Seclusion jubilation, Titan Toastmasters, Homebuying 101 and Amiguita, Drop Your Weapons - EarlyBird Zoomers

 

Dear Members, Guests and Friends:

 

DTM Jim D. stirred us awake with memories of seclusion while slowly re-emerging with jubilation:

 

• TM Joe has been vigorously doing pushups and situps but his 9-lb weight loss is a result of a professional haircut, aptly named HAIRVID-19. 
• Virtual reality has allowed TM Jim G. to synchronize Happy Hours with friends in other time zones – hey, it must be 5 o’clock somewhere – and besides, you just fall over anywhere in your house without any inconvenient driving, for Covid’s sake.  DUIs have significantly decreased with the advent of Zoom.
• Returning TM Ellen witnessed domestic violence from customers who went Postal at the Post Office – very apropos- and took it outside, the long line of customers following them  – forget shipping the package- to watch the unjubilant couple drive off with the wife sitting on the hood of the car.   Just goes to show the Post Office will always be the Post Office, quarantine or no quarantine.  She Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM Aleta has lively conversations with her appliances, but she has some heated exchanges with her low bandwidth, unstable wifi computer that are not fit to print.  Beautiful flowers are a good tradeoff, though.
• Guest Terri has a stuffed pet which constantly reminds her she’s not alone.  After years of therapy, she  is considering getting a real pet soon.  Terri has reduced her Ahs by 50% since last week.  Go Terri!!
• TM BeckyJo pondered whether a hermit knows he’s actually in quarantine or not.  One of her friends – and we won’t mention any names – has inspired her to start a new 12-step program for Zoom addicts.
• If she only had the time…. TM Chris knows without the shadow of a doubt that there is simply never never never ever enough time, but that’s because Procrastination is her middle name.  More on that story, later… (pun intended).

 

Then came the prepared speeches…

 

• TM Jeff talked about how fortunate he is to have landed in EarlyBirds, a club that has structure and continuity.  As our incoming President, he is following in the steps of Titans, ie TM Carmine, and will lead the club to a hybrid, all- inclusive world of Denny’s skillets and geographically-challenged  Zoomers.
• TM Lisa compared selling/buying a home to riding a wave. She gave us very practical tips, namely depersonalize, detach, sniff for realtor selfishness, and concluded that just like the old adage “men are like buses, there will be another one in 10 minutes,” so are homes. She Won Best Speaker Award.
• TM Astrid transmitted peaceful thoughts and challenged us to let down our weapon of anger, which no longer serves us, to uncover our pain, sadness and confusion. She Won Most Improved Speaker Award.

 

We had great evaluations…

 

• TM Joe commended TM Jeff for a good speech and pointed out that the Rev Al Sharpton is shorter than he appears in our rearview mirror, so don’t count on him to reach up to high shelves.
• TM BeckyJo spoke on behalf of many of us by praising the cohesion and organization of TM Lisa’s speech. She didn’t have to remind herself to “Be Kind” because it was the opposite of a rambling speech. She Won Best Evaluator Award.
• DTM Mary Helen praised TM Astrid for the passion in her speech, her feelings were in plain sight for all to see, and her self-reflection and introspection shows a lot of jubilation (TM Carmine was in 7^th heaven with all the rhymes and alliterations).

 

An impromptu segment has been added to our meeting regarding Zoom Practical Tips.  Discussion ensued and no definitive conclusion was reached as to whether our camera presence ought to emulate TV anchorpeople or simply emulate British character actors on stage.  Both easy choices. More to follow.

 

The Word of the Day was

 

JUBILATION, noun

Feelings of great happiness

Ex. Queen Elizabeth II recently celebrated her Golden Jubilation (Jubilee?)

 

Please allow me to digress and ramble. In Spain, retirement is called Jubilacion (probable origin: jubilation one feels when retiring)

 

Here is the link to the YouTube recording, https://youtu.be/RxJEv1cobVA

 

See you next week!

 

Ana I.

Recap Writer

Spring Has Sprung, Icebreaker, A Modest Proposal and Wingin' It - another virtual EarlyBird meeting

 

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

Third time’s a charm – EarlyBirds is getting better and better in Zoomworld!!

 

TopicMaster Marie started us off on the topic of Spring….

 

• TM Joe curbs his confinement impatience by looking at the robin’s nest outside his home office window with its beautiful blue eggs awaiting their time to hatch.  Nature goes on, inexorably… He Won Best Table Topics Award.
• Former EarlyBird TM Astrid, eternal fashionista and lasting friend, as a current New Yorker said:  “Conventional fashion?  Foggeddabboudit…  Do what you want; wear what you want.”
• TM Aleta will spend this out-of-the-ordinary Easter donning an Easter bonnet while downstreaming Church services at home, thinking of Easter lilies and anticipating with gusto her scrumptious Egg Salad sandwich Easter dinner.
• TM BeckyJo thinks of Spring Cleaning as making space -getting rid of unused things for donations or the trash.  It cleanses her of her resentment for Spring Cleaning.   A prior saver of useless things, as she has grown older, she’s become more brutal (in her own words) and discards relentlessly.
• Guest Maria told us of family gatherings in her native Russia during the month of May.  Other activities included picnics and kebabs.  Truly a revival time. 

And then came the prepared speeches…

TM Lisa, who deals with stress with humor, told us that she takes this situation very seriously but if she’s learned one thing and one thing only from it, it’s: try not to make out with strangers or at least wash your hands vigorously before you do. Handwashes galore keep the virus outside the door.
TM Pam transitioned haltingly from virus-free Okinawa, Japan to virus-ridden Key Biscayne* (*Note from the editor: Key Biscayne is a Hispanic island strategically connected to the United States by the Rickenbacker Causeway). She modestly proposes a world of Arm Band wearers – virus-survivors, virus-carriers and virus-ignorers. Sort of a Who’s Who of Virusdom. She Won Best Speaker Award.
In a sudden turn of events, TM Jeff cold-turkeyed all of us who so badly wanted to heckle him and told us about life at his college fraternity, Sigma Phi Epsilon, regaining their Frat House when he pledged. In hindsight, he identified all the cracks – unrealized potential drowned in free-flowing booze until the House of Cards fell – giving name to the future Netflix miniseries. He Won Best Speaker Award. We reserve the right to heckle him VERY SOON.



As to evaluations…


TM Carmine praised Lisa for her clearly defined words, her sound advice and in our Zoom world, suggested she look straight into the camera to connect with her audience.
DTM Kip rejoiced that TM Pam is back, praised her for avoiding politics in her speech and suggested she clean her camera lens because her image looks washed out. We have all become tv stars, whether we like it or not.
Former TM Jose pointed out the suspenseful lead-up to TM Jeff’s speech, praised the fact that he did not use notes or read his speech and suggested he keep his eyes on the camera while delivering it. Jeff needs to work on vocal variety but the clarity of his diction is remarkable. He Won Best Evaluator Award.



Lest anyone forget, Grammarian BeckyJo virtually gave (2.) Coronavirus ball eerie lookalikes as Best Grammar Trophies. The recipients’ names seniorly elude me at this point. You know who you are..



See you next week!



Virtually yours,



Ana

Sargeant-at-Arms