Humorous contest - let's have some fun at EarlyBirds Toastmasters!!

 Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

Our humorous speech contest started off with a rap’s inspirational lines (rapped to the tune of ….. rap)

 

• Everybody lookin' at you crazy (crazy!)
  What you gonna do? (what you gonna do?)
  Lift up your head and keep moving (keep moving)
  Or let the paranoia haunt you (haunt you)?…An attempted break-in at a Denny’s in his youth took TM Jeff, instead, to the Boulevard of Broken Rapper Dreams… He made the local paper’s front lines as the fastest runner East of the Metacomet Range.  He Won Second Place.

 

• TM Aleta fondly reminisced about her Relay for Recovery, where she piggy-backed her little friend Courtney across 3 football fields while dragging a Flintstone-style homemade cardboard box on wheels.   Aleta has singlehandedly supported her chiropractor for decades now.  He’s been spotted lighting  candles for Relay for Recovery.

 

• TM Joe hilariously told us about one of his wacky Sicilian family’s vacation to Canada with huge watermelons flying inside the car every time  his aggressive driver father hit the brakes, Uncle Enrico the exhibitionist traumatizing the kids, his father dumping a banana peel and the car keys into the dark woods.  Joe sold the movie rights to National Lampoon Goes On A Gitto Vacation and the rest is ….literally…. history.    He Won First Prize.
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• TM Carmine introduced us to Senator Big Jim Foghorn, an independent thinking Californian with a Southern drawl, who taught us valuable lessons about money, greed and taking bribes from every side.   In other words, your average politician.
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• TM Pam is a self-described somewhat woke person, who has discovered that Pinot Grigio couples very nicely with Cheetos while lying on the couch.  It’s also known as seal repair (pothead) while eating a kiwi fruit and learning native New Zealand language.   “A person walks into a bar, another person walks into a bar, a third person ducked.” Get with the joke telling, unwoke people!  She won Third Prize.
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• We received the visit of several members of a Toastmasters Club in Southern India.  Virtual technology has removed barriers of distance and time.
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Below is the recording for the meeting:

• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luiwdxmCIp0
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• See you next week!
•  
• Ana I.
• Recap Writer

Maya Angelou's wisdom and Mentoring, Mentoring - an educational morning at EarlyBirds

 

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

TM Carmine started us off the inspirational quotes by Maya Angelou, and we discovered that…

 

• TM Chris tries to be a rainbow in someone’s life, not rain on anyone’s parade, and to sing like a bird- even when caged.  She Won Best Table Topics Award.
• Guest TM Roosevelt has realized that love saves all and we’re all more alike than we’re different.  He remembers his father’s proud smile when he (Roosevelt) made a great athletic pass as a youngster.
• Returning TM Mildred highlighted that great achievements require time – but most importantly, they require knowledge.
• TM Jeff has worked diligently to achieve work-life harmony – beyond balance – and takes inspiration from Jeff Bezos.
• TM Aleta pointed out that most people don’t show their true colors at first, then followed with a good rendition of Good Golly Miss Molly.
• DTM Jim D., bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 3:00 am local Anchorage, Alaska time – NOT- recommended we all wear masks to avoid illness.
• TM Jim G. urged everyone to VOTE on November 3 or forever hold your peace. 

 

Then came prepared speeches from two of our beloved TM Titans:

 

• DTM Kip, ever the  rugged individualist, used to be his own counsel and messed up any genuine attempts by others to mentor him. Now older and wiser, he recognizes that rules are meant to be bent, not ignored, and acts accordingly.   He Won Most Improved Speaker Award.
• DTM Mary Helen cleverly interwove her personal life when she developed a zest for books. They provided a window into another world.  She’s currently in a TM Book Club and they are reading Dale Carnegie’s 1936 all-time best seller “How To Win Friends and Influence People”.  Conclusion:  back to basics.  She Won Best Speaker Award.

 

As for evaluations….

 

• TM Pam lauded DTM Kip for turning a corner and delivering a positive speech about mentoring.  As a result, she’s all in for the mentoring movement. She Won Best Evaluator Award.
• TM Tom loved the artful way in which DTM Mary Helen interwove her family life and being a book aficionado to her ability to win friends and influence people.

 

The Word of the Day was

 

AFICIONADO, noun

 

Very knowledgeable and enthusiastic about an activity, subject or pastime.

 

Next week is our Humorous Speech Contest.  Come ready to laugh and have a good time!

 

If you’re interested in the Book Club (Saturdays at 7 pm) please email DTM Mary Helen directly for login information.

 

Below is the link to today’s recording

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YU_KjsEjXbA

 

See you next week!

 

Ana I.

Recap Writer

Win/Win Masks, Evaluations and A Variety of Adventures - a fun contest at EarlyBirds!

 

Dear Members, Guests (yes, from Durban, South Africa and from Tokyo, Japan) and Friends,

 

TM Aleta did a fantabulous job as Contest Master and DTM Kip was our Chief Judge par excellence.  Our Test speaker, TM Charu, delighted us with…

 

“Everyone Wins When Everyone Wears A Mask”, in which she persuaded us with power that the unshackled facts speak forcefully to uncover blood in the hands of those who don’t believe in the spaghetti monster.   It turned out to be tomato sauce….

 

• TM Beckyjo praised the speaker’s gracious tongue-in-cheek and scrupulous bashing.  She Won Runner Up Award.
• TM Jeff pointed out that it’s a blasphemous concept to not wear a mask, especially when eating spaguetti.   He Won Third Place Award.
• TM Tom liked the analogy of carrots boosting the economy and the allure of the speaker’s dangling earrings while he wore  a coordinated mask/tie ensemble.
• TM Marie encouraged the speaker to proclaim her truth with gusto and own her power.  She Won First Place Award.

 

While ballots and hanging chads were counted and backroom schemes took place,  DTM Kip led us in adventurous Table Topics:

 

• TM Denis competes with self, cooperates with others – and loves the DUSI Canoe Marathon, where he hauls his canoe over the shoulder across a mountain range….   (Note from Recap Writer:  No comment….)
• TM Pam loves to be Chief Judge in a contest because she scrupulously takes bribes,  especially the Fort Lauderdale Boat Parade, where her guests floated tiny boats on her swimming pool and won a prize for most lit boat or boat owner.
• TM Kei was attending his first contest and liked it so much that he’s now motivated to participate in DUSI Canoe Marathons with TM Denis.
• DTM Mary Helen relishes being assistant to DTM Kip in contests.  She pointed out she won several contests with an -in her estimation- unfunny tale about her love affair/altercation with an ostrich.
• TM Annie has planned many contests and much prefers planning them than participating in them.  Her mind is made up so let’s not shackle her with the facts.   She Won Best Table Topics Award.

 

The Word of the Day is

 

SCRUPULOUS, adjective

 

Diligent, thorough, paying great attention to detail, having integrity.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCDbg2ljgpA

 

See you next week!

 

Ana

Recap Writer

Technobabble, Renaisscattered Woman and Pathways Choke Points -another fun meeting of EarlyBirds

 

Dear Members, Guests and Friends:

 

Table Topic Master  Chris delved into the linguistic semantics of technology.

 

• DTM Mary Helen definitely thinks Google is Goddle with a few typos and inverted letters.
• Visiting TM Charu pondered about the bittersweet story of Yahoo – exuberant in Hindi and a cautionary tale of the fall of a technogiant.
• TM Jose thought metadata is a Greek deity who cavorts with Amazons in the rainforest writing code.  He Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM Jim G. liked the comic book Androids- which allow us to move our consciousness into newer buildings.  Ahhhh if only…..
• TM Aleta had never heard the word QR Code before but she’s pretty sure it’s the precursor of Q-Tips.
• TM Carmine thanks Chrome Books for allowing him to communicate simply while reading Android comic books.

 

Next….

 

• TM Marie delighted us with her speech about her stance as a Scattered Renaissance Woman.  Her scrutinizing lens provided the silver lining in the Covid clutter cloud before the avalanche from her bedroom closet shattered it to pieces.   She Won Best Speaker Award.
• DTM Kip asserted that, much like his own life, Pathways runs in circles.   He worries about folks who will be found on the floor, dehydrated next to their computers from their inability to log in.  That’s the first snarkily choke point in Pathways. He Won Most Improved Speaker Award.

 

As for evaluations….

 

• TM Charu praised TM Marie for her eloquent speech and particularly liked the closet avalanche analogy because she periodically experiences them herself.

She Won Best Evaluator Award.

• TM Aleta praised DTM Kip for his storytelling abilities and his open dinner invitations to friends or strangers who agree to evaluate his speeches.  Anything to get through Level 5 in Pathways.  She’s particularly glad that he likes mushrooms.

 

 

The Word of the Day was

 

CORNICHE, noun

 

A road built along the coast or along the face of a cliff.

 

Ex.:  Do not eat Cornish Hens while driving in a Rolls Royce Corniche along the California corniche – you’ll get grease on the upholstery.

 

Our visitor TM  Miznuma K. invited us to visit her club, Tokyo ESS TM.

 

Here’s a recording of today’s meeting: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udtvz00pnIw

 

 

And here’s a path along the labyrinthine Pathways:

 

https://d4tm.org/index.php/educational-program/pathways/paths-and-projects.html?22LoaO

 

See you next week at the Speech Evaluation Contest!

 

Ana I.

Recap Writer

 

Nuances, movie romances and techcircumstances - another fun morning at EarlyBird

 

Dear Members, Guests and Friends:

 

Table Topics was about English idioms – senseless sayings that are part of our daily vernacular and make foreigners scratch their puzzled heads.  And so we learned that….

 

• DTM Kip is the fountain of all knowledge and reminisced about the days pre-anesthesia, when soldiers got their legs sawed off while biting a bullet to preserve their teeth by the skin.   He Won Best Table Topics Award.
• Avid diver TM Jim G.has cleverly concluded that having a shark pull your leg would not be what you might describe as comfortable.
• DTM Mary Helen wistfully reminisced about her (then) soon-to-be husband wrapping his head around any clothes he could find in the closet on their wedding day. That sealed the deal – head wraparounds are forever.
• Visiting TM Denis is determined to avoid engaging in wild goose chases because in his native South Africa, geese are like tigers, and tigers are… well, also tigers, so that’s not an option.
• Although he thinks literally there is no skin in our teeth, TM Joe has had a lifetime of barely getting by – starting in elementary school.  He’s made it so far and plans to continue to do so.
• TM Jeff’s ship has sailed, both in a nautical sense and in golf terms, but he’s looking forward to the next ship’s arrival.
• TM Marie is the Rainmaking Queen –attendance at public events she chaired was counted by wet tickets from the rain of cats, dogs  (and ales) that she had conjured up.

 

Along came the prepared speeches….

 

• Glittering, glamourous TM Aleta regaled us with a nostalgic look at the world of  social issues, racism, patriotism, infidelity, crime and romance, which came together through the magic of movies - ahhh the tricky durability of celluloid (today MP3s).    She treated everyone to popcorn.  She Won Best Speaker Award.
• Amid noisy hecklers, an unperturbed TM Chris (aka Mrs. Geek) displayed her deep knowledge of the smart phone, which is decidedly smarter than us- but not smarter than her!   Note from Recap Writer:  Sorry to burst anyone’s bubble.   She Won Most Improved Speaker Award.

 

As for the evaluations….

 

• TM Tom praised TM Aleta for her glamorous speech masterfully delivered by smart phone in the unnuanced environment of a West Pennsylvania McDonald’s.  None of us could have pulled it off, for sure.
• TM Jeff commended TM Chris for her generous sharing of such important information and suggested that she be more forceful in addressing hecklers (this goes for life in general).   He Won Best Evaluator Award.

 

Evaluating our entire meeting, TM Pam clarified that the hecklers were preplanned, lest EarlyBirds’ reputation be forever marred by those who hear the recording without this important piece of knowledge.   (There’s a lot at hanging in the balance here, folks!)   Our Grammarian TM Marie praised the abundance of creative expressions and pointed out that we need to be mindful of ‘gonnas, haftas, wannas, kindas, sortas.’   The solution: pretend we’re behind  the lectern in Denny’s, not trying to virtually slip by unnoticed…

 

The Word of the Day was

 

NUANCE, noun

 

A subtle difference in or shade of meaning, expression or sound.

 

Here is the recording:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fO_6dcTdnys

 

See you next week!

 

Ana I.

Recap Writer

Table Topics by the dozen, , To Mask or Not To Mask and Mentoring or Ministering - a fun meeting of EarlyBirds

 

Dear Members, Guests and Friends:

 

DTM Mary Helen launched us off in a multifaceted and marathonic Table Topics this morning.  We found out that….

 

• TM Carmine sailed right through his second chance in life and is currently on his 5^th chance, dutifully wearing a mask.
• I (Ana) avoid “If Onlys” and “What Ifs” because although hindsight is intelligent, once the past is gone, it’s gone.
• TM Marie likes “Right On” because it’s affirming and since the Age of Zoom, she has not had to use Google Maps again.  Note:  We were told by a certain millennial that the 2020 word is “That’s lit”.
• TM BeckyJo corrected my (Ana’s) un-Americanism by renting The Wizard of Oz (which I had not seen, to her horror) and a bucket of popcorn and making me watch it.  Then, and only then, did I become officially American.  She Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM Jeff mused about UK’s parliament’s pesky habit of prefacing contentious issues,  such as Brexit and fishing rights with “Hear Ye, Hear Ye”.  Construe you, construe you too.
• TM Chris confessed that although she could be laying back and reading good books, she’s got blind ambition to finish writing a book and discovering if anyone is interested in it besides her immediate family.  She’s considering joining Obsessive Writers Anonymous.
• Having construed  that his Fellow Men have consistently messed things up, and totally based on New Zealand’s female PM’s results with the pandemic, TM Jim has changed his motto to Fellow Woman.
• TM Jose does Reality Checks many times a day – by running things by a trusted friend and only listening to scientific reports on tv and radio.  If only the scientists could find a consensus!
• TM Tom was amazed at being asked about a fruitful experience.  The best he can construe is acceptable, tolerable.  Are we ever satisfied? He pondered.
• TM Aleta evokes memories of hugging other human beings.  Connections rejuvenate the spirit.  The old corporate slogan “Reach out and touch someone” has been replaced by “Reach out and Zoom someone.”
• DTM Kip was served a steaming cup of coffee in front of our very eyes by his loyal caterer.  He confessed that once he’s awake, he’s obnoxiously happy, which is often misconstrued by grouches and grinches around him.
• TM Pam reminisced – and educated the millennial in the room – about landlines and long distance charges and how blurry our recollections and perceptions become.  Luckily she doesn’t remember much of anything anymore.

 

Along came the prepared speeches….

 

• In her usual rich style, TM Pam took us on an exhilarating roller coaster ride of pumpkin seeds, bacchanal regattas, political masking and unmasking, skipping dreaded Thanksgiving dinners, getting bikini ready in our ripe old bodies….   She Won Best Speaker Award.
• DTM Kip entertained us by telling us how he confused mentoring with ministering and in the process, he hired shady characters who flawlessly soldered the wrong parts together and blew smoke at motherboards under cover of failed security clearances.  He Won Most Improved Speaker Award.

 

As for evaluations….

 

• TM Carmine highly commended TM Pam for her amazingly high IQ which allows her to weave exquisitely intricate speeches and encouraged her to publish her speech and join Obsessive Writers Anonymous with TM Chris.
• TM Marie was thoroughly entertained with DTM Kip’s storytelling abilities and cautioned him about breathing too close to the mic – it’s creepy, although it fit very well with this particular thriller speech populated by stateless Lebanese characters. She Won Best Evaluator Award.

 

The Word of the Day was

 

CONSTRUE,

To understand or explain the meaning of something in a particular way

 

Synonym – to interpet

 

Meeting Recording is at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ekv226o7uZI

 

See you next week!

 

Ana I.

Recap Writer

Wisdom of the (S)ages, Non-Brutal Communication and Great Relationships, a fun morning at EarlyBirds

 Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

TM Carmine started us off with some wisdom for the (s)ages.  We thus learned that…

 

• TM Aleta was surprised by her rapacious dog Bogart who last night said to her, amid a cloud of cigarette smoke  “We’ll always have Paris”… She brought him to Toastmasters instead.
• I (Ana) confessed that after 39 years of marriage and 4 months of confinement,  it’s best not buy too much Miracle Gro for character defects, they have taken on a life of their own.
• TM Pam almost went the extra State when she missed an exit and instead of Gainesville, almost ended up in Georgia.  How’s a GPS to know the difference between two Gs???
• TM Joe conceded that he doesn’t act his age and gladly so because he doesn’t intend to, either.  He’s determined to continue growing young.
• TM Tom asks himself every day “What the kale is kale?” Here’s the good news, Tom.  You’re not alone - most of us do, too!
• DTM Mary Helen often ponders what her life may have been like had she made different mistakes.  The possibilities are endless.  She was not a good teenager and she does not consider herself a good oldager – so what’s next?  She is already working on a sequel to her unwritten memoirs.
• TM Jeff vehemently refuted the idea that millennials will write history with misspellings and no punctuation.  What is autocorrect for?
• TM Marie revealed that being an adult is realizing that you are Santa Claus. There’s nowhere else to turn.  Christmas is her favorite time of the year although it makes a deep hole in her pocket.   She Won Best Table Topics Award.
• TM Jose holds frequent staff meetings with the committee in his head – he calls the meeting to order, he listens, he answers himself. Lately he tries to bounce things off like-minded people who corroborate that he needs to emphasize the adjourning portion of the meetings.

 

 

In the prepared speeches….

 

• TM Joe has worked long and hard on Pathways to discover his communication style – it has now evolved from sarcasm and boredom while listening to others to dry humor and motivational one-liners.  The fashionable  face masks have helped Joe  to suppress yawns without getting noticed.  He Won Most Improved Speaker Award.
• TM Jeff shared his best advice for a successful relationship:  Get a dog that doesn’t shed while dancing the Roomba.   He Won Best Speaker Award.

 

And then came evaluations…

 

• TM Marie commended TM Joe for his clever way of making this Pathways project appealing and fun for the rest of us, thanks to his use of humor and his vivacious Italian hand movements which remind her of her husband. She Won Best Evaluator Award.
• DTM Kip gave a few tips to TM Jeff about making his speech less analytical and more of a kneeslapper with the use of a Furminator, starring a young Arnold Schwarzenegger.

 

The Word of the Day was

 

RAPACIOUS, adjective

1. Having or showing a strong or excessive desire to acquire money or possess things.  Greedy.
2. Living by killing prey, especially in large numbers.
3. Taking things by force; plundering.

 

The meeting recording may be accessed here:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwQXM6VUACM

 

 

See you next week!

 

Ana I.

Recap Writer

Headlines, Never in a Million Years and Zoom Tips - a lively morning at EarlyBird Toastmasters

 

Dear Members, Guests and Friends,

 

Ever the multitasker millennial, newly inducted President, birthday boy and Topic Master Jeff started us off with media headlines:

 

• TM Carmine gave his unique interpretation of declining jobless rates which, as a faithful reader and follower of the Fake News, he unequivocally attributes to skewed reports from the only fair, balanced and unafraid one.
• TM Astrid is moving back to Florida in August so she is postponing her planned preliminary visit in July to avoid the mandatory quarantine dictated by a certain tv personality with a Cuomo surname.
• DTM Mary Helen remembers the long lines at the gas pump during the mandate of a certain peanut farmer and is enjoying the current low prices with no lines, although she does worry about keeping oilyTexans employed.  She also reported that lately, her vehicle gets  3 months to the gallon.
• Visitor Area Director Jonathan marveled at artificial intelligence, namely a certain facespiralnotebook site which knows everything about us. He urged us to be cautious with our posts to avoid having them come back to bite us in the derriere.
• I, Ana, gratefully acknowledged the priceless fact that I will not be present at a Florida theme park’s reopening – strict rules or permissive rules notwithstanding- and will sit comfortably in my air conditioned home while young parents weather the scorching heat (wearing face masks, to boot) and interminable lines to please their unpleasable, screaming, strung out offspring.  I Won Best Table Topics Award.

 

And then came the long-awaited prepared speeches:

 

• TM Jose practiced reinventing himself waaaay before it became trendy an, while under the impression that he was joining a toy industry giant, instead he became an avid tourist providing furniture to perfectly coiffed technology wizards who demanded overnight deliveries for their agricultural irrigation systems.  He Won Most Improved Speaker Award.
• TM Chris gave us a practical demonstration of Top 8 Tips for Using Zoom. All of us discovered buttons we didn’t previously know were there.  In this mindset, she then took us on a psychedelic trip down the tunnel of mirrors.  She Won Best Speaker Award.

 

In the evaluations…

 

• TM Tom praised TM Jose for his genuine personality magic which totally transcends the screen and looks forward to future speeches with lots of Spanish words pronunciated in Spanish.   He Won Best Evaluator Award.
• TM Pam thanked TM Chris – speaking for all of us- for the demonstration speech with integrated questions and giving us a chance to practice on screen.  She suggested to limit the tips to 3 instead of 8.  That’s the limit of what most of us can handle in one session….

 

The Word of the Day was

 

UNIQUE,  one of a kind, unlike anyone. 

 

Dates to Remember: 

August 13 – speech evaluation contest

August 27 – humorous speech contest

 

Link for the YouTube recording  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbUowniYeQc

 

See you next week!

 

Ana

Recap Writer

Campaign Slogans, Early Bird Beginnings and Looking Ahead - another innately fun EarlyBird meeting

 

Dear Members, Friends and Guests,

 

It’s Happy New Year at Toastmasters!  We celebrated by inducting our new officers and bidding a grateful farewell to the outgoing.   Our returning TM Jose was welcome back to the Club with raucous applause by a cheerful crowd.

 

I, Ana (sounds like I, Claudius) launched Table Topics with popular campaign slogans from the 50s and 60s.

 

• TM Joe is grateful that his wife and daughters don’t leave home without their phones and their surgical masks, rather than their credit card, it causes less of a dent in his wallet and prevents panic attacks.
• TM Marie loves paper towels, the quicker picker uppers, because she has a bulimic cat.
• TM Jose reminisced about the friendly skies, when flight attendants were actually friendly although some planes in certain countries were glued together with gum.
• TM Tom enjoyed finger-lickin good fried chicken while flying friendly skies with pressurized cabins that kept him from exploding.  He won Best Table Topics Award.
• DTM Kip carries a stain stick with him everywhere because he experiences a strange phenomenon where food, paint, dirt, dust and other particles fly through the atmosphere and adhere to his clothes.
• TM Pam lost the bet of eating only just one potato chip a long long time ago so what’s the use anyway? We will all just get larger sweat pants.  Confinement may become permanent because the alternative is ugly.
• TM Chris likes slogans to be truthful and to say that Coca Cola is the real thing is clearly beyond the pale.  She will just continue to teach old dogs new tricks, whether they take issue with the canine comparison or not.

 

In the prepared speech….

 

• TM Aleta conquered surrounding chaos and noise in the rural diner where she reminisced about her early times in EarlyBirds.  She may be preparing to unfazedly delivering speeches to angry mobs, which seems to be the order of the day.   She won Most Improved Speaker and Best Speaker Award by a landslide.

 

As for the evaluation…

 

• TM Joe praised TM Aleta for her composure amidst chaos, which reinforces why we’re in Toastmasters anyway, to learn to nonchalantly French press coffee when all else fails.   He won Best Evaluator by a landslide.

 

Tech Tips:

 

• In an unexpected turn of events, a baffled TM Guru Jim had to admit that for him, like for the rest of us ungurus, technology has a mind of its own and some days those buttons just don’t seem to work.

 

Incoming Prez’ TM Jeff launched a discussion about the future of the group.  Several ideas were presented and will be followed up.  Exciting times are ahead for EarlyBirds.  If you want to know more details, come to our next meetings!!

 

The Word of the Day is

 

INNATE, adjective

 

Belonging to the essential nature of something.  Inherent, native, inborn.

 

Example:  She has an innate sense of rhythm.

 

YouTube Recording link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rgxXDwnE5U

 

Visit our Facebook page and LOVE what you see

 

https://www.facebook.com/EarlyBirdToastmaster

 

See you next week!

 

Ana I.

Recap Writer