Prevarication, lies and untruths - a morning of embellishment at EarlyBirds

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

TM Pam inspired us with an embellished invocation.

We then proceeded to hear Tall Tales, Untruths and Other Prevarications from our group.

* TM Aleta finds old coins, arrowheads and other antique relics when excavating her back yard and told the tale of Sugarfoot, who was murdered by Tom Quinn, who buried the money and never found the money because TM Aleta has it.

* TM BeckyJo, aka Queen Marley, is a redheaded Royal Hawaiian, a descendant of the Goddess Pele of the Volcano who has flashes of temper from time to time, just like she does....

* TM Christina saved Space Camp Canada when the simulator crashed and they lost power to Quebec - she won the ribbon for such accomplishments.

* TM Pam kayaked with her pet alligator, Eleanor, and eventually got rid of the pet and invented standing paddle board on a gator.  She Won Best Tall Tales Speaker Award.

* I, Ana, resorted to a psychic in Madrid who transformed my ex into a pigeon which flew back to Bolivia in the wings of a 747 with a pigeonesque logo tatooed on his forehead.

* TM Randolph, radiotransmitting today from Australia, had no car and no job on his first date and a mother who won the Lotto.  He had to buy his date a new car after drowning her car in Slushies.  And only then she agreed to marry him...

* TM Veronica lived a gothic soap opera in a French Chateau surrounded by bats, liver pate and duck during  a hideously dehydrating weekend.  No fromage in sight....

* TM The Tom had his first legal case in Homestead (aka Dysfunction Junction) in the 60s where the charges were dismissed due to the Judge's hilarity attack.

* TM Jose drove his Harley up a mountain, met up with Pedro, the insomniac chef of a 2-star Michelin restaurant who donated Bon Am to Jose, who has now enlisted all of EarlyBirds to fly his private jet and go run the restaurant with him.  We're all headed to Fort Lauderdale airport as we speak!

The Word of the Day was

EMBELLISHMENT, noun

A detail, especially one that is not true, added to a statement or story to make it more interesting or entertaining.

Example:  At EarlyBirds today, we did not let pesky facts get in the way of our embellishments.

Here's the link to our recording:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZ8CODQHK8c

See you next week!

Ana I.

Recap Writer

Prevaricators, Equivocators and Quibblers - nothing but embellished truths at EarlyBird Toastmasters

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

We inducted our newest member, TM Gail.  Welcome aboard!  

Without wasting any time, we showed off our unequivocal truthtelling skills....

* TM Aleta's ex, ironically named "Spike" was a lineman for the county and built her a 3-story treehouse on a Pennsylvania Sequoia, where Aleta currently resides and breeds frequent flyer snakes.

* TM Chris panned for gold in the Yukon, befriended a pet porcupine and bonded with a Sasquatch Bigfoot Yeti with magical powers who returned her to her gold-digging parents.  She Won Best Tall Tales  Award.

* TM Tom owned a bar for immigrants called Ellis Island smack in downtown Casablanca and sold the movie rights to the producer of Grand Hotel.

* DTM Mary Helen is not sure which language she's learning but Babel Live has brought her BFF Ghanan poligamist Prince Money Moody Gumbo while DTM Jim ponders it all...

* DTM Jim D. is a self-proclaimed word -and scotch - massager who wants to fly again on Aeropol Pot #13 with VIP Xerob and Chairman SplashScotchIfThere'sNo Vodka.

* I, Ana, am volting for the Man From Paris, who is currently running for Woke Mayor of Miami Beach for the proliferation of black beans and platanitos.

*  TM Jose traveled to hallowed sites like Benghazi and Tripoli, Libya, where oil sprinklers abound and now that Gaddafi is RIP, are converted into Olive Oil for Caesar Salads.

Because the order .does not alter the product (or so said my Math teacher back in the day), we then had Table Tropics, led by TM Aleta.  We soon learned that....

* TM Pam is having margaritas and singing La Cucaracha in honor of Mexico's Patron Saint, San Patricio.  Viva Chimichanga!

* TM Marie will spend Easter being Holy and gobbling down the perfect marriage - chocolate bunny ears combined with peanut butter.  Or what's a heaven for???

* TM Randolph is spending Spring Break searching for food at a Broward Fairground just a block away from home with his foodie kids.  No Elbo Room for him, no sireeee!

* TM Ricardo is planning a Toastmasters 100-year celebration in a Pacific deserted island.  All we need is a grammarian and Ah Counter.

* TM Gail West is hiring a computer savage maid to do her spring cleaning while she luxuriously sits in a hotel balcony overlooking the ocean.  She Won Best Table Topics Award.

* TM BeckyJo mostly watches her garden keenly and intently and she looooves weeds, which provide food for bees and thus she supports the Nature Channel.

General Evaluator TM BeckyJo read Yoodlie (Artificial Intelligence, better than Natural Stupidity)'s Ah Counter report:  Everyone scored 25 Ahs or more, 35 Errrs or more and 40 You knows in the course of the meeting.  She marveled at our group's capacity to tell the truth, the complete truth and nothing but the truth - so don't help us God!

The Word of the Day was

PREVARICATOR, noun

A person who speaks falsely; a liar

A person who avoids precise truths, a quibbler, an equivocator.

Example:  TM Pam is in direct competition with her prevaricator Rain Bird sprinkler timer for internet stability.  Rain Bird prevails, most of the time.

Here's the link to the recording:

https://youtube.com/live/hXpv4ZHP_Yk

Equivocally submitted,

Ana I.

Recap Fibber

Tall Tales at EarlyBird

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

We dove straight into our Tall Tales, after having vouched that they are 100% true:

* I, Ana, told about the Spanish Avian-fluent orphans who turned out to be heirs to the throne and stopped the Witches' Union from picketing to become Owls.

* DTM Jim D. flew in a psychedelic Alaska Air plane to meet his bike buddies and Gertrude The Moose rode one of the motorcycles while chased by a big brown Alaska bear.

* DTM Mary Helen bought a GPS-driven Magic Carpet in Istanbul after smoking lotsa hooka and flew with her hubby back to the good ole USA. 

*TM Marie confirmed that time is a tall tale, the Sun does not rise and does not set and she is a confirmed shape shifter of the third kind.

* TM Tom's cat has Cuban inclinations and after a brief interlude in Catfish Dewey's flew the Days' Magic Carpet to Tropicana, smack in the heart of Havana.

* TM Aleta knew a homicidal lumberjack named O'Malley who couldn't find the hidden moneybelt of the cook he murdered while being chased by a Pennsylvania black bear.

We then had a sequential Table Topics Magical Mystical Tour,  which sounded like this....

* Hookas open up the appetite and take us to the castle where the queen languishes (Kip) and eats lovingly prepared 800-person paellas  (Jose), eaten with McDonald's fries by a certain wife and kids whose mouths are on saffron-induced fire (Randolph), topped with oozing mozzarella of sexy burrata (Paolo), complemented by black beans, pork chunks and plantains (Ana), landed on a deserted island with hungry shipwrecked survivors (Mary Helen), flown to Havana by a cha-cha dancing cat (Tom) arrived in her backyard with an unstable connection (Aleta), pieced as a family hooka party on both coasts (Val) and joined by a vegetarian moose named Gertrude who instantly became a carnivore (Scott).

Another fun morning at EarlyBirds!

See you next week,

Ana

Recap Writer

Here's the link to the recording:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-24ugLenLQ