best formula is to bloom where you are planted.  He Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM Jose has finally realized that the rain in Spain stays mainly in his flooded backyard.
• TM Lois affirms that spring adds new life and new beauty to all that is and stays away from gloom and doom.
• TM Randolph eliminates his morning yawn by jumping in the shower to prepare for the coming day…
• TM BeckyJo honestly does not like change but honestly does her level best to see change as a good reminder of change.
• DTM Kip grows thought-provoking weeds but mostly focuses on watering the flowers his wife plants.
• TM Aleta agrees that old fashioned fresh air and sunshine are hard to beat, especially after a Southwestern Pennsylvania winter…
• TM Paolo is doubly grateful for his health and his beautiful six Italian flowers that are waiting eagerly for him!

 

Along came our prepared speeches…

 

• TM Chris reinforced the idea that mentoring – and being mentored- is the name of life’s game.  Her project showed us how to take some control of the surrounding gallery when screen sharing.  She Won Best Speaker Award.
• TM Carmine nonchalantly displayed weeds, cosmos, ethereal, bridge-crossing and blurred virtual backgrounds.  Moral of the story:  old dogs CAN learn new tricks!

 

As far as evaluations go….

 

• TM Aleta commended TM Chris for her technical prowess, expertise, clear and deliberate tech wizard finger pointing – and that’s before TM Chris went wild and started impersonating animal cartoons in front of our very eyes!  She Won Best Evaluator Award.
• DTM Kip implored TM Carmine to dive into Pathways or meet him at Benny’s to be dragged kicking and screaming into the Pathways he’s always wanted to be.

 

The Word of the Day was

 

DOOMSCROLLING, verb

The practice of obsessively checking online news in search of negativity.  This creates a compulsive craving for more hard core.  The antidote is goodscrolling, dumbscrolling or glowscrolling – checking out little critters from God’s animal kingdom frolicking in green pastures (before you know it, it will be nighttime and another day wasted away).

 

A few photos from yesterday https://photos.app.goo.gl/BMKK6TzuXnfHiJtB8

 

Here’s the link to the recording:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XT0x0D0vfA

 

 

See you next week!

 

Ana I.

Recap Writer

Impromptu Impromptu Cues, The Purpose of Life, It's All Small Stuff and Cats - iterations at Early Birds

Dear Members, Friends and Guests,

 

TM Carmine impromptuly led us in impromptu speaking.  These are some of the gems we heard…

 

• TM Chris fantasizes about being a Queen in procession and her valet swarms about her deploying a royal umbrella to protect her from purple rain.  Her husband is a real-life close second in the umbrella deployment department.
• TM Jose discourages golfers from using their golf umbrella – it’s better to experience purple rain than to be hit by lightning, but hey golfers,  it’s your choice!
• TM Scott’s father-in-law offered to help redecorate Scott’s fixer-upper house by lighting a match and since then, Scott has had a strong affinity for orange sunsets.
• TM Aleta does not have a back porch per se but she is not lacking, oh no, as she has a sun porch facing East,  a front porch facing West, a screened porch facing North and a deck facing Southwest.  Amazingly, she has a house too!
• TM Randolph likes to spend private time in his bathroom, where he can reflect, collect his thoughts and reconnect with himself – away from the kids for 5 glorious minutes per week!  He Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM Pam is a card-carrying beachcomber who collects seashells and reflects about them in her spare time caused by the fact that, yes,  there is hardly any trash on the beach anymore!!

 

 

We heard interesting prepared speeches today…

 

• TM Lois (who has been demoted from being the newest EarlyBird member since the return of TM Scott) told us about how to find purpose and meaning in life at 88 – being available to herself, enriching her journey, helping others and consistently checking out books from her mental library.
• TM Scott did an iteration of his icebreaker.  He has suffered trauma with a lower-case t and reminded us not to sweat the small stuff – and it truly is all small stuff anyway.
• TM Tom shared his unexpected feline ownership enthusiasm and how it’s best to embrace change.  Now he keenly witnesses his shit-su’s and his cat’s bloodless staredowns.  He Won Best Speaker Award.

 

Along came evaluations….

 

• TM Randolph suggested to TM Lois that she is a born salesperson, and he’s ready to buy her product, sight unseen.
• TM Aleta commended TM Scott for his speech clarity, organization, structure and composition.  We like happy endings!  Great addition to our club!   
• DTM Jim D. praised TM Tom for his multiple directional feelings and the iteration of the self-evident truth that felines are the ruling class.  He Won Best Evaluator Award.

 

Our Timer, TM Jim G., experienced iterations of being ignored throughout the meeting and had to iterate and reiterate his incarnation time and time again.  Pun intended.

Our Grammarian, TM Marie, pointed out that for such an illustriously intellectual group, we iterate lotsa  ‘gonnas, haftas, gottas’.  Get with the program, people!

 

The Word of the Day was

 

ITERATION, noun

1. Version or incarnation of the operating system.
2. The act of iterating or repeating.

 

Example: 

 

Incarnation iteration is the state of a newborn baby who drinks his second bottle of evaporated milk. 

 

The recording of today’s meeting:

                                                                                                                                          

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-n64EcnshEe

 

 

See you next week!

 

Ana I.

Recap Writer

Beachcombing, mimosas and other aromatic herbs... an EarlyBird meeting for real

Dear Members, Friends and Guests,

 

Some of us Broward Countyers congregated -under the sound organizational skills of DTM Mary Helen- at a cozy beachfront gazebo and confirmed widespread suspicions that after prolonged weekly gatherings in a virtual reality we have become, in effect,  human holograms!!

 

True to holographic form, this is what we projected….

 

• TM Randolph wore his virtual background
• TM Tom supervised the group like a former Platoon Brigadier General
• TM Jim and TM Chris attempted to pay their bill with bitcoin and almost succeeded
• DTM Kip honored his Irish ancestry by downing several mimosas, to avoid revealing whether he’s Irish Catholic or Protestant
• TM Marie wore her Panama hat (made in Ecuador) in case the sun’s pernicious rays could penetrate the metal roof of the gazebo…
• DTM Mary Helen was extremely dexterous as a one-arm bandit and left not a single crumb on her plate…
• DTM Jim gave financial tips for credit rating protection (pay the full credit card balance on the last day of the month) to imaginary youngsters who pay the minimum owed…
• TM Lois kept repeating insistently -and perplexingly- that her meal was American….  Awright, Lois!
• I, Ana, in a mesmerizing display of appalling disorientation and cluelessness, took 30 minutes to locate the meeting place…

In all seriousness,  we had great fun reminiscing about old times when we were simply average humans who used to meet at Frenny’s to listen to speeches while having Cardiovascular Testing Skillets and Bacon Shakes.  Today, we missed our geographically distant friends.  We will soon start planning for EarlyBirds’ 60^th anniversary next year, to give everyone sufficient notice to defy any space and time continuum.

 

Lastly, TM Carmine was last seen walking north on the juncture of Hillsboro Blvd. and AIA-  and finally asking for directions.

 

Jocularly submitted,

 

Ana I.

Pelican Chronicler

 

 

O'Fun, O'Fun, O'Fun - St Patty's Day at EarlyBirds

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

Top of the Morning!

 

Why don’t you want to iron a 4-leaf clover???  Because you don’t want to press your luck!

 

The ancestral -or adoptive- Irish in us led us to a plethora of shenanigans.

 

DTM Mary 0’Helen started us off with clever clover 0’Table Topics.   We discovered that, as 0’Kermit The Frog wisely said, “It’s not easy being green”….

 

• TM 0’Carmine loves duality, aphorysms, parables, paradoxes, antonyms and green-eyed monsters.
• TM 0’Marie stated unequivocally that celebrities wait in the green room of late late night shows by snacking, crimping, drinking or shrimping.  As a green room celebrity, she would just be chatting.
• I, TM 0’Ana, love green, ripe, spotted, mashed or diced bananas and their third cousin twice removed – plantains- because my ancestors were Cuban-Irish primates who drank banana daiquiris on St Patty’s Day.
• TM 0’Lois likes the feel of brand new, ironed green bills, and fully believes in a green cheese moon.  Her motto is green-go!
• DTM Jim O’D wore a head-to-toe Irish costume to his first date with DTM 0’Mary Helen…. And miraculously survived.  Ah…. The luck of the Irish for sure!
• TM 0’BeckyJo only gets green around the gills when she wants to take a day – or a few days- off from work.  The old conundrum:  What comes first?...
• TM 0’Chris eats her greens faithfully and they make her mind sharp and skillful to play an impromptu slide show of a memorable St Patty’s Day party at the O’Ds Irish abode.
• TM 0’Aleta revealed that Johnny Appleseed planted his first apple tree in Philly and was the great great grandfather of Aleta’s Granny Smith.
• TM 0’Pam has lately been eating fried green tomatoes and collard greens and joined the Native Plant Society.
• TM 0’Scott faithfully eats his greens but understands that there are no greener pastures than his out there – merely different shades of green.   He Won Best Table Topics Award.

 

We had two great prepared speeches…

 

• TM O’Pam is currently experiencing first-world decision fatigue regarding travel choices across the country – with or without a newly-to-be-adopted cat.   She and her husband have finally found their core muscles by learning to get up gracefully off the floor.
• TM 0’Scott mindfully taught us non-judgemental, less reactive, sympathetic and parasympathetic responses to external stimulation in 5 to 7 minutes.  He Won Best Speaker Award.

 

As for the evaluations…

 

• DTM O’Kip finds TM 0’Pam amusing and entertaining and wants more and more guffaws in her next speech.  He’s voting that she take the new cat on the birding trip to Maine.
• TM 0’Chris praised TM 0’Scott for his capacity to engage the audience and his ability to stop us from mentally reviewing our grocery list during the speech.  She Won Best Evaluator Award.

 

The Word of the Day was

 

SHENANIGANS, noun

1. Secret or dishonest activity
2. Silly or high-spirited behavior.

 

Etymology:  from old Irish sionnachighim, which means ‘play the fox’ (while you dance the fox trot and drink green beer)

 

Link to the recording today http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9s-JwKRkFuk

 

See you next week!

 

Irishly submitted,

 

Ana I.

Recap Writer

 

 

Unusual Table Topics, Virtual Friends, Who Are You? and Tech Tips - absence of tribulation at EarlyBirds

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

TM Scott started us with an Invocation in the Tahino, Tequesta and Seminole tradition, during which we learned that they were all ancient Snow Birds, leaving the Everglades for the Keys – not to avoid the heat as they wore skimpy tangas – but to escape the swarms of mosquitoes and enjoy a few Margaritas during the hot summer months.

 

TM Randolph surprised us with unusual topics.  We heard that….

 

• TM Tom wants to star in Howdy Doody Wrestler to the entrance theme song of Rocky played with tubas.
• TM Chris solemnly affirms she saw telltale bubbles from an amphibian gassy sea robin in the otherwise silent world of diving.  She Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM Pam couldn’t choose to be the smartest or the funniest person in the room because she actually knows she’s both.  She avoids tripping on banana peels, though.
• TM BeckyJo makes silly faces to her 5 yr old grand nephew while he reads Winnie the Pooh to her.
• TM Jim G. was hard pressed (pun intended) to think of a prank he’s committed against his wife other than having her come home to a clean house, bypassing the cleaning lady option.
• TM Aleta reveres Cher’s risqué outfits and will have her as first guest in the upcoming late night talk show.  Oh, if she could turn back time…. (sung to the tune of “If I Could Turn Back Time” by Cher).
• TM Scott lives in Groundhog Bay where he has seen the movie 20 times in one Day – and counting…..

 

Along came the prepared, pre-planned speeches (and one improvised)…

 

• TM Carmine’s virtual friend has showed up in person and is exuberant, exciting, non-mood altering, a millionaire and leads Carmine to close encounters of the fun kind with sinfully unmarried octagenarians.   A blind date is being set up between Missouri and Southwestern Pennsylvania as we speak.  Stay tuned.
• TM Marie spoke of the joy of connectedness and Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, who said the world is round so friendships can encircle it and Jesuit priests may propagate the earth.   Ah mes amis!
• TM Chris showed us how to look up our old speeches and push them to our suffering friends during our frequent episodes of acute self-indulgence.  She Won Best Speaker Award.

 

As far as evaluations go…

 

• First-time evaluator TM Lois commended TM Carmine for presenting stimulating real topics with good diction and avoiding his natural tendency to ignore the Timer.  Good job Lois!4
• TM Scott quoted Rene Descartes “Je Pense Donc Je Suis” which crushed our loyalty to Willy’s quote “To Be Or Not To Be – That Is The Question”.  He Won Best Evaluator Award.
• Amid rustling papers, DTM Kip gave a superb critique of TM Chris’s speech spontaneity and had the profound revelation that this group needs all the Tech Tips we can get.

 

Several of us tried our level best to promote TM Jim G. to DTM Jim G. but it did not fly.

General Evaluator DTM Mary Helen suffered tribulation with her Mute Button and has signed up for a Mute/Unmute Crash Course at Mute/Unmute School of Technology in nearby Commute St.

 

The Word of the Day was

 

TRIBULATION, noun

A cause of great trouble or suffering

 

Example:  A tarnished reputation can produce great tribulation.  Contact Reputation Deep Enders.

 

Here’s the link to the recording:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=larwIJpVFX4

 

See you next week on St Patty’s!

 

Tribulantly submitted,

 

Ana I.

Recap Writer

Impromptu Impromptu, Purposes, Intents, Felines - iterations at EArly Birds

Dear Members, Friends and Guests,

 

TM Carmine impromptuly led us in impromptu speaking.  These are some of the gems we heard…

 

• TM Chris fantasizes about being a Queen in procession and her valet swarms about her deploying a royal umbrella to protect her from purple rain.  Her husband is a real-life close second in the umbrella deployment department.
• TM Jose discourages golfers from using their golf umbrella – it’s better to experience purple rain than to be hit by lightning, but hey golfers,  it’s your choice!
• TM Scott’s father-in-law offered to help redecorate Scott’s fixer-upper house by lighting a match and since then, Scott has had a strong affinity for orange sunsets.
• TM Aleta does not have a back porch per se but she is not lacking, oh no, as she has a sun porch facing East,  a front porch facing West, a screened porch facing North and a deck facing Southwest.  Amazingly, she has a house too!
• TM Randolph likes to spend private time in his bathroom, where he can reflect, collect his thoughts and reconnect with himself – away from the kids for 5 glorious minutes per week!  He Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM Pam is a card-carrying beachcomber who collects seashells and reflects about them in her spare time caused by the fact that, yes,  there is hardly any trash on the beach anymore!!

 

 

We heard interesting prepared speeches today…

 

• TM Lois (who has been demoted from being the newest EarlyBird member since the return of TM Scott) told us about how to find purpose and meaning in life at 88 – being available to herself, enriching her journey, helping others and consistently checking out books from her mental library.
• TM Scott did an iteration of his icebreaker.  He has suffered trauma with a lower-case t and reminded us not to sweat the small stuff – and it truly is all small stuff anyway.
• TM Tom shared his unexpected feline ownership enthusiasm and how it’s best to embrace change.  Now he keenly witnesses his shit-su’s and his cat’s bloodless staredowns.  He Won Best Speaker Award.

 

Along came evaluations….

 

• TM Randolph suggested to TM Lois that she is a born salesperson, and he’s ready to buy her product, sight unseen.
• TM Aleta commended TM Scott for his speech clarity, organization, structure and composition.  We like happy endings!  Great addition to our club!   

<![if !supportLists]>·       <![endif]>DTM Jim D. praised TM Tom for his multiple directional feelings and the iteration of the self-evident truth that felines are the ruling class.  He Won Best Evaluator Award.

 

Our Timer, TM Jim G., experienced iterations of being ignored throughout the meeting and had to iterate and reiterate his incarnation time and time again.  Pun intended.

Our Grammarian, TM Marie, pointed out that for such an illustriously intellectual group, we iterate lotsa  ‘gonnas, haftas, gottas’.  Get with the program, people!

 

The Word of the Day was

 

ITERATION, noun

<![if !supportLists]>1.    <![endif]>Version or incarnation of the operating system.

<![if !supportLists]>2.    <![endif]>The act of iterating or repeating.

 

Example: 

 

Incarnation iteration is the state of a newborn baby who drinks his second bottle of evaporated milk. 

 

The recording of today’s meeting:

                                                                                                                                          

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-n64EcnshEe

 

 

See you next week!

 

Ana I.

Recap Writer