Phobias, Counterphobias and Other Habits - Just another day at EarlyBirds Toastmasters

Dear Members, Guests and Friends:

 

As TopicMaster, I started us off with some phobias and it soon became confusingly clear that some people have a phobia of the phobia:

 

• TM Jose suffers from a phobia of arachibutyrophobia (the fear of peanut butter) since his basic diet consists of peanut butter and pancakes, backed by heavy doses of statins.
• TM Jim resists ataxophobia (the fear of disorder) – by filing his taxes in a very orderly fashion and he is now on a first-name basis with his IRS auditor.
• TM Paolo has the onset of ephebiphobia (fear of teenagers) which is the #1 phobia worldwide for anyone who is not a teenager.  “Dio me salve!”, he implores of fate and the universe.
• TM Aleta avoids octophobia (fear of figure 8) but suffers from chapodiphobia (fear of octopi) especially in their male human version.  All those arms… with suckers, to boot!
• TM Carmine overcame allodoxaphobia (fear of opinions) by sharing several existential opinions with us within the 2-minute time limit. Open casket or closed casket? It all depends on the state of the teeth.  “A man’s reach is greater than his grasp – or what’s a heaven for?”  But I digress.
• TM Joe fears having to pronounce atychiphobia (fear of failure) which tailspinned us like a wheel within a wheel, never ending or beginning on an ever-spinning reel.  He Won Best Table Topics Award.
• DTM Mary Helen conquered her gamophobia (fear of marriage) by running into a humorous Toastmaster being served Italian wedding soup at a local diner on her wedding day.  Astrology is the name of the game.

 

We had an icebreaker today….

 

• TM Marie guided us through her daily routine which begins promptly at the time most of us retire for the evening.   Centering Prayer has eliminated the jargon from her inner dialogue and her body now actually whispers back to her to please hit the Snooze button.  She Won Best Speaker Award.

 

We then had an evaluation…

 

• TM Pam praised TM Marie for the flow and continuity of her speech and for challenging all of us to send a poll to our bodies and listen to the feedback.  She knows her own body is waiting to hear that she, Pam, will start taking care of it, oh, any day now.  She Won Best Evaluator Award.

 

Zoom Master Report:

 

• TM Paolo, unknowingly suffering from atelophobia (fear of imperfection) praised DTM Kip’s suspenders against the background of the unseen but imagined Jasper, Georgia mountain range and remarked that TM Marie was perfectly well centered to explain Centering Prayer, which could only be topped by wearing a white linen blouse in the pristine tropical beach backdrop.

 

 

The Word of the Day was

 

FLOTILLA, noun

(Mispronounced FLOTILA phonetically – it’s FLOTIYA phonetically)

1. A fleet of ships or boats; 2 or more squadrons of small warships (such as the Dunkirk evacuation, the retaking of the Falkland Islands, or the Mariel boatlift more recently)

2. An indefinitely large number.

 

We conducted our annual Club Elections and after a very intense,  highly competitive campaign, the results are finally in:

 

President – TM Paolo

VP Education – DTM Kip , per secula seculorum

Treasurer – DTM Jim D.

Secretary – TM Tom

VP Membership – DTM Mary Helen

VP Public Relations – TM Chris

Sargeant-at-Arms – TM Randolph

Immediate Past President – TM Jeff

 

Inauguration Ceremony will be held on Thursday, June 24 at 7 am.   The new officers will officially begin their term on July 1.

 

Next week we will have a Hybrid Meeting – DTM Kip, DTM Mary Helen, TM Jim G., TM Chris will be transmitting from the Back Room in our old Denny’s on Powerline and Oakland Park Blvd.  Denny’s has managed to maintain its ambiance throughout this time and is avidly waiting to serve their legendary Skillets.

 

For the rest of us, see you Zoom!  Same login applies.

 

Video link for today’s meeting http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_kNuTetANw

 

Respectfully submitted,

Ana I.

Recap Writer

 

 

 

Captain Grammar, Acceptance and Memories - fun confusion at EarlyBirds

 

Dear Members, Friends and Guests,

 

TM Aleta started us off with popcorn-style eulogies at the funeral of Captain Grammar, lying lifelessly before our very eyes. 

 

• TM Pam reminisced about her favorite hero – Sleeping Beauty, who had to deal with Seven Dwarfs.  All Pam’s granddaughter wants to know is why can’t Granma cook?
• DTM Kip embarked on a dissertation of daily deficiencies as a husband which ultimately took the life of the dearly departed Captain.
• TM Tom pointed out that the Captain called his ex-wives Plaintiffs since he has forgotten all their names.  There’s just too much bourbon in Kentucky.
• TM Jeff is planning his bachelor party in St. Augustine where the Fountain of Youth recently gushes out bourbon.
• TM Jim G. does not imbibe bourbon and is Captain Grammar himself, alive and well.
• DTM Jim D. realized Captain Grammar died because he couldn’t follow Table Topic instructions, moved to Las Vegas and got heavily into debt.  DTM Jim pondered if Captain Grammar was assisted by another in his demise – as he was unable to pay his EarlyBird dues…
• DTM Mary Helen was appalled at the emotionally frozen paid mourners at this wake, and stated that Captain Grammar died because of the current state of the grammar lexicon.   She Won Best Table Topics Award.

 

Along came prepared speeches…

 

• TM Jeff accepted the Presidency of another Club where he wants to emulate a polifacetic member.  He Won Best Speaker Award.
• In a tandem ride, TM Jose and TM Ana took us down their memory lane, back to high school in the ketchup-deficient, Wonderless Bread, ice-cube averse, free-flowing beer tap miniskirt universe that was Madrid in the 60s.

 

Regarding evaluations….

 

• DTM Kip encouraged TM Jeff to rally the troops to support him since they’re a captive audience anyway.
• DTM Mary Helen praised TM Jose’s presentation skills and how they evoked her own shared memories of miniskirts, long haired musicians, drugs and rock & roll.  Tudo Bem, Tudo Bom, as they say in Portuguese.  She Won Best Evaluator Award.
• TM Tom missed the sex part in drugs and rock & roll in today’s speech but is looking forward to enjoying the sprinkles on a chocolate frosted doughnut while listening  to the sequel.

 

 

To add to the confusion, The Word of the Day was

 

LIE

As opposed to LAY, LIED, LAIN

 

Lay is a verb that commonly means “to put or set (something) down.” Lie is a verb that commonly means “to be in or to assume a horizontal position” (or “to make an untrue statement,” but we’ll focus on the first definition). In other words, lay takes a direct object, and lie does not. As for the misconceptions, well, when you look at the two verbs next to each other in different tenses, it becomes a bit more obvious where the confusion is.

 

Example:  We hereby officially declare childhood nursery rhyme “As I lay me down to sleep” and myriads of songs such as  “Lay, Lady, Lay” “As I lay down” FORMALLY CANCELLED.

 

Elections are next week!  You must be present to decline.  Just sayin’…..

 

link to recording:    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VINws3Jxso

 

See you next week!

 

Ana

Recap Writer

Giants Behind Faces, Down Memory Lane and Lots of Spurtles - a fun meeting at Early Birds

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

TM Carmine spurtled our thoughts about skills learned at Toastmasters.  We found out that….

 

• TM Paolo has become a keen observer of vocal variety and nuance, skills that now border on perfect although not always present.
• TM Jeff’s presidential duties have taught him to decipher toddlers’ undecipherable language.
• I, Recap Ana, am not certain about the impact of anything, other than the fact that I have a blast writing zany recaps.
• TM Jonathan, perennial driver,  visits clubs mostly to announce that they have earned Distinguished President’s Award.  We were no exception.
• TM Jose has vastly spurtled his use of crutch words by vividly thinking of us, EarlyBirds, when presenting a work seminar.  He Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM Chris loves being a tech watcher because unlike her professional life audience,  she connects with us at our meetings.
• TM Jim G. embraces technology and likes to stir the pot with a spurtle although he concedes the real spurtle master is Chris.

 

The prepared speeches today provided variety and like a good spurtle, stirred our pot and our senses….

 

• TM Randolph broke out in song (to the tune of This Is A Man’s World by James Brown).   Oh and how true the message is!   He Won Best Speaker Award.
  
  

This is a man's world, this is a man's world
But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl

You see, man made the cars to take us over the road
Man made the train to carry the heavy load
Man made electric light to take us out of the dark
Man made the boat for the water, like Noah made the ark

This is a man's, man's, man's world
But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl

 

• DTM Kip took us down memory lane to the Old Trading Post, where Asian Bistros were allowed to take over those snotty French Cafes in historic Las Olas Boulevard.  In one of them, he married the girl of his dreams – after signing a corporate prenup which has helped the marriage stay strong and has kept those shares intact.

 

As for the evaluations….

 

• TM Marie praised TM Randolph for his speech, with its plethora of information, vocal variety, inspiration and fun facts.  She especially liked the fact that he implemented her suggestions from her first evaluation – a rare occurrence in these instances.    She Won Best Evaluator Award, hands down.
• TM Tom was awed by DTM Kip’s ability to knit together an excellent yarn and he, Tom, got so caught up in his own weave that the cat of Tall Tale fame reappeared and made him lose track of all time.   According to trustworthy sources, he is still evaluating Kip at 9:17 am Eastern Standard Time.

 

Our Toastmaster of the Day, TM Aleta, the woman with many last names,  graciously, good-naturedly and smoothly ran our meeting.   She is one of our group’s Zoom gifts!

 

Tech Watcher TM Jim G. verbally recapped the entire meeting and, without mentioning names,  poignantly reminded the undersigned to get my act together regarding screen sharing.  Awright already….

 

Zoom Watcher TM Barone poetically awarded TM Marie  the Best Zoom Screen Ribbon for her perfectly centered position in a corner angle room with sunrays highlighting her golden tresses and silk blouse.  He also casually alerted the group that TM Randolph’s company prints moolah.  Just sayin’.

 

Timer TM Jose actually hurled a Spanish Spurtle (‘chorro’) across the virtual Atlantic Ocean to those who overstepped their time limits.   It was inadvertently caught by TM Paolo in Italian (“mestolo”, “schizarre”).

 

The Way Overused Word of the Day was

 

SPURTLE, noun

 

A wooden Scottish kitchen tool, dating from the 15^th century, that is used to stir porridge, soups, stews and broths (and to discipline young ‘uns, prior to the Age When Parents Became Afraid Of Their Kids).

 

Recording link - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ge6JMSGmRE

 

Remember:  Group Elections are the last Thursday of May.  Available positions are

President       

VP Education

Secretary

Treasurer

VP Public Relations

VP Marketing

Sargeant-at-Arms

 

Feel free to ask the current officers for more information about the position that interests you.

 

See you next week!

 

Ana

Recap Writer

 

Too Big To Believe - Or Too Great To Ignore - Tall Tales at Early Birds

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

Our Tall Tales started off with…

 

• DTM Kip as The Pied Piper of Las Olas following a beautiful store owner and ending up with a brass rat.
• TM Tom building solid intraspecies relationships in his own private Garden of Eden. Visiting DTM Lois is moving into his back yard!
• I, Ana, recounted the story of Havana’s Gentleman from Paris, who rafted to South Florida and transformed into Barry Gibb.
• TM Aleta theatrically gardened  as Avid Gardner who splashed alcohol down her throat to remove snake toxins in a case of domestic violence while married to Ole Blue Eyes.   She Won Best Speaker Award.
• TM Marie took us in an interplanetary 3D acid trip of dreamers, tossers, turners, skywalkers, moonwalkers and skull collectors – while her hubby and tabby slept peacefully next to her.
• TM Carmine introduced us to all the dead people he knows who have turned him into a voracious reader.  He shoots for the moon and if he misses, he ends up with the stars.

 

And inverting the order of things,  we then had sequential Table Topics, wherein we embarked on a roller coaster ride:

 

• DTM Kip obsessively talked about a ruckus in an Asian Restaurant ….
• TM Chris looked through the window and saw TM Beckyjo in the midst of the ruckus and decided to walk to the (closed for renovation) Floridian, only to notice there were no cars
• TM Paolo wanted to forget about hot air balloons in Arizona and focus get invited to the scrumptious breakfast being prepared for Kip, when he remembered we are on Zoom…
• TM Randolph deep-sixed the hot air balloons going to Spain and instead decided to find out that the Las Olas commotion was because the snakes and the brass rats were eating the cat…
• DTM Lois found a garden snake wrapped around a glistening Brass Rat statue….
• TM Jim G. pondered about finding snakes in gardens, when alligators in The Everglades are overwhelmed by the itty bitty pet snakes turning into swamp reptiles.

 

Evaluations/General Evaluation:  DTM Lois gave incisive individual evaluations with audience participation.  Thank you for visiting us today!

 

Zoom Tech Report:   TM Jim G. is totally captivated by the little square boxes on the screen.  The end.

 

According to Chat Room rumor, TM Pam’s internet was taken hostage by gremlins.  It’s not a Tall Tale!       P.S.  Phone home!!!!

 

The Word of the Day was

 

DEEP SIX, noun

 

To abandon, reject, or otherwise get rid of. This slangy term dates from the mid-1900s and originated in the navy, where it meant throwing something or someone overboard. The “six” refers to the six-foot nautical fathom, the standard unit of measurement for sea depth.

 

Example:  To deep six in the Army is simply unfathomable.

 

Recording can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y94h57HROdc

 

Next week, we’re back to our usual moderate fibbing.

 

Ana

Recap Writer