Commemorations, RV Debris and Winterizing - a morning of proclivity at EarlyBirds!

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

After inducting our newest member, TM Julie, I started us off on a journey of November commemorations.  We learned that….

 

• TM Jim G. is not into football that much but he somehow manages to smuggle spicy guac in his otherwise spicy-free environs.
• TM BeckyJo has a definite proclivity to get herself into pickles without even trying.   She is now getting a whole new landscape.  She Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM Julie is defined by the sandwiches she eats but does not really care what goes in them – all the while she’s busy at the roulette.
• TM Lois is happy that we still have that remnant of olden times,  “Young Readers’ Day”, and the hardest thing she ever has to do is find a book for a young ‘un.

 

As far as prepared speeches go….

 

• TM Chris took us on RV Debris – The Sequel and artfully combined magnificent panoramic views with the Only-One-Person-Fits Kitchen, where she cooked more than the rest of her life combined.  Go figure.  Size really doesn’t matter!  She Won Best Speaker Award.
• TM Aleta explained her Western Pennsylvania home winterizing where she uses a chainsaw to amputate words frozen in midair and prefers cold air leaks to Florida temperature, humidity and average age in the 80s (Fahrenheit).

 

We had some great evaluations…

 

• TM Marie praised TM Chris for incorporating in her speech heartwarming daily RV life minutae with the magnificence of the Canadian rear view of Mount Rushmore.
• TM Tom concluded that TM Aleta could never be a politician because she actually responds to audience questions with logical relevant answers.  He Won Best Evaluator Award.

 

The Word of the Day was

 

PROCLIVITY, noun

Natural disposition or tendency

 

For example:  EarlyBirds Club has a proclivity to be chuck-full of humorous members.

 

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

 

See you in 2 weeks.  Kip has hoarded 2 speaking slots for that day.  We’re looking for hecklers!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DucQ0B-8F_M

 

With irreverence and laughter,

 

Ana I.

Recap Writer

Old proverbs, Thanksgiving, Negotiations and Leadership - a flexous morning at EarlyBirds!

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

TM Carmine started us off with some foreign proverbs.  We thus learned that….

 

• Guest Brittany’s ego got bruised by the flexuous tree that got axed.  She’d rather be a potato!
• TM Julie learned the hard way that you can’t count your chickens before the next-door predators snatch them before they hatch.  She Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM Randolph got caught in a self-imposed flexuous loop of quickly slowly hastening delaying postponing impulsivity that created a collective dizzy spell.
• TM BeckyJo talked about The Italian Game, one of the oldest Chess openings. Dating back to the the fifteenth century, the move was started by Italian players such as Damiano and Greco, hence its name ! ... As a consequence, a lot of lines in the Italian Games are made possible by this pressure on f7.  The King and the Pawn (ie all of us) end up in the dust at the end, Italian or not.
• I, Ana, fondly reminisced about being a mouse with my teenaged daughters and throwing pool parties while The Cat (aka Hubby/Dad) was away on business.

In the prepared speeches…

• TM Lois talked about a special Thanksgiving started by the Pequot natives, who planted corn, squash and beans, nuts and fruits.  For the main course, they shot deer, turkeys, and small game.  Thus, they designed the Thanksgiving menu back in 1621.  They invited the settlers who brought the marshmallows.
• TM Julie pointed out that every time we engage in conversation, we’re really in negotiation mode.  Is it a game table? Or a garage sale table? Or the dinner table?  In the latter, it’s best to be collaborative if you want to save your marriage and eat dinner in peace. 
• TM Marie practiced follow the leader behavior until her parents told her to stay away from bridges.  She is now reading Benedict’s Rule, which clearly states that to be worth following, you must drink Benedictine, a secret elixir / herbal liqueur produced in France by Benedictine monks while meditating.  It’s flavored with twenty-seven flowers, berries, herbs, roots, and spices – great for digestion! She Won Best Speaker Award. 

 

As far as evaluations….

• TM Paolo praised TM Lois for following prior suggestions, accurately positioning the lights and reading the notes in a flexous manner while preparing her Thanksgiving feast.   He Won Best Evaluator Award.
• TM Pam admired TM Julie’s neutral and nondistracting background and her good use of hands – a virtually elusive art for most of us – and suggested she pick one negotiation table for specificity, instead of depicting The History Of The World in one single poster.
• DTM Kip pointed out that TM Marie made a big flexuous splash at the end of her speech and encouraged her to buy Teleprompter Pro.  I bought one on his recommendation, too.  Question to ponder at this point:   Is Kip on their payroll? Hmmmm…..

 

The Word of the Day was 

FLEXUOUS, adj

Having curves, turns or windings

Lithe or fluid in action or movement

 

Ex:  If only they had been Toastmasters,  The Beatles could have titled their song “The Long and Flexuous Road”….

 

Here is the link for today’s recording http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPcyDH3fZAc

 

See you next week!

 

Irreverently submitted,

 

Ana I.

Recap Writer

Twisted Cliches, Age Whining and Of Being An Anchovy, an entertaining morning at EarlyBirds!

Dear Members, Friends and Guests:

 

We did not falter in the face of a morphing schedule, and I, Ana, started us off with some definitely twisted cliches….

 

• TM BeckyJo revealed that she's had some serious dreamy time warps and likes to access EarlyBirds from the comfort of her natural habitat.
• TM Aleta does not look gift unicorns in the mouth because their long protruding horn could cause irreparable indentations.
• TM Lois compared the souffle crumbles to an unfaltering resolve to approach every day crumble-free.
• TM Randolph urged everyone to let the confetti fall where it may, much like he does!
• Guest Brittany has great fun engaging in worldwide zoomeranging.
• TM Jim reminded us that after all, love is a battle between privates and corporals.
• TM Carmine rejoiced in not faltering to jiffy his way through life, in spite of shrinking parts.  He Won Best Table Topics Award.

 

We had 2 excellent prepared and unprepared speeches….

 

• TM Pam foresees the macabre day when the State of Florida (aka Heaven's waiting room) will renew her driver's license at age 102.
• In unprepared topics, DTM Kip pictured himself as an anchovy schooling in a can and the Communist plot to revise the Coca Cola recipe which led him to Pepsi.  He Won Best Speaker Award.

 

As far as evaluations go….

 

• TM Aleta praised TM Pam's ability to learn new tricks and her very clearly disdainful facial gestures as she recalls the motto:  no vax, no visit, no brainer.  She just got her 5^th booster.
• TM Chris praised DTM Kip's outstanding ability to be prepared to be funny and unprepared. It's all about eating the pizza slice pointing at him.  She Won Best Evaluator Award.

 

The Word of the Day was

 

FALTER, noun and verb

 

V: walk, talk unsteadily

N: the act of pausing uncertainly

 

Ex. When faced with smooth sailing, do not falter! Turn the boat engines on….    (Huh?? Whatever)

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlyLYPAuYm4

 

See you next week!

 

Ana I.

Recap Writer

 

 

Halloween Spontaneity, Party Crashers, Ghostly Travelogue and The Raven - a ghoulish morning at EarlyBirds!

 

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

To mark the start of a FUN Halloween meeting, tuxedoed and top-hatted Amazing TM Aleta launched us with very a propos topics.   We discovered that….

 

• TM Marie’s black cats – Puma, Suma and Sammy Miami – are very friendly and bring her good luck, although their noses and their warts protrude at night and they sleep freakingly close to the broom closet….  Just sayin….
• TM Jose plans to take flowers and clean the tomb of departed loved ones and then join millions of Madrid residents in a tumultuously horrendous traffic caravan straight to the nearest beach.  It beats picnicking in a Mexican graveyard!  He Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM BeckyJo positively thinks stealing candy from a trick-or-treater bag is the crime of all crimes.  BeckyJo’s own mother stole candy from her bag when she was 8 years old and BeckyJo is still in therapy to this day.
• TM Chris highly doubts she will meet a vampire or a werewolf because she, Chris, turns into a pumpkin at 7 pm and dreams about the headless horse in The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.
• TM Jeff is declining the offer of a high salary paid by now-hiring Ghostbusters, Inc. because he’s got too much going on right now getting married and whatnot.
• TM Paolo dearly misses his young daughters’ mischievous trick-or-treating in their outgrown Halloween costumes and will be a candy-hoarding Gondoliere trick-or-treater on All Hallows’ Eve.

 

We then proceeded to prepared speeches….

 

• TM Lois donned a feather mask and, party girl extraordinaire, told us of her memorable costume party where her younger brother exercised his lifelong role as party crasher.
• I, Ana, also donned the same feather mask (Party City special) and took the group on an otherworldy magic carpet ride of weird, weirder and weirdest superstitions.
• TM Jim G. looked the part in a maddeningly horrendous 18^th century night cap and delivered his extraordinary rendition of The Raven.   He Won Best Speaker Award.

 

As far as evaluations….

 

• TM Paolo loved TM Lois’s speech and is definitely counting on being invited to her next party.  Otherwise he’ll crash it.
• DTM Kip liked my speech, word usage and my quick recovery from note-fumbling.  He seriously encourages me to buy a White House-style teleprompter (currently a Best Buy special).
• TM Marie praised TM Jim G.’s delivery of the heart-wrenching story from love to madness, avoiding Raven singsong and making good use of a hoodie.  She Won Best Evaluator Award.

 

The Word of the Day was

 

HORRENDOUS, adj.

Shockingly dreadful

 

Ex.: Horrendous is a catchy word – everyone used it multiple times during the meeting today.

 

Thank you, Kip, for taking on multiple roles – General Evaluator, Evaluator, Timer.  You are truly an inspiration to our group.

 

Here’s the link for the recording:

 

link https://youtu.be/wYrbSnrLDCI

 

See you next week!

 

Ana

Recap Writer

Miscellaneous Quotes, Cigar Smoking, On The Road and Pathways, not the Doldrums - an entertaining morning in EarlyBirds

Dear Members, Friends and Guests:

 

TM Pam started us off with great quotes that inspired us….

 

• TM Lois dreamily conjured up devoted visions of Gregory Peck, whose memory opens doors in her faithful heart.
• TM Tom revealed that improving with age is not gender-specific and his own mother was the best example.   He Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM Aleta’s all-time favorite is Lucille Ball, whose formula for old age was honesty – except about her own age.  TM Aleta diverges from this theory by revealing her true age.
• TM Paolo agrees that it takes courage to grow up to become who you really are – recently demonstrated by his family’s major decision to partially relocate across the pond.
• TM Marie feels pure unmitigated terror that her crazy high school classmates are now running the country.  She rests her case.
• TM Carmine agrees that old age and treachery beats youth and exuberance while he’s challenged to correct his weekly calendar to the right day.
• TM Jim G. fully concurs with Einstein’s theory that human stupidity is infinite and thinks Al should have better managed his uncoiffed hair, but then, it’s all relative.
• DTM Mary Helen thinks the bastion of education is New Hampshire, closely followed by Massachusetts.  At least they know where New Mexico is!

 

Along came our prepared speeches…

 

• I, Ana, reminisced descriptively about the cigar cabal.  From the onset, the industry was an Equal Opportunity Employer (see attached pictures of he/she cigar rollers).  It was just not COED.
• TM Chris shared tales from the road as RV Debris, never Trailer Trash.  The audience clamored for a Part II, Part III and Part IV.   She Won Best Speaker Award.
• DTM Kip pushed Pathways with a detailed presentation that reminds us, again, that we don’t need to consider it the doldrums, just choose one of 11 paths and move on.

 

Lastly, the evaluations…

 

• DTM Kip enjoyed my speech and suggested I strategically position my notes so my eyeballs don’t bounce up and down – it’s quite distracting.  He Won Best Evaluator Award.
• TM Tom called TM Chris’s speech whimsical, delightful, entertaining and wants to know more about how they enjoy the outdoors while making scrambled eggs in a moving vehicle.
• TM Carmine congratulated DTM Kip for his comprehensive presentation and pondered how he makes it sound so easy.  He encouraged DTM Kip to engage in thunderous speech finales.

 

The Word of the Day was

 

CABAL, noun

 

A group secretly united in a plot.

 

Example:  Our children form a most potent cabal against the parentals.

 

Welcome back, Gondoliere Paolo, we look forward to you representing our Club at the next contest level!!

 

Recording Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kuYm64nxa4

 

See you next week for our Halloween-themed meeting!

 

Irreverently submitted,

 

Ana I.

Recap Writer

 

 

Humor, Humor and Zoomeranging - an indigenous morning at EarlyBirds

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

I, Ana I., started the morning with comedian quotes:

 

• TM Lois is impatiently trying to slow down, a surefire way to achieve fast-acting relief – much like Dalka Peltzer.
• TM Carmine concluded in no uncertain terms that Elvis Pelvis will not be remembered in 100 years – while several in the meeting reported Pelvis sightings as Carmine spoke.
• TM Jeff had a near-meltdown while pondering on the incongruity of the misnomer rush hour.
• TM Chris reflected on her Book of Morning Meditation, The Jokes of Tao, and officially agreed not to pet sweaty stuff anymore.
• TM Marie admired the inherent quality of siblinghood’s life mission – to push buttons and annoy for a lifetime.  She Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM Jose is grateful not to live in northern neighborhoods where 22 hours of darkness are spent drinking and eating salmon.  He much prefers eating tapas and drinking vino in 10 hours of light a day!
• DTM Kip compared North Carolinians, where he’s currently vacationing, to truck-driving rats.  He unequivocally stated they are indigenous to the area.

 

And then we heard prepared speeches…

 

• In a move that was clear as mud, TM Aleta divided her speech into 2 parts and went rogue on the first segment.  In the second segment, she avoided giving a sermonette, although she did quote humorous scripture which raised the endorphin levels of the crowd.
• TM Jim described the initially somewhat bumpy road from Denise’s to Zoomland and takes full credit for how we Early Birds have Zoomeranged.  He Won Best Speaker Award.

 

Lastly came the evaluations…

 

• TM Tom praised TM Aleta’s vitality, enthusiasm, engaging talents,  great sense of humor and was recently spotted signing up for Aleta’s  Unconditional Fan Club.
• DTM Kip enjoyed TM Jim’s tale, “The Saga of EarlyBird’s Person-to-Zoom Transition” and has formally applied for the movie rights.  He Won Best Evaluator Award.

 

The Word of the Day was

 

INDIGENOUS, adj.

 

• Living or occurring natively in a particular region or environment.
• Relating to the earliest known inhabitants of a place, and especially of a place colonized by the now dominant group.
• Opposing Cristoforo Colombo, Cristobal Colon, Christopher Columbus – who sailed west to go east,  didn’t know where he had landed, but somehow managed to get financed -twice- by a woman, known familiarly as Isa.
•  

• YouTube Recording link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXBFzHxfzxk

 

See you next week!

 

Ana I.

Recap Writer

Idioms, Marrakesh Express, Chicago World Fair and Virtual Hurdles, a blockbuster EarlyBird meeting!

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

TM Tom exacerbated the duplicitous confusion of some of us ESLrs (English-as-a-Second-Language) with some unusual idioms. 

 

For example…

 

• TM Lois is convinced that the right stuff consists of being a motivational speaker.  Period. Fullstop.
• TM Paolo was able to duplicitously ramble on about going for the brass ring because he only actually heard the ring, not the brass.
• DTM Kip made hay by burning money annually while working for the government as their motto is ‘use it or lose it’ (mostly abuse it).
• I, Ana, complained that modern parents make children picky eaters who eat neither fish nor fowl, only chicken fingers and greasy pizzas.
• TM Jim G. stays away from flat-footed projects and is as quick as a marsupial.  He Won Best Table Topics Award.

 

We had fabulous prepared speeches…

 

• TM Jose took us on a visual tour of Marrakesh, its tastes, smells, sounds.  “Take Me To The Kasbah”, courtesy of cheap Ryan Air, where you practically fly standing and pray while facing Mecca that the plane doesn’t land on top of the Minaret!
• TM Pam revealed to us, the unsuspecting audience, that our beloved Ferris Wheels were invented in the Chicago 1893 World’s Fair (held in the Midway section of town which is now merely an airport), along with the Pledge of Allegiance (now slightly adulterated) and the explorer formerly known as Christopher Columbus (now wokely commemorated as Native American Day).   Duplicitous, duplicitous, duplicitous is the present!
• Guest TM Julie took us over the hoops and hurdles of virtual technology in a speech chock-full of non-duplicitous tips and tricks. The key to success is audio, audio, audio… and wearing a sweaty headband.   She Won Best Speaker Award.

 

As far as evaluations….

 

• DTM Kip praised Jose’s charming eye contact, ease and comfort of speech delivery and suggested to superimpose zoom on the PowerPoint to avoid duplicitous power struggles.
• TM Chris reviews old speeches from TM Pam for hidden revelations and wants to know all about the serial killer who stalked the crowds at the 1893 Chicago World Fair (Mayor Daley’s great-great-grandpa?)
• TM Marie commended TM Julie on her speech and was extremely relieved – like the rest of us- to learn that the unplanned howling background noise did not refer to TM Julie’s husband.  She Won Best Evaluator Award.

 

The Word of the Day was

 

DUPLICITOUS, noun

Given to – or marked by – deceptiveness in behavior or speech

 

Example:  Being duplicitous is synonymous with being a politician – it’s clearly stated in the job description.

 

Recording link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBGMwQ2L-fc

 

See you next week!

 

Ana

Recap Writer

Idioms, Missing Coats, The 4th Level and Shotgun Conflict Resolution - bedlam at the Early Bird Corral

 

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

TM Carmine led us on more Idioms based on the word GET.   Get it? Got it! Good!

 

• TM Aleta gets a kick by making lemonade out of lemons – her new neighbors crashed their car against her property fence but oh well, now they’ve become BFF.
• TM Jose has learned as a tall man he can’t sit in the back row of the classroom any more, and he gets off the hook by keeping the fish by hook or by crook.
• I, Ana, have done most things in my life by getting into the swing of it and found an area of compatibility with my swing dance partner, aka my husband.  I Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM Mary  is building back the bedlam of the last few weeks by getting on the ground floor and trying to steer her virtual students into a bedlamless life.
• TM BeckyJo just realized that her Dad pretended to like her friends but in reality was engaging in water sports child slave labor.
• TM Randolph’s motto is get up and go – for starters (pun intended) he’s the family’s alarm clock and gets the whole day going.
• Reporting from a lasagna aroma-filled room back home, TM Paolo cleans the body pipes regularly by confronting others and getting things off his chest.

 

Along came the prepared speeches…

 

• TM Lois delighted us with a story of her lost & found David leather coat purchased in Florence, Italy, returned to her by Michelangelo Buonarotti himself.   She Won Best Speaker Award.
• TM Jim G. developed his Level 4 plan and built an ipso-facto team made up of ‘all y’all’ unsuspecting EarlyBirds.   More to follow!
• TM Tom regaled us with a tale of his great-grandpa who lived in Coffeyville, Kansas, where they had bank vaults on timers and resolved conflict with The Daltons via shotgun and had them sign up for a tv series.

 

As far as evaluations….

 

• TM Jeff admired TM Lois’s storytelling capabilities and good vocal variety and suggested cliffhangers are not the best way to end a speech.   He Won Best Evaluator Award.
• TM Aleta praised TM Jim G. for his impeccable virtual manners and his uncanny ability to rope us into his team without all y’all even noticing.
• DTM Kip lauded TM Tom for his tale of a gunfight on Main Street which has provided Tom with invaluable skills to deal with HOA bedlam conflict resolution.

 

In case you didn’t GET it yet, the Word of the Day was

 

BEDLAM, noun

 

Pandemonium, chaos

 

Example:   Peaceful evenings preceded bedlam at the OK Corral, now known as a national chain called Snarky Tones BBQ and Grill.

 

Meeting Recording is at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JjWdXoDBkA

 

See you next week!

 

Ana I.

Recap Writer

Profound Observations, Gestures, U-Boats and Communication Styles - a varied assortment at EarlyBirds

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

TM Aleta led us with an inspirational invocation followed by thought-provoking topics.  We noticed that….

 

• TM Jose, who used to think a good life consisted of fast motorcycles, cars and loud music now searches for happiness inside, paired with fast cars, loud music and solid family relationships.  He Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM Lois Lane confirmed that names are important to her, so much so that she sometimes sings people’s names while searching for those now non-existent telephone booths.
• If TM Jeff could teach one concept to humanity it would be that every opinion is worthwhile, starting with his own.  He’s the sworn enemy of smugness and groupthink.
• I, Ana, believe that pain is part of life, but suffering is optional.  I make a story about everything because I drag around old suitcases without wheels.
• To find out who people really are and why they behave the way they do, DTM Mary Helen asks them if they got enough sleep the night before.  Invariably, the answer is NO.
• DTM Jim believes animals have the same feelings as humans but, unlike humans, they know the true meaning of respect.  It’s all because they sleep 20 hours a day.

 

We were inspired by some of the over-loquacious speakers, which inspired the (stoic) Timer to use the blinking screen lights feature….

 

• Eternal Pathways traveller TM Carmine gave us an interactive course of commonly used facial, upper torso, arms and shoulder gesticulations.   It turns out he and our today-absent Gondoliere President majored in Pronounced Gestures for Very Italian People at the University of Civitavecchia.
• TM Chris recounted the under-publicized story of German U-Boats which mercilessly sank US Merchant Marine ships off the coast of Virginia and North Carolina.  Ship explosions provided weekend entertainment for local families in those slow post-war years.   For more details, watch the excellent movie Das Boot.
• At meteoric speed, DTM Kip showed us slides of communication styles and his scores – then and now.  Once he realized TM is not the military, his communication style changed from Direct to Mellow.   He Won Best Speaker Award.

 

And lastly, we heard some excellent evaluations….

 

• TM Tom loved TM Carmine’s speech, the enthusiasm, the facial gestures, the zest, the shoulder shrugs, and the spontaneous audience interpretation.  He Won Best Evaluator Award.
• DTM Kip admired TM Chris’s storytelling talent and encouraged her to make the slides of ships blowing up her virtual background, for added effect.
• TM Jeff praised DTM Kip’s next evolution of our zooming capabilities by the way the speaker used the slides.  In a frequent occurrence -and due to suffering from a Zoom curse- Jeff’s audio went KAPUT as he was finishing his evaluation.

 

The Word of the Day was

 

INSPIRE, verb

fill (someone) with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.

"his passion for romantic literature inspired him to begin writing"

 

The link for the meeting recording:

 

https://youtu.be/d5_TlcKR9mc

 

See you next week!

 

Ana

Recap Writer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Best and worst, Joys of Parenting, Moments of Grace and Body Language - all in a day's meeting at Early Birds

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

DTM Jim D. gave us thought-provoking ‘best and worst’ topics.  We thus learned that….

 

• TM Aleta’s latest best decision was to singlehandedly fix her lawnmower’s beastly broken belt.   Proof positive that alliterations allow us to do anything!
• TM Carmine described exotic foods – sheep’s brains, snails, prickly pear (martinis) and alerted us to the fact that spaghetti was the origin of the swimming pool game called “Marco Polo”.
• I, Ana, had an influential friend and mentor who taught me how to be an attorney impostor while conducting legal research in computer demos.
• TM Chris’s latest worst decision was to bike to what she thought was a nearby restaurant which turned out to be 18 miles away.  Ever the positive person that she is, she realized that her 3-month exercise quota was met!
• TM Tom makes it all about today’s mindfulness in checking the bucket’s water level periodically to see what he can learn, or unlearn, on any given day.
• TM Pam has found a memory-jogging word – bucket- which reminds her to ride the scooter to buy a stroller.  She Won Best Table Topics Award.

 

Along came prepared speeches…

 

• TM Bastien described some of the tragi-comedic joys of parenting, which give God space to have a few hearty laughs and gifts parents with access to Sponge Rants Bobby and his cohorts.
• TM Marie urged us to shed our personas – those false bravado masks we wear- and reconsider giving moments of grace to others.  In other words, let them fulfill your To Do lists!    She Won Best Speaker Award.
• DTM Kip gave us solid body language coaching: renounce shared screen foolishness, avoid virtual background flaming, accept being seduced by moving objects, use the mirror function to trim your beard,  and for a dramatic speech finale, lock knees and fall over.

 

As far as evaluations are concerned….

 

• TM Pam praised TM Randolph for his vivid descriptions, encouraged him to pursue the Humor Pathways – it’s the only way to survive parenting multiple children.  She speaks from experience.   She Won Best Evaluator Award.
• TM Jim G. commended TM Marie for her camera awareness which equals eye contact in Zroom world and for implementing his suggestions from the first evaluation.
• TM Tom was inspired by DTM Kip’s ever-improving level of performance, ease of delivery and for giving us a new meaning of the concept of flaming.

 

The Word of the Day was

 

VIBRATO, noun

 

Rapid, slight vibration in pitch while singing or playing a musical instrument, producing a stronger or richer tone.

 

Example:  I excel at vibrato when someone – literally and figuratively-  steps on my toes.

 

See you next week!

 

Irreverently submitted,

 

Ana I.

Recap Writer

 

Link to the recording - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouaYhMN-TXg

Humor x 5 and Rain - The Humorous Speech Contest at EarlyBirds

 

Dear Members, Friends and Guests:

 

Aptly led by Contest Master Pam and persnickety Chief Judge Kip, we enjoyed our Humorous Speech Contest:

 

• I, Ana, related the true sea (mis)adventures of Captain Wacky and The Motley Crew, who were on first-name basis with the Fort Lauderdale Coast Guard.  I placed Third.
• TM BeckyJo reminisced about the panic of Y2K and catering a multitudinous World-Ending Party where To Beet Or Not To Beet became the ultimate question.   She placed Second.
• TM Tom reflected on his coal miner grandpa, who stemmed from Pittsburgh, Kansas (why do multiple cities have the same names?  To confuse foreigners, no doubt) and had to send telegrams to his wife to please hang up the phone and get the $100 chocolate cake recipe going in the oven, once and for all.
• Gondolier TM Paolo regaled us with the song “Volare…. Ooooh… Cantare…. Oh-Oh-Oh-O” while he gesticulated his way through a 5 to 7 minute body language demonstration of a few inimitable Italian gestures.   Ma che cosa???  (learned in utero by Italian babies)….   Nel Blu, Dipinto di Blu…..”   He Won First Place.  Go, Paolo!  You will represent our Club well.
• TM Aleta vividly pictured tough love from one of our Toastmasters pioneers, VH, who passed down invaluable lessons, was at times a mentor, at times a demontor and at times a tormentor.  She is fondly remembered by those who survived and stopped using unnecessary fillers.

 

While ballots were counted, recounted and inspected for hanging chads, TM Carmine introduced rainy Table Topics….

 

• TM Marie turned Italian in front of our very eyes and gesticulated her way through the concept that into each life some rain must fall.  She Won Best Table Topics Award.
• DTM Mary Helen grew up in a farm with a shallow well where she enjoyed outdoor showering with rainwater and invented the trendy GlamCamping.
• TM Jeff thinks moderation is key – his newly planted lawn got too much rain and now he’s had to switch careers to mushroom farmer.
• TM Lois loves the fact that the rain in Spain stays mainly in the plains and feels fragant and loving when she watches spring flowers thriving.
• DTM Jim D. aka Wichita Lineman revealed that Wichita has Dimpled Car Sales and tiny houses have 4-car garages to protect autos from the inevitable pelting hale.

 

Here’s the link to the recording:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NA6ykeBcfo

 

See you next week!

 

Ana I.

Recap Writer

Play, Mondo Cane and Path Adrift - another impetuous morning at EarlyBirds!

 

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

TM Marie introduced PLAY-related topics.  We soon found out that…

 

• TM Beckyjo taught hundreds of long-haired, impetuous teenagers (erroneously known as humans) the intricacies of child play, aka Roasting S’Mores At The Firepit.  She Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM Jeff’s attention span has diminished with the advent of cable tv while sadly concluding that baseball is America’s national pastime for not too much longer.
• TM Lois has discovered that as a young older person she can get away with anything and has chosen “Lighten Up” as her motto in life.
• TM Chris recently watched legendary movie Thulma & Eloisa, riddled with innocent women’s play misinterpreted as foul play.  Personally, I just remember yummy Brood Pity.
• In an unprecedented feat, TM Carmine managed to recap  Play It Again, Mam, from the 1972 movie by Broody Alien – a spinoff of the original Casanegra.
• TM Bastien has several playlists for bbqs and workouts, but the soundtrack of Freezing is forever indelibly etched in his mental Spoofy Fi.

 

 

And then came the prepared speeches….

 

• TM Pam, a self-described conservative flaming liberal, is torn between getting a low-class mutt or one of these trendy pedigreed genetically-altered snobs for gullible Gen X-ers…

Goldendoodle (Golden Retriever + Poodle) ...Labradoodle (Labrador Retriever + Poodle) ...Puggle (Pug + Beagle) ...Cockapoo (Cocker Spaniel + Poodle)… Schnoodle (Poodle + Schnauzer) ...Goldador (Golden Retriever + Labrador Retriever) ...Yorkipoo (Yorkshire Terrier + Poodle).  Fannie the Cat has the last MEEAAOOW.   She Won Best Speaker Award.

• DTM Kip, soon to join our roster ranks as perennial vacationer, regaled us with a clear-as-mud visual of the contorted paths most of us have impetuously chosen in our (public speaking) lives.  Time to cough up another $20 and make a path detour!

 

As far as evaluations….

 

• DTM Mary Helen lauded TM Pam’s legendary position in the upper intelligence echelons of our Club, exemplified by audible sighs of exasperation, consternation and resignation.
• Impressed by DTM Kip’s speech, TM Tom suggested that EarlyBirds virtually move to Lake Woe Be Gone, whose motto is "Sumus Quot Sumus" ("We are what we are").   He Won Best Evaluator Award.

 

The Word of the Day was

 

IMPETUOUS, adj.

Characterized by undue haste and lack of thought and deliberation

 

Example:  Impetuous spending is a favorite hobby of the multitudes.

 

Next week is our Humorous Speech Contest!  Let’s make it HA-LA-RIOUS.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFKtxJIOpeY

Legendary Quotes, Distinguished Clubs, Shakespearean Swine, Think and Grow Rich - very instructive EarlyBird meeting

 

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

To get us started on this  Peak of the Week Thursday (TM Paolo’s original quote) I, TM Ana,  introduced some quotes from funny people…

 

• TM Chris wondered how language originally developed from grunts, screams and identifying the source of our distress, to Berlitz School of International Language for Chronic Complainers.  She Won Best Table Topics Award.
• DTM Jim D. reflected that life has up and down moments and escalators, it’s tit for tat, and to be both amazed and happy, we need to remove politicians and replace them with real people.
• TM Jim fondly recalled “Uncle Milty” and corroborated that when life gives you lemons, you need to build a door with a loud door knocker.
• TM Randolph, popularly known as “Hat Rack” for his multitasking (and multiparenting) capabilities, finds it challenging to slow down.  Thanks for all you do for our Club, TM Randolph!
• Our other multiparental, TM Paolo, believes pain is gain at the gym and welcomes lessons at the University of Failure  while sipping a café longo.
• TM Carmine appreciates Mark Twain’s political commentary stating that arrogant people, as their description attests, are really arrogant.
• TM Jeff and his fiancée are singlehandedly keeping the U.S. Post Office in business by stamping Thank You envelopes for events that haven’t even happened yet.

 

As far as prepared speeches are concerned…

 

• DTM Kip showed us TMI’s 10-point Matrix for attaining Distinguished President’s Club while going up the down staircase of life and marveled at his innate capacity to make a dull topic fascinating for the rest of us.  Go Kip!!
• TM Aleta, heretofore to be known as “The Bardess of Avon, West Pennsylvania” regaled us with a tale of Three Diminutive Swine, the third of which hailed from the American Colonies and started the campaign “Made in the USA” long before wolves devoured bricks.  She Won Best Speaker Award.
• DTM Mary Helen silently disagrees with TMI’s Communications Style survey.  Notwithstanding the foregoing, she thinks and grows rich by tap dancing on the divine power of the Universe.

 

As far as Evaluations go…

 

• TM Chris praised DTM Kip for filling in the program voids, and bowed down in reverence.  In an almost-unprecedented election sweep, She Won Best Evaluator Award.
• DTM Kip urged TM Aleta to take her Tale of Swine in Stratford-upon-Thames to the humorous contest, where she will be able to run around and act out.  We, as a Club, need to match commercial TV if we’re to get anywhere in the TMI World of Contests.
• TM Jeff admires DTM Mary Helen’s contagious energy and enthusiasm and then he lost audio and left the rest to our imagination….

 

The Word of the Day was

 

GRATITUDE, noun

The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation and to return kindness.

 

Example:   Living by the Mamas and the Papas’ little ditty (wokefully modified) rather than a platitude, will elicit musical gratitude from our loved ones:

 

Words of love, soft and tender
Won't win a person’s heart anymore
If you love them then you must send them
Somewhere where they’ve never been before
Worn out phrases and longin' gazes
Won't get you where you want to go

 

Dates to remember:  Sept 9, Club Humorous Contest.  No breakout rooms required.

 

here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npbWBtBU_HA

 

 

See you next week!

 

Ana I.

Recap Writer